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Chapter 55
Yoonjae picked up the ring that had fallen on the living room floor and stood there, lost in thought for a while.
It was a tiny ring, barely fitting on his little finger.
“……”
Holding it in the palm of his hand, so light that it barely felt like it had any weight, he recalled old memories.
[How long are you going to live alone?]
[You should go when there’s someone good. Will you stay alone all your life, missing your chance?]
[That person is good. There’s no one like them.]
[You need to live your own life too. While you’re young, while it counts.]
He vaguely remembered the scene from that day.
A dresser covering moldy wallpaper. Yellowed linoleum with scorched marks. Furniture that had been there for as long as he could remember.
Amid the sparse recollections, Yoonjae closed his wide-awake eyes.
It was probably long past midnight.
On the other side of a thin sliding door, adults sitting in the living room raised their voices, thinking Yoonjae had fallen asleep.
[You have to settle down for the sake of the child. If you starve again like before and end up in the hospital…]
At the lengthening conversation, Yoonjae opened his eyes.
His eyes, sharp enough to understand conversations he didn’t need to, were calm beyond his years.
It was a story he had heard countless times before.
The woman talking now had said similar things to him when his mother wasn’t around.
[You have to let your mother go.]
It was meddling from a nosy woman, but not wrong.
A single mother.
A poor woman raising a child alone at a young age.
Yoonjae closed his eyes slowly again. As the one who bore the sacrifice, he had nothing to say.
And three days later, when Yoonjae returned from school, he found the house empty.
That was when he understood.
Even a child could see that leaving behind a burden like him to start anew was the right choice.
So he didn’t search. Like always, he just put down his bag, opened his books, and started his homework.
Yesterday like today.
Today like tomorrow.
She left to find a better path for herself, and it was only right not to cling to her departure.
“……”
He knew this.
But the first emotion he felt seeing the abandoned ring in the unchanged situation was not calm.
His pupils trembled.
They dilated, and his breath grew slightly heavier.
From the dizzying interior of the house, the single abandoned ring offered no clue.
He knew.
He knew how rash he was being. But the moment he saw the ring—meant for her hand—discarded, he could not stay like before.
Not now.
She cannot be. He cannot let her go.
He grabbed the ring, which he had never held before, and turned around.
His heart pounded fiercely.
His heart had always raced like this for one person.
His decision was faster than thought, making deliberation meaningless.
The usual rational judgment he relied on was gone. Only instinct moved him, following the urge to act immediately.
Even forgetting that he had been drinking, gripping the car keys and blindly returning the path he had come, Yoonjae remained utterly reckless until he stepped into the elevator.
He had to find her.
He had to catch her.
By any means.
The result of this first-ever impulsive act revealed itself surprisingly quickly.
“……Earlier.”
As soon as the elevator doors opened, a voice stopped Yoonjae in his tracks.
Her eyes widened in surprise at seeing him.
“Ah.”
Her brief voice cracked, and she instinctively stepped back, but Yoonjae quickly closed the gap.
“No, wait.”
She reached out in panic, stepping away, when he caught a scent at her nose.
A foreign, unfamiliar scent.
‘Smell of alcohol.’
Seeing the car keys in his hand, her eyes froze in place.
Car keys… parking lot.
Their gazes sharpened.
“You’re planning to drive? After drinking?”
“……”
“Seriously crazy.”
Only then did Yoonjae remember he had been drinking.
It was a reckless mistake—but he had briefly lost his mind.
“You’re not in your right mind, are you? Drinking and driving? Where did you even drink?”
The absurdity of it made them forget their usual desire not to clash.
“Go inside right now.”
She pushed Yoonjae into the elevator, blazing with fury.
“Is your drinking always like this? Has this ever happened before? This is insane. I can’t believe it. Are you always like this?”
Her usual scolding poured out, as if weeks of silence never happened.
Clearly, she was genuinely disappointed.
Faced with her fierce gaze, Yoonjae replied calmly.
“Never happened before. I just forgot for a moment.”
“……Forgot? Forgot?”
Her face contorted in disbelief.
“Huh! The worst offenders always give excuses like that. I should really catch them and pull their hair out. And now, someone like that is in my house.”
Her shoulders puffed indignantly, still lively as ever.
Yoonjae exhaled in relief unconsciously.
She was still here. She hadn’t run away or disappeared.
“Come in!”
Inside, she scolded him firmly.
“How can someone forget they drank? Does that make sense? Come on. What did you even drink for? Did a fire break out or something?”
She questioned Yoonjae’s incomprehensible mistake relentlessly.
Unable to meet her gaze fully for a while, he slowly spoke, as if releasing the tension in his throat.
“I thought you might have run away.”
Of course, that wasn’t the right answer now.
“What did you say?”
Her tightly crossed arms loosened slightly at his strange reply.
Tilting her head, she hesitated, and Yoonjae extended the hand he had been holding.
“……”
In his palm was the ring.
The ring he had idly fidgeted with and dropped. Seeing their shaken gaze, Yoonjae continued.
“I was thinking where to go to get it back.”
They both inhaled sharply, realizing their situation again.
She removed her crossed arms and turned her head slightly.
“If it ran away, it ran away. You’re not some runaway teenager, what are you going to catch…?”
“Does it sound like a joke?”
Shiver.
Yoonjae’s voice, usually calm, fell low.
Their spines tingled, and they quickly opened their dry lips.
“Something happened. Miss Kim’s daughter got hurt…”
“I don’t care.”
Cold and blunt.
Never before had he spoken so coldly about Miss Kim.
Slightly startled, she looked back as he reached out.
“I’m back now.”
Yoonjae, drawing his own conclusion, took her hand in his.
“What are you doing all of a sudden?”
Surprised, she tried to pull away, but it was useless.
The harder she pulled, the stronger his grip became.
“Ah…….”
The pain in her skin made her cry out, but her arm didn’t free itself.
Yoonjae stared at her sleeve without blinking.
It happened to be the spot stained with blood.
Apparently picked up at the hospital. She covered the stain with her other hand.
“This is—”
“What did you do?”
A voice icy to the core.
She twisted her wrist, as his grip only grew stronger, her voice firm.
“Let go and talk first.”
“Answer me first.”
His piercing gaze carried accusation.
Their heart surged with emotion.
The reason he was so emotional became painfully clear.
“Why? Because it looks like I did it myself?”
Afraid that Juae-jeong might be hurt.
It was a natural reaction, yet it stung with jealousy.
‘Of course.’
He cares about Juae-jeong.
It’s natural to worry about someone you like, just as she had felt moments ago.
Only, she was not the one he cared for.
They clawed at the hand that held their wrist, trying to free themselves.
“No need to worry. It’s not my blood. And I hate you acting recklessly like this. Let go, now—”
“Look at me.”
“Don’t you hear me? Let go!”
“Look.”
“I said I don’t want to!”
They didn’t know why they were so angry and frustrated.
Simply being looked at and cared for by Yoonjae sparked unbearable jealousy.
She pushed and struck him in desperation. Yoonjae endured every blow.
“Why… why…”
Their strength drained, and despair swept in.
“Show me.”
His tenderness wasn’t hers, leaving only emptiness.
When the dull gaze softened, and his grip eased, she realized her emotions clearly.
What rose from deep inside her was:
“It was going to be discarded anyway. That’s why I treated it carelessly.”
Pure jealousy.
‘What am I even?’
The jealousy she felt in Yoonjae’s affectionate eyes couldn’t be eased.
There was no way to make it hers.
She had no affection for him.
So it was forever out of reach.
“I hate this.”
Her jealousy was so ugly she couldn’t bear it.
Bang!
With mysterious strength, she pushed him away.
“Don’t come near. Don’t touch.”
“……”
“Don’t look at me like that.”
Affectionately. Warmly.
As if saying “I love you.”
Not me, but me.
Even in this situation, uncontrollable, jealousy-blinded feelings erupted like lightning through her eyes and voice.
“Don’t look! You don’t know anything… I hate it. I hate it so much.”
“I know.”
“What do you know? Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I know.”
“Shut your mouth!”
Her remaining reason said this was wrong, but she couldn’t stop.
“Do you know what you’re seeing…!”
Her petty, ugly truth reached her eyes.
“It’s you.”
Yoonjae’s unwilling truth was heard. She shook her head helplessly.
‘Stop.’
Holding their hands firmly while pushing them away, he looked at them.
His irrefutable eyes said:
“I’m seeing it.”
‘Please, stop.’
“Touching.”
‘Please, don’t say it.’
“Loving.”
So desperately wanted, yet so unwelcomed—Yoonjae’s confession made her close her eyes.
It was over.
At the cliff’s edge, he held her.
“It’s you, Gouri.”
