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Chapter 5
“Alright.”
I tilted my head, but without arguing further, I picked up the tray. Just then, Grandma spoke firmly.
“Leave the oriental melon.”
“……”
If she wasn’t going to eat it, I should sell it—so I was thinking—but no such luck.
After neatly peeling the melon down to the very last piece, I withdrew carrying a tray that held nothing but peels. I grew worried. She wasn’t the kind of person to push work onto someone just because she felt unwell.
Is Grandma seriously sick?
In fact, after meeting me, Grandma had gotten much healthier. Anyone would, eating fresh vegetables and fruit every single day.
Above all, meat consumption in this region was excessively high.
Tomorrow I should pick some vegetables myself and bring them to her.
If she wrapped well-steamed meat in fresh leafy greens, Grandma’s headaches would disappear like magic. With light steps, I headed back home.
When I got home, utter chaos awaited me.
What kind of chaos, you ask?
The kind where a human is desperately trying to soothe the feelings of an inanimate object.
“Rui-Rui, why are you so angry~? Huh? Calm down.”
—How dare you use another sword and then shamelessly come back to see me?
Anyone watching might think I’d cheated on it.
More importantly, I was peeling an oriental melon. Who peels a melon with a huge sword like you instead of a kitchen knife?
Just imagining it made my thumb ache.
But this sword was extremely noisy, and if I ignored it, I’d surely be exhausted later. So once again, I gently coaxed it.
“Hey, Rui-Rui. The coolest Rui in the world. Rui who’s sharp enough to split the heavens.”
—……Go on.
Ugh, this sword hilt, seriously.
Why do I have to cater to the mood of an inanimate object?
A wave of existential despair hit me again, but I’d already invested too much time to give up now.
With patience, I soothed the sword.
“Next time I’ll definitely carry you at my side, Rui-Rui. I’ll brag about how amazing a sword you are. So calm down, okay?”
—Hmph. That’s a promise?
“I told you. Besides, no one is allowed to carry weapons in front of the lord anyway—that’s why I left you behind. Wouldn’t you have felt worse if you’d been shoved into a guard’s hands or laid on the ground?”
—There exists no human who would dare treat me in such a manner!
Oh dear. Praise it a little, and now it’s possessed by Louis XIV again.
“There, there. Yes, yes.”
I tapped the bouncing blade lightly with my finger. It was definitely an inanimate object, yet it felt like patting the backside of a disobedient child. Why was that?
—Ahem. Ahem.
Probably because of how eerily human this sword’s voice sounded.
It really feels like a living being. Can a sword have a soul to this extent?
Rui Garbon Bontuar III—who occasionally spouted the most cringeworthy lines—was a truly unique sword.
It could converse, probably change its shape freely, and even fly.
And it emits light on its own, so at night it works as a substitute for a fluorescent lamp.
When I asked why it sparkled so brightly at night, Rui’s reply was absurdly cool.
—The hand of God remains constant even while humans sleep.
Wow. A line that really got you drunk on its grandeur. The problem was that the sword delivering it had nothing whatsoever to do with divine hands and was instead the ultimate middle-school-syndrome show-off king.
Still, it suits my once-quiet life. And above all, the lights in this world are far too dim.
In this world, nights were lit with whale oil. Thinking about whales being hunted just to illuminate the streets made me reluctant to use it.
If only I were an engineering student who could invent gas lamps or electricity!
But I knew myself well. I’d probably only manage to make direct current, then get overshadowed by successors like Tesla.
Farming suits me best.
Thinking that, I looked at Rui with a bit of regret.
How pretty would a hoe be if made from that transparent white metal? I wondered if it would transform if I asked it to become one.
—……W-What! Why are you thinking such lewd thoughts while looking at me?!
Lewd thoughts? This sword really said everything.
“Oh, right. Grandma the lord said something strange earlier.”
—What did she say?
“She said the territory has been extremely prosperous lately. Livestock are having lots of offspring, and fruits and grains are bearing abundantly. Isn’t that strange?”
Farming depends not only on a farmer’s hard work, but just as much on the weather. That’s why people say you can only reap as much as the heavens allow.
But she’s right. This year, the weather has been unusually good.
At this rate, autumn would surely bring a bumper harvest. But even abundance came with its own problems.
Fruit and grain prices will drop, while labor costs stay the same. I’ll have to find new markets.
As I was pondering this in a rare, businesslike manner, Rui suddenly swooped over and thrust itself in front of my face.
—All of that is thanks to my blessing!
“What?”
What did you do? All you’ve done is zip around my room when you’re bored.
You can’t even sing a lullaby.
Since Rui was a sword, it obviously didn’t sleep at night. It was so noisy that I once told it to float beside me and sing a lullaby.
I’ve never regretted my own decisions more than at that moment.
Was I stupid for expecting a song from a sword, or was it this human-like sword’s fault for being incapable of it? To this day, I don’t know.
In any case, Rui’s daily self-admiration continued.
—I am a body forged with the deepest devotion of Lord Boneracol! It is only natural law that crops grow and livestock multiply where I dwell!
“Boneracol?”
—It’s Lord Boneracol! Bo. Ne. Ra. Col!!!
“Boneracolle-lee.”
It still didn’t realize I was teasing it.
“Oh my, how cute.”
—Cute?! I am extremely, extremely magnificent!
“Aw, really~?”
—S-Stop it! I-I don’t hate it… just a little!
Why not just be honest with yourself? Every time I fawned over it, I could practically see it melting.
—Didn’t I tell you? I am the state itself. When there is food, people gather, and naturally a nation forms. That is why civilizations have always begun in fertile lands.
“Our Rui knows such big words.”
—Do you think I’m some eight-year-old child?!
You look like a baby to me.
I just smiled and listened to Rui’s long speech. From experience, I knew that interrupting at times like this meant enduring its nagging until my ears bled.
That was my last golden chance. I shouldn’t have let Rui’s words go in one ear and out the other.
The next day—at the beginning of the month when, in this world’s terms, magpie violets begin to bloom—
An unfamiliar visitor came to our house.
“Is anyone home?”
“…Who is it?”
I was just about to check on my land, wearing a straw hat with a towel around my neck and work gloves snug on my hands, when there was a knock at the door.
Peeking out, I saw several sturdy-looking young men standing outside.
Who are they?!
In four years of living in this world, this had never happened. I turned my head this way and that.
If something happens, I’ll swing a weapon—
Wait. Didn’t I actually have one?
“Rui-Rui.”
—What is it?
“The people outside look suspicious.”
—Hohoho, at last, the time has come to display my power. I shall turn this entrance into a sea of blood at once—
“Don’t talk nonsense! A sea of blood, my foot.”
Do you know how hard bloodstains are to clean? And it’d lower the property value.
Besides, flashy talk aside, I couldn’t imagine my Rui-Rui actually cutting a person. What if it broke while showing off?
“Don’t move until I swing you. Got it?”
—As expected of the master I chose! Yes, the master of Rui Garbon Bontuar III must be brave.
Who decided I was brave?
I’m not timid, but I’m fundamentally uninterested in other people.
Bravery is far from it. Honestly, I just want to lie in bed, eat snacks, and scroll on my smartphone.
Come to think of it, I’ve been living way too diligently for someone like me.
Thinking that, I turned the door handle.
“Who—”
The word are you never made it out of my throat. The man standing there was far too handsome.
Holy—wow.
His brilliant golden hair looked as though the sun itself had been transplanted onto his head. Beneath it, his pale face and cold blue eyes seized my gaze instantly.
Where did such a handsome man come from…
As I stared at his face, entranced, Rui buzzed in my arms.
—Snap out of it, Master! The master I chose is not swayed by appearances!
Hey, I chose you purely for visual reasons too. I picked you up because you looked like a hoe.
And his face was so dazzling that even a stone Buddha in my place would’ve wobbled like a rocking stone.
As I stood there mesmerized, his elegant lips parted.
“You thieving cat.”
Elegant though he was, the words that came out were anything but. I replied stupidly,
“Not my baby cat?”
“……”
This time, it was the other party who was left speechless.
