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Chapter 44
Duty
Selenia had no sense of identity.
For eight years, all she had done was struggle to survive by adapting to her circumstances.
Now, she couldn’t even define who she was.
So, in that moment, she couldn’t help but laugh.
“…Selly?”
Veneruccia froze.
Of all the reactions she could’ve expected from Selenia, this one wasn’t among them.
“Your Grace, didn’t I tell you before?”
Pride? Did pride guarantee Selenia’s survival?
No.
If she had dared to desire or wield something like pride, her head would have been cut off long ago.
“I told you I would fulfill my duty.”
Selenia smiled.
It was the promise she had made to Veneruccia from the very beginning.
Even now, knowing he loved her, she had no intention of breaking that promise.
After thinking it over, Selenia concluded that the reason Veneruccia loved her was precisely because of the things she had done over the past eight years:
Watching over him so attentively that it was clear she loved him, even without saying it.
Not being jealous, no matter who he got involved with.
Staying within the boundaries he allowed her, never overstepping.
And yet, never once saying she loved him.
She believed all of that was why he came to love her.
So she would continue to keep doing those things.
After everything she had been through to get here…
She couldn’t let it fall apart now.
“I’m not foolish enough to interfere with a reunion between two people who haven’t met in so long, just for the sake of buying a dress.”
So Selenia spoke politely with her eyes lowered.
Truly, there wasn’t even a trace of jealousy or wounded pride in her tone.
Because Selenia had no pride.
That’s how she survived.
“…Why are you saying that?”
But Veneruccia felt like he couldn’t breathe.
Interfere?
That single word revealed how Selenia perceived the situation.
Right now, she truly didn’t see herself as someone important.
Creaaak.
It was as if he could hear something grinding out of place in his head.
That’s when Veneruccia realized something was deeply, terribly wrong.
He couldn’t pinpoint exactly what—but this wasn’t right.
“You’re the one I made plans with, Selly. You should be the priority.”
He completely forgot his anger as he grabbed her shoulders and turned her toward him.
And then, he suddenly noticed the red mark on her wrist—left by his own grip.
“If you’re hurt, you should tell me… No—forget it. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
Veneruccia quickly examined her wrist, flustered.
He was rarely so incoherent.
To Selenia, it seemed like just a faint red mark. But he was acting like he had broken her wrist.
And the red was already starting to fade, since he hadn’t even grabbed her that hard.
“Let’s go to the priest, right now.”
Still, Veneruccia gently wrapped his arm around her shoulder and guided her with extreme care.
He had become a swordmaster at a young age, lived on the battlefield, and was always a knight.
Having always maintained composure, he wasn’t the type to get emotional like this.
Which is why he often forgot how delicate normal people could be.
To him, their rate of recovery looked far too slow.
And Selenia—she never showed even the most serious symptoms, like her difficulty breathing.
Because she didn’t know how to express her pain, he should’ve been more careful.
Veneruccia berated himself for his carelessness.
“I’m really fine…”
Selenia quickly grabbed his arm.
The redness had completely faded—what was the point in calling a priest?
But her words were cut off.
By Lucalina.
“…Ben, what are you doing?”
Lucalina was shocked by Veneruccia’s behavior.
She had trained with him since childhood, wielded swords together.
He had always respected her as a fellow knight—never treated her delicately.
So this side of Veneruccia, the way he was treating Selenia now, was something even Lucalina had never seen.
“Luna, this isn’t the time. Selly, let’s see the priest—”
“Ben!”
Lucalina raised her voice and forcibly turned him around.
Selenia was bewildered by the situation.
All this fuss over a slightly reddened wrist? She never imagined Veneruccia would act this way in front of Lucalina.
Lucalina felt the same.
“I came back after 11 years. We haven’t even had a proper conversation. Do you really have to be this cold to me?”
Lucalina looked genuinely hurt.
That made Veneruccia falter.
Eleven years.
That time had bound him like chains.
If Lucalina hadn’t stood by him back then, Clifford wouldn’t have sent her to the battlefield.
And she wouldn’t have had to remain there for 11 years.
Thinking that, he couldn’t shake off her hand.
Selenia, watching it all, stayed calm.
Because she knew better than anyone what Lucalina meant to Veneruccia.
“I still love you, Ben.”
If not for that confession, Selenia might have stayed composed until the end.
But the moment she heard those words, forgotten memories came rushing back.
That was the line Lucalina was supposed to say to Veneruccia at the Elian Marquis’s ball.
“Selly!”
Selenia couldn’t take it.
She turned around and ran to the carriage.
Again—again, the original story had gone off track.
The more she tried to fix it…
The faster it progressed.
As if mocking her every struggle.
“Wait, Selly! Please—wait!”
Veneruccia reached out.
But maybe because of what had just happened, there was no strength in his grip.
So she easily shook him off.
She did it so urgently that she stumbled, nearly falling.
If he hadn’t quickly grabbed her by the waist, she might have fallen from the carriage step.
“I need to go back.”
Selenia didn’t look at him.
She didn’t even realize he had left Lucalina to chase after her.
She just wanted to escape this wretched situation the story had forced her into.
“Selly, let’s calm down and talk—”
“No.”
She pushed him away.
“I have to go back.”
Her voice was resolute, unwavering.
Clunk.
Stunned by her firmness, Veneruccia stepped back from the carriage.
And the door closed.
The carriage departed.
He stood there for a long time, face stiff, watching it go.
But it didn’t stop.
It didn’t return.
Clatter, clatter.
The horses’ hooves pounded down the street noisily—as if the driver had been told to hurry.
Even after the carriage disappeared around a corner, Veneruccia stood there, jaw clenched.
“Ben.”
Had Lucalina not called out to him, he might have stayed rooted there like a statue.
He slowly turned toward her.
The moment their eyes met, Lucalina flinched without meaning to.
Because the way he looked at her… she had never seen that look before.
Cold. So cold.
Lucalina had never received such a gaze—but she knew when he wore it.
It was when someone who stood outside his boundaries dared to cross the line.
That was the exact moment he looked like this.
“Ben!”
Lucalina raised her voice, as if to reject his expression.
That snapped him out of it.
He looked at her with clearer eyes.
And then let out a deep sigh.
“Conversation… fine. Let’s talk.”
Lucalina wasn’t clueless—she could tell.
At the very least, this conversation wasn’t one Veneruccia was eager to have.
A strange unease filled her chest.
Still, after finally getting the chance to speak with him, she couldn’t afford to waste it.
So Veneruccia and Lucalina headed to a tea room—somewhere they wouldn’t be overheard.
As the waitress led them to a private room, he didn’t say a single word.
Her anxiety only grew stronger.
So as soon as they sat down, Lucalina hurried to speak first.
But Veneruccia, sensing that, deliberately spoke before she could.
“Luna.”
“Y-Yes…?”
All day long, Veneruccia had acted in ways Lucalina had never experienced.
She couldn’t help but stammer.
Of course he noticed her tension.
But he continued anyway.
“I know you wasted 11 years on the battlefield because of me. And I truly am sorry. While you were suffering there, I did nothing—and that alone is enough to make me guilty.”
Had Veneruccia done anything to help her, Clifford would’ve immediately killed her.
Eliminating someone on the battlefield was far easier than dealing with his own flesh and blood.
Still, Veneruccia didn’t consider that an excuse.
He was guilty toward Lucalina.
But…
He couldn’t let himself lose Selenia like that again.
