IMT 09

Chapter 09

It was noon.

I was finally enjoying a bit of freedom when Countess Retel came to visit me.

She pushed in a three-tier serving cart, left it near the entrance, then walked over to me. Lowering herself beside the bed, she asked,

“I heard there was a terrible incident after I returned home yesterday. I only found out afterward, and I was so shocked. Lady Rin, are you feeling any better now?”

Resting both hands on the bed, Countess Retel looked at me carefully. The concern in her eyes was warm.

She was undoubtedly the person Mikhail had assigned to keep an eye on me, but she was genuinely kind. She felt like an aunt or an older sister much older than me.

“Yes, thanks to everyone. But Countess… aren’t you surprised by how I look?”

At my question, Countess Retel smiled and shook her head.

“I had already noticed that you were deliberately changing your appearance. I secretly found out what cream and potion you were using.”

“Oh, I see.”

“But I never mentioned it to His Majesty. I felt I understood why you were going to all that trouble. It was because of Joshua, wasn’t it?”

It felt strange.

I had never done it because I wanted anyone’s approval, and yet somehow I still felt pleased.

“Yes. But I don’t need to do it anymore, so I’m going to stop.”

“I think you’ve made the right decision. You are much more beautiful like this, Lady Rin.”

“Thank you, Countess.”

“It’s nothing. Ah, that’s right.”

Half-turning, Countess Retel pointed toward the cart she had left by the entrance.

“I brought you some food. You must be very hungry.”

She quickly stood and wheeled the cart over. Stopping it beside my bed, she placed a tray of food onto my lap with a satisfied smile.

“His Majesty personally sent this for you.”

Unlike her pleased expression, the food on the tray was pitiful.

What was this?

I had actually been looking forward to it when she said it came from the Emperor.

On the tray sat a single bowl of soup that looked as though a piece of meat had merely swum through it before escaping, along with two white bread rolls about the size of my fist.

This wasn’t bird feed, was it?

Oblivious to the way I was staring at the tray, Countess Retel continued chatting away.

“His Majesty has been terribly worried about you, Lady Rin. Please eat well and recover quickly, all right?”

As if there was enough here to eat.

I gave the tray another doubtful glance before answering.

“I will. I’ll eat well and regain my strength. Thank you for bringing it.”

“Eat it before it gets cold.”

She placed a spoon and a damp towel on the tray, smiling brightly.

“His Majesty said that since Lady Rin won’t be able to go out anymore, I should make sure you never miss a meal. Isn’t he wonderfully considerate?”

Supporting one cheek with her hand, she gazed dreamily into the air.

The faint sigh she let out made her look like a young girl in love with her first crush. She had cared for Mikhail for many years, so it seemed her affection for him was exceptional.

While she drifted away in whatever fantasies occupied her mind, I looked down at the food.

Seeing it only made me sigh harder.

Who was this supposed to fill?

“Although it looks rather plain, it’s packed with ingredients that are excellent for your body. Juice from the sapoison tree berries, Redinar root…”

As Countess Retel explained each ingredient one by one, I finally understood why the soup looked like this.

It wasn’t that meat had merely swum through it.

The soup was made entirely of greens! Greens! Nothing but greens!

Meat! Give me meat!

If they didn’t want to add meat, couldn’t they at least have put in some milk?

How was anyone supposed to eat this?

Just looking at the brownish soup, I could already imagine the taste.

Probably like herbal medicine.

No, perhaps even worse.

This was exactly why I had told the head steward that I would handle my own meals.

I preferred eating hearty portions.

Not just me—everyone in the Vivace royal family did.

The soup bowls served at the Vivace royal table were about three times this size, and even the bread was as large as both my hands spread wide.

There were always at least two steaks on the plate, and roasted vegetables or salad piled high as side dishes.

People in Creras, on the other hand, preferred eating lightly.

When I had first arrived at the Imperial Palace, I had nearly fainted after seeing the meals Countess Retel brought.

How did people survive on food like this?

At first I had thought, Well, I’m in Creras now. I should try adapting.

So I ate what I was given.

After only three days, I gave up.

Throughout those three days of living on Creras-style meals, I was constantly hungry. I suffered from dizziness and ringing in my ears.

Eventually I decided I couldn’t go on like that.

I refused the meals brought by the head steward and Countess Retel, asking instead for the meal allowance that had been allocated to me.

My excuse was a chronic illness.

I claimed I had to carefully manage my diet because of it.

I had worried they would object, but surprisingly, they approved almost immediately.

I guessed it was because of the Shadows assigned to watch me.

To people like them, dealing with someone like me was probably easier than chewing gum they’d already spat out.

Every day after dutifully finishing my responsibilities as Empress, I would go out and use that money to buy the food commoners ate.

With the same amount of money, I could buy more than ten times the amount of food I would receive at the palace.

I spent every bit of my free time solving my food problem.

For breakfast and lunch, I usually ate bread, ham, and drinks that I had bought the previous day.

For dinner, I rented a room at an inn and filled myself with a lavish meal.

That was how I had barely managed to satisfy my stomach.

And now I was back to this.

There was no helping it.

I’d have to eat it.

After all, it wasn’t anyone else’s fault that I had collapsed last night and hadn’t been able to go out.

I quickly began spooning the soup into my mouth.

I hoped it would at least help.

Instead of satisfying my hunger, however, it only made me even hungrier.

I tore apart the bread and stuffed it into my mouth, but it was nowhere near enough.

Putting on my most pitiful expression, I looked at Countess Retel.

Maybe there was something else to eat?

“Oh my, you’ve already finished everything? It was delicious, wasn’t it? The chef who prepares His Majesty’s meals made it personally.”

Countess Retel looked eager to emphasize who had cooked it.

What mattered to me, however, was the quantity.

I’m hungry.

Before the thought had even finished crossing my mind—

Grrr…

My empty stomach let out a loud protest.

Hearing it, Countess Retel’s eyes widened before she smiled gently.

“It seems it wasn’t enough. Well, you haven’t eaten anything since yesterday’s lunch, have you? Just a moment. I brought something else.”

She cleared away the empty tray and took something from the second shelf of the cart, placing it before me.

A plate of colorful pastries.

Two mugs.

And a teacup.

The pastry plate was filled with beautiful bite-sized treats: little tarts, financiers, macarons, madeleines, éclairs, and canelés.

“I wasn’t sure what you’d like, so I brought one of everything. I also brought tea, hot chocolate, and milk.”

I immediately gave Countess Retel a thumbs-up.

As expected of Lady Retel!

Completely different from someone who thought one watery bowl of soup and two bread rolls counted as a meal.

Tilting her head, she asked,

“What does that gesture mean?”

“It means you’re the best. In my homeland, we do this to someone who’s the best.”

“Oh, I see.”

Awkwardly, Countess Retel copied the gesture with her own thumb before covering her cheek with one hand and smiling happily.

“Thank you, Lady Rin. I’m glad you think so highly of me.”

Smiling back, I turned my attention to the pastries.

Just as I picked up a beautiful financier covered with almond slices and was about to take a bite—

Someone knocked on the door.

“I’ll go see who it is.”

Watching Countess Retel head toward the door, I quickly bit into the financier.

It looked too large to eat in one bite, so I only took half.

I regretted it immediately.

The crisp exterior.

The moist center.

The rich butter filling my mouth together with the almonds.

It tasted absolutely heavenly.

Not wanting to waste even another second holding it, I opened my mouth to eat the remaining half.

Then—

“Lady Rin, you need to come outside.”

Countess Retel hurried back after checking who had arrived.

The financier seemed to be silently asking why I wasn’t eating it already, but to answer her, I first had to lower my hand.

“What happened?”

I tried to eat the rest of the financier while waiting for her reply.

But before she could answer, the visitor burst through the open door, ran across the room, climbed onto the chair beside my bed—

And jumped.

Crash!

Something shattered.

Then—

Thump.

The tiny visitor landed on top of me and threw their arms around my neck.

“H-Huh?”

I blinked.

The almond financier.

The fig madeleine.

The vanilla macaron.

The blueberry tart.

The raspberry cream éclair.

The Earl Grey canelé.

All of them had been crushed beyond recognition across the floor.

Together with broken pieces of dishes and spilled drinks.

What just happened?

Trying to piece together what had happened, I stared blankly at the mess.

One leg of the overturned chair rested on the edge of the blanket that had been dragged halfway off the bed.

Had the chair been shoved backward during the jump, pulling the blanket with it?

Only after roughly understanding the situation did I finally speak to the small figure clinging tightly around my neck.

“Joshua?”

At my call, the child loosened his grip and looked up at me.

Curly black hair that covered his ears.

Black eyes that gleamed like obsidian.

Ivory-white skin.

The one who had interrupted my meal was Mikhail’s son, whose appearance was almost identical to Eunsoo’s.

“Mama.”

I silently looked down at Joshua.

He stared back without the slightest hesitation.

My reflection shimmered in his eyes.

Faded silver hair.

Pale skin.

A face completely different from the “Mama” Joshua had always known.

And yet…

He still called me Mama?

As my eyes widened, Joshua buried his face against my chest and rubbed his cheek against me.

“Mama, why didn’t you come see Joshua? Joshua missed Mama.”

I tilted my head.

Couldn’t he tell that my appearance had changed?

More importantly, Eunsoo had already returned.

Shouldn’t he be with her instead?

Could it be…

Had Eunsoo still not gone to see her own child?

Judging by Joshua’s reaction, that certainly seemed to be the case.

She had been back in the Empire for several days already!

If it were me, I would have rushed to see the child I had given birth to before doing anything else.

It wasn’t as though Mikhail would stop her from seeing her own son.

Then what possible reason could there be?

“Mama?”

Joshua’s voice snapped me back to reality.

He had lifted his head from my chest and was gazing up at me.

His eyes were filled with eager expectation.

From Joshua’s perspective, it made sense.

He had lost his mother before he was even one year old.

For the past three years, I had been the one beside him.

Naturally, I was more familiar to him.

But I wasn’t his real mother.

And I would soon be leaving the Imperial Palace.

Besides, although he had never said it directly, Mikhail clearly disliked the idea of me continuing to imitate Eunsoo and confusing everyone.

“When you come to dinner tonight, I’d like you to come looking exactly like this. I’ll also have suitable clothes sent over.”

What else could those words mean?

He was telling me not to alter my appearance to resemble Eunsoo anymore.

Not to act like her anymore.

His child’s real mother needed the chance to rebuild her relationship with her son.

Someone like me—

Not even a stepmother, just a temporary contract stand-in pretending to be his mother—

Had no right to stay between them.

It hurt, but letting go was the right thing to do.

I quickly pried Joshua away from me and held him out toward Countess Retel.

“Countess, please take this child to Her Majesty the Empress.”