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Chapter 22
“This isn’t bad. But isn’t it way too suspicious? Thinking about it like that, standing in front of an imperial judge one day doesn’t seem so bad.”
“…That’s a terrible thing to say.”
There wasn’t a more spine-chilling sound than that.
As I glared at him and shivered slightly, he smiled innocently and replied.
“Thinking it over, becoming the duke’s adopted son doesn’t sound great anymore.”
He suddenly pushed a Mont Blanc dessert toward my mouth.
Then said,
“Becoming family this way is something I’ll decline.”
“Same here, I decline. Hand it over. I’ll eat yours too.”
I tried to snatch the Mont Blanc in front of Kissel with narrowed eyes, but failed.
“I’m already satisfied with how things are.”
“Well, I’m not satisfied with my Mont Blanc being in your hands.”
He scooped up a bite with a fork and held it in front of my face.
“If it weren’t for you, I’d never have escaped from the baron’s house.”
I took a bite and opened my eyes wide.
The deep chestnut paste and perfectly baked crispy meringue, on a whole different level than anything from the castle, began dancing together in my mouth.
But then, I realized what Kissel had said and had to close my half-open mouth.
‘He acted like he forgot everything that happened at the baron’s estate…’
Seems he didn’t forget a single thing.
Kissel’s father had once been my father’s aide.
For reference, he wasn’t treated well at the baron’s house.
I couldn’t save my own life, but I could save his.
That’s why I kept Kissel by my side.
[You gave me all the happiness I have. So I’ll live for your happiness.]
I looked up.
The Kissel before me overlapped with the young Kissel in my memories.
[When are you happy, My Lady?]
What had I answered to that question back then? I couldn’t quite remember anymore.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I was just missing the younger you.”
“…That’s so random, isn’t it?”
“You were small and cute.”
“I was probably taller than you even back then.”
“Give me back my small, cute Kissel. You’re too big now.”
Muttering playfully, I looked outside.
“Well, I did grow—there’s about a foot difference between you and me.”
“If you didn’t have a head, we’d be about the same height. Want me to take it off?”
“Still taller than you… ugh.”
Kissel, after getting smacked by me, turned to look at the view I had been watching.
The mood grew quiet for a moment.
Kissel slightly parted his lips.
“I want to return to the duchy with you as soon as possible.”
He poked the Mont Blanc with his fork.
“Now that you’re free, we can go anytime.”
“…”
“And you’ve got what you most desired, too.”
What I most desired?
A strange thought sprouted in my mind.
As I looked at him with a puzzled face, Kissel, propping his chin on his hand, asked with a sour look:
“…Don’t tell me becoming a duke wasn’t your goal?”
“Huh? Uh… well, it was—for now.”
“For now?”
I covered my mouth with both hands and shut it tight.
“What do you mean, ‘for now’? Are you saying there’s something else besides returning to the duchy and enjoying a peaceful life as a duke?”
From that single line, I could see what kind of paradise Kissel had envisioned in his head.
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Yeah, living with you like that and managing the territory doesn’t sound so bad.”
“Then…”
“But don’t you think we’d die eventually like that?”
“What?”
I sank deep into the chair, realizing I hadn’t told him the most important part.
“The emperor doesn’t like me.”
“…”
“Even if it’s not the emperor, there are tons of people who’d love to kill me.”
One of them being those cadet family members who just tried—and failed—to take the dukedom from me.
“Kissel.”
I finished the last bite of the Mont Blanc.
“I never wanted the dukedom itself.”
I twirled the fork in my hand.
What I wanted was…
“I just…”
To survive.
“I wanted the duke’s power.”
If I failed to fulfill my wish, I’d return to the past—and that meant death.
Kissel’s gaze turned cold.
“I have to do twice as well as everyone else. I need to gain even more power.”
He let out a sigh and rested his forehead on my hand.
“I guess… it’s to protect you, isn’t it?”
His eyes narrowed.
Where’d you learn to look at someone like that?
I wasn’t going to climb a sandcastle, but a mountain built of gems and gold.
“I’ll get power, Kissel.”
Knock, knock, knock.
Someone knocked on the door.
“So no one dares touch someone so precious to me.”
I gently pressed down on Kissel’s shoulder to stop him from standing and approached the door.
When I turned the doorknob, the heavy door opened smoothly without a sound, and cold air rushed in.
“No matter how many arrows fly at me…”
As I looked at the tall man slowly entering the room, I smiled.
“I’ll protect you, Kissel.”
The man approaching bowed lightly.
A soft floral scent drifted over.
Ilia Adin.
A cadet noble, and the only one I interacted with since childhood.
“I came because you called.”
A man who would become my ally.
“You’ve grown a lot, little lady.”
He locked eyes with me after a long time apart.
Ilia Adin.
When I look back on my past, all my memories are filled with Kissel.
If I were to add just one other person into those memories full of Kissel, it would be him.
The one who stayed by my side in childhood.
That was Ilia.
‘He was one of the cadet family who visited the duchy most often. We saw each other from time to time.’
He was the only one my father didn’t stop me from meeting.
We didn’t see each other often—but occasionally, very occasionally.
Then he left to study abroad and completely vanished from my life.
“So I heard you became a count.”
Including the time after returning to the past, it had been nearly several years since I last saw him.
And now, here he was before me.
“Congratulations.”
“Hearing praise from the little girl who used to whine all the time… time really does pass.”
There was no awkwardness at all.
In fact, he hadn’t changed a bit—so much so that even the little tension I had completely melted away.
“It’s been five years? You’ve grown so much I barely recognized you.”
He ruffled my hair.
As I narrowed my eyes at him, Ilia laughed loudly and messed up the hair Kissel had spent half an hour fixing.
He never could stand seeing me looking neat.
He’d always mess up my hair, pinch my cheeks, poke me… it was chaos.
“Oppa, want to just go back? I think I called the wrong person. Here, take your coat.”
“Oh? Should I really leave?”
I grabbed his sleeve as he started to get up and dragged him back.
I could feel him stifling laughter behind me, letting himself be dragged along.
“I never thought I’d live to the day where I’d ask you for help.”
“Don’t be like that, Inerea. I drove over five hours to see you.”
Grumbling about his aching shoulders, he started massaging them.
There was a time when I thought Ilia was someone who only followed his own desires.
Someone who didn’t care about inheriting the family, always ready to leave.
“I’ll get straight to the point. Become the duke’s retainer.”
But now, I admit—just a little—that I had poor judgment in reading people.
“So the Duke of Mertiel is really focusing on expanding his faction, huh? Guess that rumor was true.”
“If you heard that, why didn’t you just come to me?”
He tilted his head, obscuring his face with his hand, so I couldn’t see his expression.
“Well, I thought you’d hate it if I did.”
What is he talking about now?
“Don’t you remember yelling at me never to come back?”
Right—I’d completely forgotten that incident after my regression, and now he’s digging it up?
“That was just…”
“Just?”
I covered my face like he had done earlier.
It was too embarrassing to say out loud.
“You suddenly said you were going abroad, so I…”
He reached out and ruffled my hair again.
I glared, and he just shrugged and laughed instead of answering.
He had such a free spirit, I never thought he’d even care about something I’d said.
“I know it was something said in childish anger.”
“You say that, but I’d never seen you yell like that before.”
He always had a talent for reading people’s emotions, yet he took my childish tantrum so literally.
“Let it go. I was young back then, too.”
Young, huh? When he left to study, he was already basically an adult.
“So? Are you going to do it or not—become a retainer of the duke?”
He idly stirred his untouched tea with a teaspoon and answered lazily.
“Sure, why not.”
“Great, then… wait, really? You will?”
“I’ll do it—become your retainer.”
I expected him to name some condition, or say he needed time to think.
But instead…
“There’s no downside for me anyway.”
