WFMW 59

Chapter 59

A Constant Sense of Wrongness

When you drink, you get a hangover. It happens because alcohol causes your brain to contract, and once it does, it takes time for it to expand back to normal.

Yeah, I know that—at least in theory.

I just never thought I’d have to experience it myself.

When I woke up, it felt like my head had been stuffed into a vise.

After groaning and tossing around for a while, I gave up and had vegetable juice for breakfast—apparently good for hangovers.

Never thought I’d see the day I’d drink vegetable juice by choice.

It was awful. I couldn’t even describe what it tasted like. If there had been any other cure for hangovers, I wouldn’t have touched the stuff.

But honestly, I don’t think it even works!

The nasty, earthy aftertaste still lingered on my tongue.

I spat and grimaced as I climbed into the carriage—only to experience firsthand what “sitting on pins and needles” really meant.

What’s going on? Why does the atmosphere feel even heavier today?

Yesterday, I rode alone. But starting today, Grisha was joining me—he couldn’t ride a horse either.

Only now, Grisha sat opposite me, expressionless, deep in thought. Whatever was on his mind, it was serious. And yet, whenever our eyes met, he forced a small smile, as if to reassure me.

That just makes it worse.

Don’t smile. Just say, “I’m not in the mood, please don’t talk to me.” That would actually be better.

Is this because I brought up Sidor yesterday?

The thought filled me with guilt. I clutched my skirt tightly and spoke carefully.

“Um, Grisha.”

“Yes?”

“Did you… sleep well?”

“Of course.”

“……”

And that was the end of that. I pressed my hand to my forehead.

So, the reason our conversations flowed so easily before was because Grisha carried them for me.

I suddenly gained a whole new respect for his patience. Next time, I’d better come prepared with conversation topics.

What should I talk about today? How we’ll observe the monsters together? Or maybe how I asked Sir Heil to sell the enchantment water for me?

He must’ve met Heil already if he read the letter I left at the mansion.

While I was still trying to think of what to say, I heard a soft laugh above my head.

I blinked and looked up.

“…Grisha?”

His eyes curved gently, and as he reached out, he tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, saying,

“You just look so cute when you’re lost in thought.”

“Cu–cute…?”

That was not an adjective I ever expected to hear from him. What? Who’s cute?

He thinks I’m cute?!

Good lord. I’d told him that plenty of times, but hearing it the other way around was something else.

But then, the smile faded from his lips. His expression darkened, and he bowed his head.

“I’m sorry about yesterday, Nelly. And I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable again today because of my feelings. You were only trying to help when you gave me advice…”

“No, it’s fine! I mean, anyone might get upset. I’m the one who stuck my nose into your family matters.”

“There’s nothing in the world you can’t say to me, Nelly. So it’s my fault.”

“Uh…”

What does that even mean?

His almost excessive gentleness made me uneasy, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask more. I was afraid the answer might be something I wasn’t ready to hear.

Then, smiling softly again, Grisha pointed toward the window.

“Do you see that big castle?”

“Yeah.”

Through the dense forest, a spire rose faintly into view.

“That’s the castle of Marquis Bauer, who maintains security around this region. The four knight orders participating in the subjugation are all gathering there.”

“I see. You seem well-informed.”

“I heard the details from Sir Jacques.”

Apparently, Grisha had been briefed more thoroughly about the operation than I had—even though I was the one officially participating.

Guess I wasn’t paying enough attention.

But to be fair, even if Sidor had explained it, I probably wouldn’t have understood much. The name “Marquis Bauer” didn’t even ring a bell.

As Grisha was explaining the other three knight orders that would be gathering there, I spotted Sidor riding past the window. Excited, I waved.

“Sidor!”

Even though the window was closed, his sharp hearing would’ve caught my voice—or at least he’d have seen me waving.

Huh?

But instead of approaching, Sidor pulled on the reins and sped up, overtaking the carriage.

I froze, lips parted.

Why’s he avoiding me?

Sidor had lectured me plenty of times before, but he’d never outright ignored me like this.

Did something actually happen yesterday?

Did I do something stupid while I was drunk? I racked my brain, massaging my temples.

Grisha, watching me struggle, raised an eyebrow.

“…You seem close with my brother.”

“Well, we live in the same house, after all.”

I nodded firmly.

But my confident reply only made Grisha’s smile fade into a complicated expression.

“Nelly,” he said quietly.

“Yes?”

I tried to sound calm, though my heart was pounding.

Is he really that upset just because I get along with Sidor?

After all, Sidor was his parents’ killer. It made sense that Grisha would hate him—but expecting me to do the same was a different matter.

So what am I supposed to do?

I hesitated—then realized I was actually hesitating. Somehow, Grisha and Sidor now carried almost equal weight in my mind.

When did that happen?

While I was still confused, Grisha reached for me. I instinctively shut my eyes.

But instead of touching my face, he gently pried my hand away from my tangled hair and began smoothing it down.

I felt ridiculous for flinching. When I scratched my cheek, he caught my hand.

“Your face is red.”

“Ah.”

This tender attentiveness—this was the Grisha I’d always known.

Maybe I’m just overthinking it.

The unease I kept feeling toward him started to seem strange—even unreasonable.

Looking into my eyes, he spoke in his usual gentle tone.

“I’ll say it again. I really hope you leave that house soon. Lady Briar is a dangerous woman. Who knows what she might do to you?”

I almost laughed in relief. For a second, I’d thought he was jealous of Sidor, but he was just worried about me.

Better not mention the assassins, though.

“Oh, Lady Briar? Don’t worry. I’ll keep that in mind. But you shouldn’t worry too much—Sidor promised he’d protect me.”

The strongest swordsman in the kingdom guarding me—what could go wrong?

But at my words, the deep blue of Grisha’s eyes darkened, like the ocean at dusk.

“I just…”

He hesitated, then frowned.

“I just hate seeing you next to my brother.”

“…I see.”

My tongue felt heavy again. Even to my own ears, my reply sounded lifeless.

How do you even respond to something like that? Should I read a book on communication?

Maybe I really was too insensitive to talk about family issues.

As I fiddled with my fingers, Grisha gave me a pained smile.

“Nelly, may I hug you?”

“Sure.”

We’d hugged plenty of times at the Academy. I nodded without thinking.

But when his big hands pulled me toward him, I instantly realized something was off.

“Uh—huh?”

Grisha wrapped his arms around me tightly—too tightly, like an eagle seizing its prey.

This wasn’t the light, friendly hug I’d expected. His embrace felt like a cage.

Frozen in surprise, I heard his low voice near my ear.

“I’m so glad I got to see you again. Just imagining losing you back at the Academy—without even realizing what was happening—gives me chills.”

“Y-yeah…”

If I hadn’t been able to use time-reversal magic, we really might never have met again.

…So he was afraid too.

He was genuinely worried about me. Maybe that cold feeling I’d sensed wasn’t in him—but in me.

I took a deep breath, trying to relax, and hugged him back.

“Thank you, Grisha. I’m glad I got to see you again too.”

But when my arms went around his back, his embrace tightened even more. His breath tickled my ear.

Before I knew it, my face was pressed against his shoulder. I blinked rapidly.

Isn’t this… a bit too close?

Feeling awkward, I turned my head away—

—and met a pair of silver-gray eyes staring in through the window.

Sidor?

The moment our eyes met, Sidor sharply turned away, pretending not to see.