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Chapter 05
Searching for the Lost Dream (3)
At this point, let’s briefly look back at my past life.
- …and so, we would like to express our gratitude to everyone who came to watch our performance today, as we, who grew up under the love of our parents and teachers, present this recital.
It all started lightly—as a kindergarten event MC. The photo of me, diligently reading a memorized script, ended up as the first page of my kindergarten graduation album.
- I also agree with the opposing view that students still struggle with self-control regarding smartphone usage. However, the essence of a smartphone is communication and contact.
- Rather than forcibly taking away phones from students due to their entertainment functions alone, wouldn’t it be more productive to teach proper usage and help them develop self-regulation?
Back then, I became the partner of a friend in a debate tournament because I was lured in with the promise of sweet potato pizza. I ended up sweeping awards in various competitions.
- Life is a series of choices and regrets. Since childhood, I have made countless decisions, and each one has sometimes become the best decision, and sometimes the worst.
- So? Are you saying you’ll regret choosing this department?
- If regret is inevitable anyway, I intend to make this choice the best one. And now that I have applied to this department, I am confident I will turn it into the most proud and wise decision I have ever made.
That answer—something I blurted out freely when asked if I had anything else to say in my college interview—was apparently still being used as drinking material by the professor years after I graduated.
Every time he saw me, the professor, who had always tried to recruit me into graduate school, would pat my shoulder and say, “You could probably negotiate a department store price down by half.”
So the point is this: aside from anything else, I was extremely good at talking. There was a reason people called me “Ha-jin of presentations” all through college.
“…I did have a lot of concerns before deciding to pursue a dream I had once given up.”
The “Life Plan Presentation of Kang Ha-jin” was nearing its end. My father, it seemed, had never been strongly opposed in the first place, while my mother was watching silently with an unreadable expression.
I had already exhausted all objective data that could convince them. All that remained was my sincerity. My mouth felt dry, so I swallowed nervously.
“Since this is an important time, I’m not saying I’ll abandon my studies. However, now that I’ve been given the opportunity of an audition, I want to push myself as far as I can—even if I fail—and experience that failure properly.”
That was a lie.
When told to “find the lost dream,” it wasn’t easy for a twenty-nine-year-old like me to suddenly feel excited and driven. There was no guarantee I could survive the competition and debut as an idol, and even if I did, there was no guarantee of success.
But I had to attend that audition to stop the regression. And I had to stop the regression to escape this endless winter that trapped my family.
If reclaiming a discarded dream was the way to end this regression, then acting like an enthusiastic teenage trainee for a while wasn’t something I couldn’t do.
“You know I’m good at this. Just give me one year. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll really give up.”
If I failed this audition, I would regress without hesitation. I forced what I thought was a convincing smile. To my parents, it would probably just look like youthful confidence.
I had laid all my cards on the table. With a “Thank you” slide on the PPT, I waited for their judgment. Silence followed.
“Ha-jin.”
My father had already deferred the decision to my mother. She called my name once, then hesitated for a long time.
“…Mom knows you’re good at it.”
“……”
“That’s true.”
For a moment, that felt dangerous.
Those words—“I know you’re good”—struck something deep inside me. Scenes from my first life, now more than four years distant and almost dreamlike, flashed through my mind.
“And Mom is also saying… it’s okay even if you’re not good at it.”
The image of Kang Ha-jin, who had once lived unemployed, lying in bed, drifting through meaningless days, surfaced. That version of me, unable to do anything and afraid to step outside, still remained inside me.
My mother in the present could not possibly know what that future version of me would become.
“And I just… don’t want you to struggle. I want you to hear praise, good words, and live your life without regret. That’s all.”
And yet her words felt like they were comforting that future version of me.
[System Alert: Sudden Quest!]
Content: A child’s wounds are a parent’s scars. Win your mother’s heart and have her acknowledge your reclaimed dream.
Time limit: Linked with SQ 01 (D-46)
Failure penalty: 75% increase in probability of 5th regression activation
Quest completed.
Special reward: One designated-person trait viewing ticket (cannot be used on self)
The system window announced that the quest had been completed. I understood that I had successfully convinced my mother, but for some reason I couldn’t feel happy.
Even though it said a special reward had been granted for my passionate PT, I wasn’t interested.
My clenched fist tightened behind my back.
I would definitely end this regression in this life.
<Manager, has that kid still not contacted you?>
<If we can’t report this week again, we’re really in troubleㅠㅠ>
The head of the trainee development team at Rene Entertainment, Manager Jang, sighed while reading a message from Miro Entertainment.
“Clearly he took our business card excitedly…”
71—the audition number—had not contacted them since that day.
He checked every phone message and email, wondering if it had been marked as spam, but all he found were advertisements.
Honestly, there were plenty of people who wanted to become celebrities in Korea. One trainee not contacting them shouldn’t have been a big deal.
And yet, both Miro and Rene were anxiously restless, like butlers waiting on an unresponsive master.
<Well, let’s just drop it—>
Just as he was about to send a frustrated message, Manager Jang stopped, regained his composure, and deleted it.
The trainee they had traded from Miro, Cha Min-seok, had become the ace of New Renez. Since Miro had helped them a lot with Min-seok’s contract termination, it was now Rene’s turn to return the favor.
<Our team leader really wants to meet that kidㅠㅠㅠ>
The desperate pressure made him clutch his head.
Because this was an open audition, all personal information like address and phone numbers had been discarded that day. There was no way to track him.
“I should’ve gone with him and gotten his parents’ approval instead of just handing him a business card…”
Manager Jang, who had actually done exactly that before with a rookie from SPHERE, wiped away regretful tears while debating whether to turn off his buzzing phone.
Then—
<This is 71. I’m leaving a message because you didn’t pick up.>
If he didn’t answer calls, then he wouldn’t answer—so why send a message too?
“…Oh, Lord, hallelujah, Jesus Christ, holy—”
The irritated expression on his face vanished instantly. He dropped the phone and covered his mouth.
“Wait. Is it 71?”
Assistant Yoon, sitting across from him, immediately understood the situation and jumped up.
Manager Jang motioned for silence, regaining control.
He cleared his throat and answered the call.
- Hello.
“Hello, Ha-jin. This is Jang Seo-yoon from Rene Entertainment’s trainee development team. Sorry for getting back to you so late.”
It was over.
The moment he heard that voice, he knew he had already lost the opening psychological battle. Assistant Yoon looked at him with pity.
Damn it. I’m not usually like this.
- It’s okay. I’m the one who should apologize for contacting you late.
“Oh no, not at all. This is perfect timing.”
It was late. Extremely late. But what did it matter now?
- Thank you. So what should I do now?
“Well…”
He signaled Yoon with his eyes while continuing the call.
<Set up meeting with Miro IMMEDIATELY>
- Yes, thank you. Then how should I proceed?
“Ah…”
A note was shoved toward him.
<Miro Entertainment, Friday 5 PM>
“Friday! I’ll send you the location. Friday 5 PM. Is that okay?”
- I still have school…
“Then…”
- No, I’ve already finished the college entrance exam. I’ll go at 5 PM on Friday.
“Great. I’ll be there too, so call me when you arrive.”
- Yes, thank you.
The call ended.
Assistant Yoon looked excited.
“So? Is he coming? Is he doing it?”
“Yoon… I think we’re all just obsessed with 71.”
“Team leader, I swear it’s my lifelong regret that our company is full of visual ‘single-eyelid’ types.”
But it wasn’t like they wanted 71 to replace New Renez’s Jeong-hyeok either. Yoon still cared for her first trainees.
Still, taste was taste. If she could debut 71, she wouldn’t hesitate to switch companies.
“Is double eyelid really that important? No, I do think 71 is good though…”
Another senior chimed in.
“Honestly, I’ve been asking the same thing. Why didn’t we pick 71?”
Manager Jang tried to rationalize it. It wasn’t like there was anything that serious between them yet.
“Hmm. No, it’s not that all double eyelids are good…”
Yoon shrugged.
“I just like that type. It’s my ‘pine tree’ taste.”
And she gave up trying to explain.
Still, none of them realized how important this would become.
Or was it important?
“Hello, I’m Kang Ha-jin.”
Friday, 5 PM.
Seeing him arrive with Miro Entertainment staff, Manager Jang briefly thought:
“Should we have just made him ours from the start?”
Unlike the open audition days, Ha-jin now wore a lightly styled look—loosely swept hair and a black leather jacket that suited him far too well.
At the audition, he had seemed like a quiet nineteen-year-old. Today, he carried a sharper, more sensitive aura.
“Ha-jin, nice to finally meet you. You were briefed about today’s audition, right?”
“Yes, I was told through Manager Jang.”
“Good. Don’t be too nervous. Manager, please come in as well.”
What is he?
Manager Jang followed them inside Miro Entertainment.
It was already spilled water.
Meanwhile, Ha-jin was genuinely pissed off.
The “slightly sharp vibe” Jang noticed wasn’t imagination. He was actually angry.
And the reason was clear.
[Single Quest 02]
“This crazy guy in this district is me!”
Content: You have entered Miro.
Survive the suffocating politics and internal competition here, find allies who will help you, and successfully debut.
(Hidden bomb removal increases regression suppression and quest success rate.)
Remaining time: 6 months
Success reward: Clue to tracking the regressor
Failure penalty: 85% increase in probability of 5th regression activation
“85%? Seriously… should I just kill everyone?”
