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Chapter : 32
Thud.
The carriage door shut, and the cramped space quickly filled with the loud, ragged breathing of Duke Herarila.
“Hiiiiiing.”
The carriage began to move, starting with the sound of the horses. As it turned the corner and the Gerhardt estate disappeared from view,
“Patricia!!”
His restrained shout finally burst out.
“You useless, stupid girl! Do you even realize what you’ve done?!”
With a face not just red but darkened to black, Duke Herarila shouted without pause, even pointing his finger at me as if to pierce my eyes.
I wiped my tingling wrist, held by the duke. The moment I told him I didn’t want to marry the junior duke, his face turned bright red, he grabbed my wrist, and dragged me out of the estate. Then, as if I were luggage, he threw me into the carriage.
As a result, my wrist and leg felt slightly twisted.
“Father.”
“Shut your mouth! Don’t even call me father! You useless fool, I can’t believe someone like you is my blood!”
“Sigh… I feel just as frustrated as you do, Father.”
I pressed my forehead and let out a deep sigh.
“What?”
“Being useless and incompetent is only natural, since I’m the child of the government’s mistress and not the duchess.”
At that, Duke Herarila recoiled and quickly covered my mouth.
“Shut up. What if someone hears?”
He glanced around nervously, as if worried about someone overhearing. In the carriage, it was just the two of us. But he seemed to worry as if even a single ant could be listening, not understanding the metaphor that “walls have ears.”
“Pff!”
There was no care or gentleness in the duke’s hand covering my mouth. Only after my fingers made scratches on his thick hand did I manage to breathe again.
“Shut up. I told you not to bring that up.”
“But, Father… how could I deceive the junior duke and marry him? If he were to find out…”
“That’s precisely why you must marry him. Once you become a part of the Gerhardt household, even if he finds out, he won’t do anything to embarrass me.”
Duke Herarila whispered quickly. I almost laughed at how he desperately tried to hide his own weakness. Lawrence already knows everything anyway.
“Sigh… I just want to stop.”
“What?”
“Deceiving everyone and mingling in society. Constantly worrying about being caught—I want it all to stop.”
“Huh? Stop? How on earth do you plan to stop?”
The duke let out a baffled, hollow laugh.
“Honestly, I have no strong desire for marriage. More than marrying, I just want to leave the capital and live alone.”
“That’s nonsense.”
“It’s not nonsense.”
“……”
“I can’t stand being hated by my family simply for being the child of a mistress. After all, it’s not really my fault, is it?”
The duke’s expression hardened.
“Lately, I often think… maybe it would be easier if I just revealed everything and left. Here, I can’t even step outside freely.”
“……”
“I’ve spent my whole life tiptoeing and worrying. But if I marry the junior duke, I’d have to spend the rest of my life deceiving him as well.”
I shook my head in disgust.
“The truth is, I’ve only ever followed your orders for your sake. If anyone found out I was a child of a mistress, it would hurt you and my brothers more than it would me, who has nothing to lose.”
“Patri….”
“But what did I get in return? Only your and my brothers’ scorn and contempt.”
“That’s enough. Enough.”
Duke Herarila waved his hand in frustration, his brows furrowed as if his head ached.
“Honestly, it might even be fun to get revenge, to repay in kind.”
“Nonsense.”
The duke smirked as if amused.
“You’d expose the family’s flaws? Don’t you realize that would shame you, too?”
“I already said it doesn’t matter.”
“You’re insane. Completely lost your mind.”
The duke looked at me with disdain.
“You’ll come to your senses once you’re locked in your room.”
“I’ve been locked up all my life. Nothing new there.”
“You’ll change your mind once you’re left without food or water.”
“Do you think I won’t speak just because you lock me up?”
“Hah, who would you tell if you were locked up? The household staff? Or the dolls in your room?”
He sneered mockingly.
“What do you think I discussed with the junior duke, that I had to go to the reception room for it?”
“…What?”
Finally, cracks appeared on the otherwise composed face of Duke Herarila.
“You… told him everything?”
He tried to act confident, but he was already stammering.
“I gave him a letter. I told him to open it if I didn’t visit the Gerhardt estate within two days.”
The duke’s mouth slightly opened in shock.
“You know perfectly well what was in that letter, don’t you?”
“Hah? You’re just bluffing. You don’t want to be locked up, so you’re making up nonsense to threaten me. Ridiculous! Then… when exactly did you write that letter and start carrying it around?”
The duke paused, thinking, then questioned me as if my words were absurd.
He was right. There was no letter, and I had given Lawrence no instructions. He had no clue about this, and nothing I did could reveal that I was a child of a mistress.
“Think whatever you like.”
But it was the duke, not me, who felt uneasy in this situation.
“I don’t care.”
I noticed that the duke wanted everything to be perfect. He valued the family’s reputation above all, obsessed over appearances, and struggled to hide his flaws. So, no matter how rational he wanted to be, he would eventually give in.
I deliberately wore a carefree expression, appearing calm. And indeed, I truly wasn’t in a hurry. Duke Herarila would move exactly as I wanted.
“…What exactly do you want?”
Not even five minutes later, the restless duke finally spoke.
“Tell me—what can I do to make you change your mind?”
The forceful tone was gone, replaced by a gentle one. I almost laughed at the sudden shift. People really could change attitudes in an instant.
“Will ignoring you make you feel better?”
I shook my head. There was no need—he could no longer ignore me even if he wanted to.
“Then… if your father shows you more love? Of course, I never didn’t love you. You’ve always been my most loved child. I just… didn’t express it well. But my words are true.”
Love. I frowned instinctively. Why would I want Duke Herarila’s love? And being the “most loved” among his children? If I received that, I might go insane from depression.
“Then…”
The duke seemed eager to figure out what I wanted. Really foolish. I had just said I wanted to leave this place, but he hadn’t listened.
“My dear daughter, speak freely. Your father will grant whatever you wish.”
Duke Herarila grabbed my hand. Not as tightly as before, but still uncomfortable. When I tried to pull back slightly, he quickly let go.
“Speak freely.”
“I want independence.”
“What?”
“I want to leave the Herarila estate and live on my own.”
The duke blinked slowly, as if not understanding.
“Find me a place to live. Give me some money too.”
“…Independence.”
He seemed to hesitate, as if wondering whether he could truly trust me.
“If you do that, I won’t think of anything else?”
“Maybe. And I absolutely despise unwanted marriages, so please don’t put me in a confusing situation.”
“Ah, you don’t want to marry. Then I won’t force it.”
The duke swallowed hard.
“If I let you be independent and choose your marriage freely,” he swallowed again, “will that satisfy you?”
Had the duke ever been this kind to me before? Watching a powerful man beg earnestly was… oddly satisfying.
I considered if I should ask for anything more.
“My daughter, if you wish for anything else, speak freely.”
“Hmmm…”
“Then… is that settled?”
“For now.”
I thought for a moment, then nodded. Only then did the duke take a deep breath.
