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Chapter 2
Left alone, El turned off the last light and stepped out of the office. As she walked through the empty hallway, heading back to her room, sudden pain halted her steps.
It was the kind of pain that sometimes struck with such force that even she, a knight, couldn’t move. El quickly leaned against the wall, her body unable to support her.
‘Just when I thought I’d forgotten it, it comes again.’
She pulled out the pill case she always carried, only to find it empty.
Swallowing a curse that rose in her throat, she forced herself to walk again, each step a struggle. Her vision blurred from the ongoing pain, and she braced herself against the wall, heading somewhere—anywhere.
‘At least… it didn’t happen in front of His Majesty.’
Clinging to that small relief, El found herself in front of a door. Though it was late at night, light seeped out from under it.
As she pushed the door open and stumbled inside, the familiar scent of herbal candles enveloped her. But she had no time to notice.
The palace physician inside looked up in surprise at the sudden entrance. Recognizing her, he rushed over to support her and guided her to a chair.
As if used to this situation, he pulled medicine from a drawer and offered her a glass of water. Without hesitation, El swallowed the pill in one gulp.
Soon, the medicine began to take effect. As the pain subsided, her vision cleared. She finally let out a breath and wiped the cold sweat from her forehead—when a chiding voice scolded her.
“Foolish as ever.”
“And yet, you’re the one who always keeps the medicine ready, Wontil-nim.”
“Don’t mistake me for a physician who neglects his patients.”
The pain seemed forgotten already, as El looked at Wontil with a relaxed expression. The warmth between them was unmistakable.
Wontil, a physician who had served in the imperial palace long enough to have silver in his hair, was the only person who knew El’s hidden secret.
“You saved me. Thank you. I ran out of medicine unexpectedly.”
“I figured you would by now, so I had more prepared.”
“Of course you did. No one else is like you, Wontil-nim.”
Though she smiled gratefully, the scolding tone was gone, and Wontil’s eyes had grown serious.
His concern for her was written all over his face.
“The intervals between the pain are getting shorter, and you’re needing more of the drug. If this keeps up…”
“I know. I know what condition I’m in.”
“And you still go on like this? A knight protecting His Majesty with that body—what nonsense.”
“I’m sorry.”
Wontil pleaded with her again, though he knew it was useless. Just this once—please listen.
“You could die, El. Any day now. So take a break. Stop working so late.”
“You really are the only one who worries about me, Wontil-nim.”
“Stop changing the subject.”
Seeing that he wouldn’t stop worrying, El gave him an even brighter smile.
“Once this mission is over, I plan to tell His Majesty. That I want to take some time off.”
“You still won’t tell him what’s wrong. And when he eventually finds out?”
Wontil looked at El with sorrow. He knew why she was so desperate to hide it, and that only deepened his heartache.
“As long as you don’t say anything, no one will know. And even if they do, someone else can take my place. And… Lady Chenil is at His Majesty’s side. It’ll be fine. For someone like me, an orphan, this position has always been more than I deserved. It’s all thanks to His Majesty.”
As always, the conversation ended with gratitude toward Terban. Wontil could only shake his head in resignation.
He knew El well enough to understand she wouldn’t change her mind easily. So he gave in, though unwillingly.
“You’ve served His Majesty well. For a long time. He trusts you enough to entrust you with confidential matters even his aide doesn’t know. That’s why your workload keeps increasing.”
“Well, if I disappear, His Majesty will forget me quickly. There are plenty of capable people around.”
‘Tsk. She’s always so harsh on herself.’
Wontil held back the comment and instead handed her another dose of medicine with a sigh, reminding her once more:
“I told you last time—this is only a painkiller. You know that, right?”
“Yes, I know. Don’t worry. I won’t make you worry more than you already do.”
El smiled to reassure him and left his room. But Wontil still couldn’t rest easy.
He had watched her from the moment she entered the palace, and he knew why she stayed at the emperor’s side, even at the cost of her life.
‘You have to let go of that feeling if you want to live, El.’
But, as always, his words never reached her.
No matter how much El tried to hide her condition, some situations were unavoidable—especially for a knight.
With a sharp clang, her sword clattered to the ground, and in the same instant, a blade pressed against her neck, close enough to slice.
She looked from the sword to the man holding it, then raised her hands in surrender.
“I yield, Your Majesty.”
At her surrender, the blade was immediately withdrawn. She picked up her fallen sword and offered a respectful bow.
But the response that came wasn’t a strike—it was sharper: Terban’s voice.
“You’ve been neglecting your training, haven’t you, Sir El?”
El simply lowered her head without excuse. Since her symptoms had worsened, she couldn’t perform at her previous level.
She’d tried hard not to show it, but there was no fooling Terban’s eyes.
“My apologies, Your Majesty.”
Her sincere bow lessened the sharpness in his tone.
“What is a knight’s foundation?”
“The sword.”
Her answer came without hesitation, and Terban decided to let it go—for now. But he didn’t plan to overlook it entirely.
“Sir El, continue your training before returning. That concludes today’s session.”
With that, Terban turned and left the training grounds. Only then did the other knights rush over to El’s side.
They were the emperor’s personal guards—and El was their commander. To her, who had no family, they were a precious one.
“You okay, El?”
“Yeah. Besides, I did mess up.”
“Still, he didn’t have to be so harsh. You’ve been so busy lately—and it was His Majesty who assigned you all that work.”
El felt both grateful and guilty for her comrades’ concern.
“We’ll tell him we stayed behind to train. He won’t know.”
Even as they coaxed her, El stood firm. Smiling, she pushed them toward the exit.
“It’s fine. I wanted to move around a bit anyway.”
“Yeah, like anyone could stop you. Stubborn as ever.”
“Just don’t overdo it, okay?”
As they walked off, one person stayed behind.
A man with short navy hair and gray eyes stood watching her silently.
“You too, go on. Bandel.”
“I’ll wait. Or join you, if you’d like.”
“No need. And as your commander, that’s an order.”
“Yeah, as if that works on me.”
Their casual banter showed how close they were. Bandel, vice-captain of the imperial knights and her longtime friend, had been with her through everything.
To El, who had no family, he felt like a little brother—one who had grown far too tall.
“Go on, you’re tired too after training today.”
She ruffled his hair—though now he towered over her.
“Didn’t I tell you to stop that? I’m not a kid anymore.”
“Right? That little boy who used to challenge me is all grown up.”
“Let’s not bring up the past.”
Having known her so long, Bandel noticed something was off.
“You know you were really off today, right? You moved differently. Are you sick?”
“No, just busy lately. Once this is over, I’ll get some rest.”
“Please do. You’re even covering work meant for the aide now.”
He knew she had no choice when the emperor gave orders, but watching her wear down daily pained him. Seeing his worried face, El gave him a firm push.
“I said I got it. Now go.”
“Just don’t overdo it, okay? It’s late.”
With a final warning, Bandel reluctantly left the training ground. Alone, El exhaled deeply and glanced around.
Then she picked up her sword and slowly began to move. She still couldn’t reject Terban’s words.
‘This path is the only way I can stay by His Majesty’s side.’
“Though… that too will end soon.”
As she moved without pause, the twilight sky darkened to night. Her face was drenched in sweat, and her breath came in ragged gasps.
‘Can’t… be this exhausted already.’
Kneeling, drained of strength, she tried to catch her breath—when a hand reached out to her. A strong, large hand, far bigger than hers.
She looked up—and met a pair of brilliant blue eyes that shone even in the dark.
