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chapter 01
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The Sanctu Orphanage respects each person’s private time, but every Monday at 9:00 a.m. there is roll call and at 7:00 p.m. dinner must be taken together.
At those times, avoid the girl named Berjene. If she approaches you first, be kind. She will not harm you first, and if she accomplishes her purpose she will soon back off.
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At the Sanctu Orphanage there are places you may not enter without permission and places you must never enter. The former are the director’s office, the wine cellar, the food storeroom, and the basement. The latter is Room 9 on the third floor.
The owner of that room, Berjene, does not mingle with the other children in the orphanage. Even if someone says she’s asking for you, do not follow. If you accidentally enter the room, apologize and leave immediately.
Even if Berjene gets annoyed, she will not chase you. Afterward, visit the infirmary.
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Orphanage children may go out on Sundays. However, you must get permission from a teacher in advance and return before dinner time.
Within reason you are free to do what you like outside, but do not be curious about whatever Berjene is doing, and do not follow her. Even if you happen to see her by chance, run away before she notices you.
……Surprisingly, this Napolitan folk‑tale‑sounding warning was referring to me.
To explain why I was treated like a dangerous element, I have to go back half a year.
An epidemic swept the city, and the Sanctu Orphanage, where I lived, wasn’t spared.
‘I got sick along with everyone else too.’
My brain felt like it would melt; the fever kept coming at all hours, red spots rose all over my body, and my throat swelled so I could barely breathe.
The crown sent doctors to resolve the situation, but by then many people were already dead. More than half the children at Sanctu died.
Whether I was lucky or not, I survived with no aftereffects.
Except that my curse grew stronger.
At the orphanage we cleaned the rooms together with the other kids and burned the belongings of those who had lost their owners. Then we all dressed in the neatest black clothes.
“How real the empty seats feel now… Follow properly. Don’t wander off to some silly place.”
Burial in the ground was a luxury in that situation, so we cremated them and scattered the ashes in the nearby river.
Everyone carried an urn in their hands for that reason.
“Why not you?” Margaret, who had been sniffling and crying in front the whole time, took advantage of the teachers stepping away and shouted at me.
“Why does it have to be someone else instead of you?”
It was a cruel way of saying I ought to be the one who died.
Now that I think about it, maybe a close friend had died in all this.
I was about to retort that if my friend was so precious she should have gone with her, but I kept my mouth shut.
‘Why do I feel déjà vu from that line?’
A strong feeling told me not to brush it off.
First, I needed to get rid of that smug look on her face, assuming I’d been cowed by her and delayed my reply.
“What a beautiful friendship. If you’d stayed together until the end, the state might have awarded you a medal — what a shame, Margaret.”
Even a fool recognizes when someone’s insulting them. Margaret’s face turned bright red; she ran to the director and whispered energetically while casting sidelong glances. She was tattling on me.
After the memorial, when we returned to the orphanage, the director called me in right away.
“Why did you say such a nasty thing?”
As expected, Margaret conveniently left out her own part. Rather than protest my innocence, I put on an expression of ignorance.
“Nasty thing? Me?”
“You tried to say you’d die following Margaret.”
“Well, Director, you know Margaret tends to exaggerate. I meant to encourage her because she’s grieving a lot. Saying ‘staying together till the end’ is also an option.”
The director seemed to believe I’d spoken without malice.
“Still, Berjene. You shouldn’t say things like that. No one truly wants to die.”
“I’m reflecting on it already.”
“All right. Then what punishment should we give?”
“I’ll clean your office today.”
Cleaning was one of the punishments typically assigned, so the director accepted easily.
As soon as she left, I sprang into action. Cleaning, my foot — I was looking for clues.
‘I felt déjà vu because it was exactly the same as the opening of the side story <Be Holy>.’
It was a tale where the saintly female lead and the paladin male lead eradicate evil and restore honor.
Amazingly and absurdly, I had been born as a character from a book. The side character Berjene — the beautiful mistress of the crown prince’s handsome confidant.
More precisely, I had been the prince’s hidden right hand, and during the epidemic I used my strengthened “curse” to bolster the prince’s power.
Don’t be complacent thinking suffering ends soon and happiness begins.
‘Berjene gets used and used until she’s forced to take all the blame and is executed.’
When the saintly woman exposed the royal family’s ugly underside, the crown prince wanted Berjene to shoulder the crime.
Because he didn’t want the saint to despise him.
So I had to avoid the crown prince at all costs.
According to the side story, five years later — at age fifteen — I would be betrayed by the director and handed over to others.
Because the “curse” made me a rare commodity, instead of ending up at an auction I would be shown to a distinguished guest.
‘That guest was the crown prince, Lahes, and…’
“Come with me.”
The second prince of the firmament. The fresh blue in his eyes beneath his dense lashes soaked Berjene’s heart through and through.
“I will cherish you.”
I didn’t think the ‘Berjene’ in the novel and I were separate. So I could understand why Berjene fell for Lahes.
‘Because he reached out to me first and only when I was about to go mad from loneliness.’
Lahes didn’t hold my hand or embrace me, but he kept his promise to cherish me perfectly.
Every day he sent bouquets with handwritten cards of poetry, and at the end of the social season he took me to his villa and spent time with me.
Berjene did not regret her choice even up to the moment she stood on the scaffold.
On the day she climbed into the carriage holding Lahes’ hand, she had vowed to live and die for him.
‘But that doesn’t mean I want to follow the exact same future.’
I skimmed through the orphanage file that listed the children’s personal details, then shut it quickly.
I had found the phrase written on my file.
Rare grade. Handle with special care.
Only twelve years old — far too young to make any decisions for myself. I needed a guardian to protect me from anything.
Since the director apparently had no intention of arranging an adoption, I had to find one myself.
‘An ordinary household won’t do.’
My curse endangered anyone who shared the same space with me.
So the candidate I thought of was the Duke of Edendale.
In the main story, Berjene once attempted an assassination on Lahes’ order.
The Duke of Edendale was immune to the curse. When he reported the failure to Lahes, clearly shaken, Lahes said something like:
“You did say you were going to develop immunity to poisons from childhood — I guess that rumor was true.”
He sounded unsurprised.
“Whatever you’re thinking, you’re on the side of the crown for now.”
The Duke of Edendale therefore satisfied two conditions.
First: having me near him caused no adverse effects.
Second: he had the power to stand against the crown.
‘But the problem is how do I contact the Duke…?’
The Duke of Edendale hadn’t shown himself since the emperor’s coronation.
At the court banquets held by the royal family he sent his eldest son as a representative.
‘I don’t remember the novel mentioning any separate outside activities of his.’
Even if he did, the main story takes place ten years from now, which isn’t helpful at all.
If I were the daughter of some noble house there might have been chances to maneuver, but there was nothing.
I thought about applying even as a servant, but there were age minimums and recommendation letters required.
‘Among the families that sponsor the Sanctu Orphanage, there’s no one with enough clout to introduce me to the Duke.’
And of course there was no reason for them to introduce me.
Feeling utterly helpless, I even considered just going there and barging in.
Though I’d probably be chased off after loitering near the main gate.
When I finished tidying the ransacked director’s office, it was already evening, so I went down to the dining hall.
Because I had to use a six‑person room alone due to the curse, I could also take up more space at the table.
‘No one sits near me anyway.’
My mouth tasted bitter.
It was the director who had insisted I eat in the dining room because we were a family and should spend time together.
It was hard to accept that someone who had cared so much would turn around and sell me.
When all the children had seated themselves, the director clapped to get everyone’s attention.
“All right, let us pray with gratitude for the food given to us.”
After reciting the tedious prayer, I took a spoonful of vegetable stew, and heard the boys talking.
“What’s that thing? Stolen it?”
“What are you saying. It’s what we bought from the back‑alley branch for running errands.”
It sounded like they… had found a way.
