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Chapter : 05
Right after returning alive, Ethern suddenly felt dizzy and almost collapsed.
The palace doctor said there was no particular reason for it, and Dora seemed ready to grab him by the collar in frustration—but Ethern thought the doctor was probably right. At least physically.
If there was any plausible cause, it was probably from reading people’s thoughts.
“I’ve been reading the thoughts of dozens of people, unable to tell if they were real or fake… No wonder I almost collapsed.”
Ethern gave strict orders to make sure Wintear would never know that he had nearly fainted.
[If Dad finds out about this, it’ll be a disaster. So make sure no one talks about it, Dora. Understand?]
[But Your Highness, this isn’t something that can just be hidden. What if it really is a health problem?]
[Do as I say. If it happens again, then you can tell Dad.]
Unable to refuse Ethern’s earnest request, Dora reluctantly agreed, tears welling in her eyes.
“Why did you suddenly go silent?”
At the sudden, intimidating voice, Ethern’s small body shivered.
Wintear’s frown deepened as he somehow sensed that faint movement.
“If there’s a problem, just tell me plainly.”
Was he planning to throw her in prison if she didn’t speak?
Ethern sighed inwardly, and a question suddenly popped into her mind.
“Dad… I want to ask you something.”
“Again? What is it this time?”
“Why don’t you come see Mom?”
This time, Wintear’s fingertips twitched. He tried to push Ethern slightly, but she didn’t budge.
‘I thought Dad didn’t love Mom.’
Even in her previous life, Emperor Wintear rarely visited the sleeping empress. When Ethern asked about her father, people would always answer that he was too busy with state affairs.
So Ethern hated him. Ever since she thought her father had abandoned her mother, she had carried that resentment.
When her mother’s last breath finally left her, Ethern was for the first and last time angry at her father.
[All of this is your fault! You never did a single thing properly for Mom!]
[Did you even remember she was still alive? You completely forgot, didn’t you? I’ll never forgive you! Emperor? Give the throne to the dogs!]
That winter, Emperor Wintear truly went mad.
It was only after Ethern died that she realized she had been mistaken.
Amid the countless dreams, knowledge, and the histories of lives and deaths that flooded her mind, she saw her young parents—who cared for each other deeply.
Wintear had not forgotten Maikelren.
In fact, he remembered her so vividly that he simply could not bring himself to see her.
‘Seeing Mom unconscious must have made him despair… He was running away from reality. Losing her was too frightening.’
Now, Ethern could understand her father’s hesitation and fear. But she could not let things stay as they were.
For the plan to proceed step by step, Wintear needed to face reality first.
“Dad.”
Ethern, clinging to his arm, puckered her lips like a small bird.
“Mom would want to see you even in her sleep. Don’t you want to see her?”
“Shut up.”
“Mom would want to see you in her dreams… Mom would—”
“Will you stop talking already?!”
Wintear raised his voice in anger, realizing immediately that if Ethern cried or panicked, it would be a disaster.
But he soon realized his mistake. Ethern neither cried nor screamed, nor did she collapse.
She simply looked at him with strangely mature eyes, unlike a child.
Her light green eyes—vanishing and reappearing behind her eyelids—were identical to her mother Maikelren’s, who slept without waking.
Wintear, feeling his heart nearly crumble, took a deep, heavy sigh.
He released Ethern’s hand completely and started walking ahead.
“Dad.”
“Quietly follow me. Go with your nurse to your quarters.”
Ethern hurried to keep up, but her small steps suddenly stopped.
Wintear, noticing her pause, stopped as well. A headache formed in his mind.
‘Raising my voice for no reason…’
He was about to call her when it happened.
“Dad, you’re a hopeless coward!”
Wintear’s eyes went wide. Hopeless? He had never heard such a criticism in his life.
“What did you just say?”
Wintear tried to grab her shoulder, but Ethern deftly slipped away and even slapped the back of his hand.
“I said you’re a coward!”
“Shut your mouth!”
“How lonely would Mom be? How could she want to stay asleep? If she dreams alone and feels sad, what then?!”
Her clear eyes were brimming with tears, trembling as though they might fall at any moment. Wintear’s face went pale.
“Ethern…”
He hesitated, reaching toward her, but she slapped his hand away again. It hurt, but it wasn’t strong—just enough to sting.
“She’s afraid you won’t wake up, Dad. I’m the same way!”
Tears rolled down her flushed cheeks. Seeing this, Wintear felt as if the thorns in his heart had grown and pierced his entire body.
“I still go see Mom every day. I want her to hear my voice and wake up soon. But why don’t you do that, Dad? Why…?”
Her sob choked her words. He tried to wipe her tears with his hand, but they wouldn’t stop.
‘I didn’t expect this.’
Ethern, holding back her tears, whispered to herself:
‘I thought I was finally getting close to Dad… and now this…’
“Yeah, you must hate me.”
Wintear, who had remained silent until now, finally spoke. But his words frightened Ethern.
“Dad, it’s not that I hate you. What I’m saying is—”
“You’re right. You can’t imagine how resentful I am toward myself for not being able to do anything for your mother.”
“No, I’m telling you, Dad, please listen to me—”
“Enough.”
Wintear, his expression darkened, stood up and turned away, saying:
“Let’s go back.”
“Dad!”
But Wintear didn’t say another word. Whatever Ethern said, he seemed not to hear, staring emptily ahead as he walked.
‘Those eyes…’
Ethern’s small shoulders trembled as she swallowed her sobs and followed him.
‘They were like that when Mom died too.’
A chill ran through Ethern’s tiny body.
When she was ten, as Empress Maikelren’s life waned day by day, and the final breath left her, Wintear arrived but just stood silently by her bedside for a long time.
Even the sound of his daughter wailing, the maids panicking, the sobs filling the room—none of it seemed to reach him.
This cannot continue, Ethern thought. If she pushed her father like this…
‘No.’
Her father could not be so weak. If he were, they would not be able to save her mother this time either.
‘We can’t go mad, like before.’
Ethern pressed her lips together with all her strength, swallowing her tears, and whispered to herself.
