BOMW 15

chapter 15

Before Pervin went to look for Irwen, the situation was like this. Summoned by the Emperor, he had been told something that hit like a bolt from the blue.

“The Duke of Lillias will be arriving next week.”

Pervin’s face did not twitch in the slightest, but inside, he was mildly shocked. Leon Lillias — the young ruler who had succeeded his father, the late duke who died suddenly during the war — he had only met him once at the wedding and never since.
Of course, the relations between the Principality of Verma and the Terezia Empire were friendly, but it was no easy thing for the head of a nation to visit another.
If he was coming here, it could only mean something important.

“He says he’s coming alone this time. You and your wife are to give him a special welcome.”

“Isn’t he coming with his duchess?”

“She’s in the early stage of pregnancy and needs to rest. But that’s not the important part, Pervin. Do you know why he’s still coming alone, without his wife?”

The Emperor sighed and added:

“The Duke of Lillias is terribly worried about his younger sister. About you, and the Duchess, being a healthy man and woman but having no child — he’s very concerned that his sister might be feeling pressured about that.”

Pervin’s face turned pale. He had expected this day might come, but now that it had, his mind went blank. For the past four years he had corresponded with the Duke of Lillias. The duke was a warm older brother who always ended his letters by asking Pervin to take good care of Irwen, sometimes adding that he hoped they would live happily together.

That was why Pervin had never told him about Irwen’s old hatred for him — hatred so deep she might have killed him — or about how she now, as if she were a completely different person, was drawing him in with a new charm.

Looking at the Emperor’s eyes, which demanded an answer, Pervin spoke quickly.

“But we’ve only been married five years. Everyone’s worrying too much.”

“Oh, I heard that you do have the strength to make a child, but you’ve been saying it’s not yet the right time for an heir? You left a real quote for the ages there. Well, you’re famous for your strength, aren’t you?”

The teasing tone made Pervin blush to his ears. That had been a private comment among his household retainers — how on earth had it reached the Emperor? But the confident remark he had once made had long since spread throughout society.

“That kind of thing, you’re only supposed to say when you’re lovers. You’re not an heir with no worries about children; you’re the head of House Carlyle.”

The words were so accurate he had no retort. As he listened silently, the Emperor added another blow.

“And besides, does a child get made by one person alone? You know perfectly well it doesn’t just happen because you ‘want’ it.”

The directness of the remark made Pervin’s face burn even hotter.

“Don’t you know how especially protective the Duke is of his sister? It’s bad enough that there’s been no good news in her letters, but I’m told there’s hardly been any correspondence at all lately. If he finds out she collapsed recently, he might faint himself. You haven’t told him about the collapse, or how her attitude softened after she woke up, have you?”

When Pervin nodded, the Emperor clucked his tongue as if he had expected it.

“Anyway, the Duke sincerely worries about your succession. Every letter he asked whether there were signs of pregnancy yet.”

He was telling him to live happily with her, but writing such things to the Emperor? So the Duke too desperately wished for Irwen’s pregnancy. Pervin’s head spun as the Emperor, oblivious, went on.

“So I told him, the Carlyle couple still shows no signs of expecting. And he said he’d come see for himself.”

“See… what exactly?”

“Well, not that deeply, obviously. But he might at least say a word to the Duchess about paying more attention to the matter of an heir. She’s very loyal to Verma — that’s why she married you, after all.”

“I’ll explain the situation properly to the Duke when he arrives.”

Even as he spoke with the Emperor, Pervin kept glancing toward one corner of the banquet hall. Just a moment ago Irwen had been there, eating and meeting his eyes. Several young nobles, despite his warnings, were circling around her. They looked like they were desperate to ask her for a dance but were trying not to get caught. They conferred with grave expressions like men at war, only to be blocked by Marquess Celestine, who seemed genuinely worried for their lives. Still, some looked back wistfully as they withdrew. Pervin’s hands clenched without his realizing it. Irwen, unaware, kept nibbling food by herself.

“Pervin, since the Duke will be staying at your estate, make sure it’s in order. Any signs of a cold war between you two, get rid of them. If he thinks his sister has been mistreated, he might explode. You’re listening to me, aren’t you? Pervin?”

Pervin half ignored the words. He couldn’t take his eyes off Irwen. At the Emperor’s repeated demand for an answer, he finally turned back.

“Yes, understood.”

The moment the Emperor finished, he looked again toward Irwen — but she was gone. He scanned the hall; she was nowhere. Not among the dancing couples, not among the gossiping ladies.

“I’ll take my leave first.”

“Oh? Stay and chat a little more…”

But Pervin, pale-faced, left at once. The Emperor stroked his chin, muttering:

“He keeps staring at where the Duchess is. Their marital affection seems fine… so why no child yet?”

Pervin searched high and low until he reached a certain place: the palace’s officially permitted lovers’ rendezvous spot, the rose garden.

Surely Irwen isn’t here meeting some man…?

The very thought, absurd though it was, made his face pale. He searched carefully, avoiding the hidden couples embracing among the shrubs and trees. And then, in the colonnade beside the garden, he saw his wife walking aimlessly, her face flushed, stamping her feet as if lost. Suppressing a surge of relief and heat rising from his chest, he approached her.

Pervin pulled me sharply against him, looking into my eyes.

“Why are you here?”

I swallowed hard without meaning to. People say eyes show feelings, but in his dark gaze I could read nothing. With the moonlight behind him, he tilted his head slightly at me. His quiet inhalation brushed my chest.

“I told you I’d be there soon. Couldn’t you wait?”

“I was sitting still.”

“I looked at you, smiled at you, tried to keep you from being bored. Wasn’t that enough?”

His eyes seemed to demand if his efforts had been insufficient. I shrugged. Did he think that would soothe my loneliness?

“But sitting alone is so boring. If not, you could at least introduce me to some friends. Leaving me lonely like that — what, were you trying to tease me?”

He seemed momentarily at a loss for words, then fired back.

“So you wandered off and got lost? And ended up here, of all places? Do you know what this place is? Do you know how long I searched for you…?”

He bit his lips as if holding back emotion. Raising his head, he brushed against the green plant hanging from the wall above him. He glanced up. We were standing under mistletoe.

“Mistletoe.”

He murmured as if nothing were strange. At the far end of the colonnade, other couples were visible under mistletoe, kissing passionately. Sweet whispers floated in the air. Staring at the mistletoe, my eyes went back to him. His look was dangerous.

“They say if lovers kiss under mistletoe they’ll be happy.”

“I know, but it doesn’t seem to concern us, does it?”

“Why not?”

“Because we’re a married couple, not lovers.”

His face hardened. I felt his hand on my waist tighten. He leaned closer.

“Husbands and wives can be lovers too — if they love each other.”

“Do we love each other?”

“At least I do.”

His voice, sweet with his breath, whispered it. My mind went blank. Was it the mood, or drink, making him speak? Why was he doing this? His careless sweetness shook me. The night breeze swayed his hair like my heart. I remembered what he’d said the day we first dined together:

Don’t ever appear before me again, don’t shake me.

He’d told me not to shake him — then why was I shaken? I bit my lip and glared at him. For a while we only looked at each other without flinching. Was the deep hunger in his gaze my imagination? I felt an urge to respond to it. Nestling in his arms and looking up at him, I saw him suddenly turn his head. But then, as if noticing something, his eyes narrowed and he bent toward me.

“What is it?”

“Just stay like this for a moment. I’ll explain later.”

Pervin brought his lips close to mine — not exactly on them, but very near. While I stood tense in his arms, a familiar oily voice sounded from afar.

“Where on earth is she? I swear I saw her come this way.”

Through a small gap, I saw them: Duke Sibelom and a blonde lady in a revealing dress — Lady Rosamund Lassendil, a baron’s daughter who served the Empress and was one of the women trailing after Sibelom. He pushed her away as she pressed her chest to his arm.

“Stop following me.”

“Oh, come now. You haven’t found the one you’re looking for. I’ll soothe your lonely heart instead. My body’s better anyway.”

Rosamund pressed her ample bosom on him, but he looked around restlessly.

“Too dark to see.”

“Didn’t Duke Carlyle warn us not to approach or look at the Duchess? Can we really search for her here? What if he catches us?”

Sibelom looked at Rosamund with disdain.

“Why should I care about Carlyle? If she’s pretty I’ll take her. But where is my Lady Irwen? Is that her?”

Ah, so he’d been hunting me all along. I was furious and frightened at once. The closer he came, the tighter Pervin held me, hiding me in his huge frame. In his warm embrace my fear ebbed. I heard Sibelom’s voice muttering as he smacked his lips.

“Everyone else is paired off making love. Where could the Lady have gone? I meant to shower her with my passion.”

“Wait, sir — over there, that platinum hair. Isn’t that Duke Carlyle?”

Rosamund’s whisper made Sibelom pause.

“I can’t see clearly.”

“Then let’s go closer, Sibelom.”

The lovers’ colonnade was dark so people could not be seen easily. Soon his voice came again.

“No need to get close. Carlyle’s such a block of wood he wouldn’t do anything even alone with a woman here. The whole world knows Carlyle’s a log.”

Why did I feel angry at that? All the things Pervin had done with me — the night in the hut, our time together — flashed before me. A log? If he caught fire he could burn hotter than anyone.

“Still, we should check. Maybe Carlyle’s holding Lady Irwen here by force.”

The moment his nasty voice intruded again, I looped my arms around Pervin’s neck and pulled him to me. I pressed my lips fully to his. Meeting his startled green eyes, I closed mine — they’d darkened like they might devour me. His lips trembled slightly, surprised, but then he pressed closer, covering my face with his. His hot lips on mine were unbelievably soft. His fingers on my back burned. I pressed closer and parted my lips. Before I could react, his rough hot mouth engulfed mine.

His hand slid from my waist up my back. The caress of his big hand made my body arch. Peeking through trembling lids, I saw his deep green eyes fixed wholly on me. Everything was hot: his hand shielding my back from the cold wall, his gaze, his lips. Weak in the knees, I leaned on him. I had only meant to pretend a kiss to put Sibelom in his place — but my body was answering his fiery kiss. Heat rushed through me and I gasped. Pervin held me as if accustomed to it, pressing me to his hard body. Dazed, I melted into the first truly passionate kiss of my life. Wet lips devoured each other with sticky sounds when Sibelom’s voice clicked his tongue.

“No, the wooden Carlyle would never make love so passionately.”

Nestled in Pervin’s arms, lips on his, I nearly laughed. His eyes flashed with anger. Then Rosamund’s voice:

“If I may say, the Duchess won’t be found no matter how you look. Maybe she went home.”

“True. She was never a society lady. Well then, if not the pheasant, the chicken. Come here.”

Sibelom reached into her dress. She giggled coyly.

“Oh, not here! Let’s do it in the dark over there.”

Perfume wafting thickly, they passed by us. Only after their footsteps faded did I push Pervin away, breaking from his hot lips. His hand still lingered on my waist; I slapped it away quickly. Even touching him another second would make my heart burst. The instant I pushed him, his heated face was swiftly covered with coldness. After pacing, he spoke hurriedly.

“I’m sorry for that kiss. But I had no choice if I was to shield you. From now on… I’ll avoid such things.”

“No, I kissed first. I should apologize. And it wasn’t forced.”

I tried to keep calm but my heart pounded wildly. Pervin’s expression shifted constantly as he looked at me, confused. Sibelom’s pursuit had been a valid reason, Pervin had apologized — but most of all, I was blushing from my first real kiss, trying to act unaffected. Acting cool, words tumbled from my mouth.

“Whew, Duke Sibelom showing up really scared me. He looks decent, but why does he do such things?”

At the name “Sibelom” Pervin’s face went pale, as if struggling to hide his jealousy and anger. But I was too busy dealing with my own feelings. My face burned from the ecstasy of the kiss. Though this was the second time our lips had met, this was our first real kiss. If the light peck after the festival had been sweet chocolate, this was a rich wine — ripe, dense, making me crave more. I couldn’t shake the strange feeling of a first kiss. So intoxicated, I didn’t notice the deepening look in Pervin’s eyes.

“Don’t mention another man’s name in front of me, Irwen.”

His growl pricked my chest. My face flushed; I couldn’t look at him. My eyes kept going not to his but to his moist lips.

“There you go again. Things were going well, why get angry now?”

His gaze flickered. Taking a breath, his voice softened.

“I’m not angry at you. I’m angry at those lecherous eyes looking at you.”

He bit his lip and stepped closer. I involuntarily stepped back. There was a dangerous air about him. Staring into my eyes for a long time, he suddenly took my hand. His palm was as hot as his racing heart. He drew my hand to his flushed cheek, rubbing against it, then pressed his heated lips firmly to my palm. His dark green eyes fixed on me.

“I hate you looking at anyone else, thinking of anyone else.”

From his heated lips came a voice rough with desire.

“I want my wife to look only at me.”

Thump. My heart leapt out of my chest. Thank heaven it was night and my red face was hidden. How many times had he said such things today? Be kind only to me, don’t leave me so untouched, look only at me. His eyes burned at me. Was he serious? Why say such things? Questions flooded, but the words tangled; what came out was entirely different.

“Even if I don’t love you?”

The corner of Pervin’s eye trembled. He bit his lip and exhaled long, as if trying to regain composure — but failed. His gaze on me glittered dangerously. Unable to hold himself back, he softly brushed my lips.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m loving enough for both of us.”