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Chapter 45
It’s All Yours Anyway
Johan narrowed his deep eyes.
“Tender?”
The scar was undeniable, even if it wasn’t very visible.
No matter if she was adopted, a scar on a noblewoman’s body was impossible.
“Moreover, Estelle was the cherished daughter of the Libertan family.”
For a noblewoman, a scar was a serious issue. Yet their beloved daughter in Libertan had a scar.
“Libertan has connections with the temple.”
The priests often visited the duchy for the sickly Estelle.
“A wound that could be healed by divine power was left untreated.”
Before the adopted Estelle arrived, the duchy had a biological daughter, Yestella. The Blanchet duke and duchess had donated lavishly to the temple, having priests reside at the duchy to care for their sick daughter.
Perhaps Estelle had…
“Abandoned me.”
At that moment, Johan recalled what happened in the monster forest.
Tears streamed endlessly down the face of the woman clinging to him in the rain.
Her small hands pushing him away were so cold they didn’t feel alive.
Johan had been angry that she kept trying to die. Any living being should naturally want to survive—but she didn’t.
Before he knew it, Johan lost his cool and let his emotions take over.
He scolded Estelle with a face he didn’t recognize himself.
“Why! Why do you keep talking about wanting to die?”
He grabbed her frail shoulders and shouted.
“Beg to live!”
He couldn’t bear it any other way.
Estelle, who always smiled beautifully at Johan, who always said what he wanted to hear, who always acted irresistibly lovable—she was broken.
Her dark blue eyes lost their shine like white foam shattered by the waves.
“Beg to live?”
“You think I don’t want to live?”
Estelle cried in sorrowful anger.
“Did that look easy?”
“Why would it be easy? How could it be easy?”
Johan had never seen that face of Estelle before.
His anger, which had surged, suddenly cooled. It was shocking.
“What does Johan know about me?”
It felt like he was seeing the real, hidden Estelle for the first time.
Not the lovely adopted girl of Libertan, but the woman named ‘Estelle’ inside.
Not the daughter of Libertan everyone talked about, but Estelle.
“And yet, you tell me to want to live?”
Johan pulled her into a tight embrace. Her hand clutching his clothes shook violently.
“How can you make that expression…”
A face so sorrowful and sad, it was almost desperate.
“You don’t know anything.”
The emotions and expression in her face revealed the real her.
The waves of intense emotion crashed over Johan, breaking his heart.
“Estelle, you’re right.”
Johan decided he had learned enough about Estelle.
“I thought I knew you.”
He had investigated Estelle Libertan thoroughly, even sending spies to the Blanchet residence.
Yet the reports were not much different from public opinion.
‘The Blanchet couple are extremely indulgent of the impostor. They spend time together no matter what.’
‘I snuck into the impostor’s room. She slept happily among all her luxuries.’
‘Whenever displeased, she tormented the maid who shared her room. She didn’t inherit Libertan’s blood, but she looks just like her.’
Some spies even showed strong hostility toward Estelle.
‘A deplorable being I can’t bear to watch.’
‘She scorned and insulted people in a terribly unpleasant way, seemingly forgetting she was a commoner herself.’
‘I tried not to be prejudiced, but truly, she’s extraordinary.’
Even spies, who rarely showed emotion, hated her.
“But I didn’t know anything.”
Estelle, now the Blanchet duchess, was exactly as the spies reported.
A lovable adopted girl of Libertan. She acted unassuming in a new place, but soon her true self would emerge.
Johan thought that way.
“Why didn’t I try to know you more?”
But the face he saw in the rain could not be faked.
“At least I should have known more about you.”
Johan gave a bitter laugh. Upon reflection, he had also treated her as a mere formal wife, never trying to see the real her.
“Estelle, you weren’t cherished in Libertan… you were neglected—”
Estelle stirred lightly in her sleep.
Even after leaving Johan’s arms, she slept peacefully. Her angelic, gentle face was adorable.
Raindrops struck the window with a plunk, then the torrential rain poured again.
A relentless monsoon.
As Johan rose from the bed, thunder rumbled in the dark sky.
Boom! Crash!
Estelle, who had been sleeping peacefully, startled and sat up.
“Estelle. Did you sleep well?”
Johan approached her gently.
But Estelle didn’t look at him or respond. She only stared at the floor.
‘Her eyes have no focus at all.’
Her lovely face had turned pale, holding back tears in fear.
“…Estelle?”
Johan sat beside her, trying to place a hand on her shoulder.
“No, I don’t want to!”
Estelle curled up hastily, unconsciously.
She had clutched him so tightly that red marks were left on his arms, and it seemed her nails might draw blood.
“I’m sorry. It’s all my fault. So please…”
Johan gritted his teeth and tried to calm her.
“Estelle, come to your senses. Here is—”
She was beyond reasoning.
Still, he couldn’t let her harm herself.
Johan struggled to free her hands.
‘What on earth—’
Her eyes reddened as tears flowed. Terrified, she clasped her hands and begged.
“I won’t say it hurts. Just this once…”
“Estelle!”
Crash! Thunder roared again.
“Kyaaaah!”
Estelle thrashed, screaming.
“No! It hurts! I’m sorry it hurts! But, but…!”
Her struggling feet hit the floor under the bed, swelling red.
It had to be the thunder. Johan drew the curtain to block the view and the noise.
Still, she couldn’t breathe properly, still terrified as if choked.
She muttered something, though it was too muffled to understand.
“Estelle.”
Johan gently cupped her cheeks, bringing her face to him. Her colorless face gave no sign of life.
‘She can’t breathe properly.’
Johan pressed his lips to hers, blowing his breath in. Warmth gradually calmed her.
“Are you okay now?”
Her body stopped trembling, and Johan checked her again.
Estelle had fallen asleep once more.
‘That just now felt unreal.’
The only proof it wasn’t a nightmare was her swollen ankle, bruised from hitting the bed.
Johan examined it. Her foot, barely escaping the bed, was thin and fragile.
He wrapped a bandage around her ankle and held her close, burying his face in her neck. Any separation might break her.
“It’s okay, Estelle.”
He whispered tirelessly to her, though she couldn’t hear.
“I’m here. I’m right here.”
His voice trembled with longing and sadness.
‘This wasn’t just neglect.’
He didn’t know what had happened to Estelle, but…
‘It couldn’t have been mere neglect.’
I was having a vivid dream.
In it, I knelt like a sinner.
“What will you do with that impostor?”
“She dared claim the saint’s seat? Bold.”
A woman in a gleaming chair spoke cautiously, moving her soft pink lips.
“Don’t be too harsh. She must have had no choice.”
Golden hair that flowed like sunlight, mysterious blue eyes.
Porcelain-like skin, a gentle and kind smile, delicate and innocent beauty.
I recognized her instantly, though I had only seen her in portraits.
It was Yestella.
‘Wasn’t Yestella dead?’
She looked healthy, not like someone who had died.
Familiar men stood protectively beside her.
“Yestella, you’re too kind.”
The crown prince offered his shoulder to the frail Yestella.
“Indeed, Lady Yestella. That one not only impersonated you but also sought to harm you.”
Riandro stood holding a sword in one hand to protect Yestella, and the other gently held her noble hand.
“But even so…”
Yestella’s many followers appeared around me. They hurled stones.
“Disappear, impostor!”
“Shameless villain!”
Yestella looked at me, letting her long eyelashes fall.
“Enough, everyone. I have already forgiven her.”
Riandro said sternly:
“A sinner is a sinner. Even if Lady Yestella forgives, we cannot ignore the crime.”
“Yes, Yestella. Your heart is beautiful, but some things must be handled harshly.”
“Ah…”
Yestella smiled brightly at me, pity in her eyes.
“Johan! You came to me!”
A tall man, whose face I could not see, stood beside me.
“As I expected, my faith was right. You will finally accept me as your true wife.”
Yestella looped her arm through the man’s and glanced at me with a look of superiority.
She lifted her plump lips slightly, golden hair fluttering as she turned away.
I woke up with a start.
‘What kind of dream was that?’
My chest felt crushed. I clutched my chest to steady my breathing.
‘Why did Yestella appear in my dream?’
It wasn’t the first time I dreamed of her.
‘But never after leaving Libertan…’
Even dreams in Libertan were different—she would torment me, punish me through the duke and duchess, and I would beg as she wished.
‘Yestella is already dead.’
If she were alive, they wouldn’t have needed to adopt me from Libertan.
I spoke to the trees:
-
I had a really strange dream.
-
What kind of dream?
-
Yestella returned alive and chased me away. Dead people can’t come back…
A bitter smile crossed my lips thinking of her.
-
I lived my whole life trapped in the shadow of the dead Yestella.
-
Child…
-
It’s okay. It doesn’t matter anymore. The Blanchet household sees me as ‘Estelle Libertan,’ not just a ‘target for revenge.’
-
So this really…
I noticed the bandaged ankle.
‘It doesn’t hurt?’
When I unwrapped it, I saw a bruise. When did I hurt it again?
I sighed heavily.
‘This will just cause misunderstandings again.’
I remembered sleeping beside Johan last night.
‘I should ask him what happened.’
Johan barged in, seemingly knowing I had called him.
“Johan. Last night—”
Fresh from washing, wearing only a towel below and drying his wet hair with another.
Broad shoulders, elegant clavicles, toned body. Wet and shining, a decadent form that stirred desire.
‘How can such a man exist?’
Unbelievable. I swallowed instinctively.
“J-Johan. Why didn’t you change your clothes?”
“I didn’t want to be away from you for even a moment.”
Johan shook his hair and smiled faintly.
“Today, I’ll examine you in my lab. Don’t worry; you’re not hurt.”
“Okay.”
I nodded quickly.
“So go change your clothes.”
His perfect body lingered in my vision; reason failed. My eyes involuntarily glanced at the towel-covered lower body.
“I think I should wash too. You can prepare while I do.”
“Ah, right.” Johan nodded, as if he just realized.
“You don’t need to wash. I’ll wash you.”
“What?”
“Then you can just stay as you are.”
Too forward!
“There’s nothing to be shocked about.”
Johan perched on the bed, tilting his head toward me. His damp lips caught my eyes.
“If you want to see, look. It’s fine for you.”
“Why? Why?”
“Because it’s all yours anyway.”
He whispered lazily into my ear.
“I’ll see everything while washing you too.”
My whole body tensed.
‘I should refuse.’
I couldn’t resist his large hand over mine. His warmth ignited my desire.
I swallowed and asked:
“Are you really mine?”
Johan’s red eyes shone with delight.
