ITYVA 44🔐

Chapter 44

At the unexpected words, my eyes widened.

“Here?”

Harnen lifted his teacup to his lips and nodded.

“Living at the Grand Duke’s estate would be inconvenient in all sorts of ways. You can’t stay there officially as a guest, so you’d have to hide yourself, and even going out would be troublesome.”

Well… that was true.

As if he had read my mind, Harnen smiled softly after taking a sip of tea.

“This place doesn’t compare to the Grand Duke’s mansion, but it’s fairly spacious. There’s even a second floor. Staying here until the real estate regulations in the capital ease up wouldn’t be so bad.”

Indeed, staying as a guest in Harnen’s house would be far more comfortable in many ways.

I’d be able to freely use a guest room, and since most people already knew how close Harnen and I were, living here wouldn’t cause nearly as much gossip as if I were at Serenia’s ducal estate.

But without thinking too deeply, I shook my head.

“No, it’s fine. I can’t block your chances of marriage, Harnen.”

A man and a woman of age, living alone together under one roof.

Of course, Harnen and I were just friends. But gossip-loving nobles would surely chatter like this:

“Isn’t there something between the two of them?”

I could put up with it, but I could never stand my favorite person being misunderstood like that.

At my refusal, the smile that had lingered on Harnen’s face cracked.

“…Then what about Einra?”

After a brief silence, Harnen spoke slowly.

“Don’t you worry about the Grand Duke’s marriage prospects?”

“…Huh?”

For a moment, I stupidly asked back.

I had never once thought about it.

‘…Right? Why haven’t I ever thought about that?’

My heart skipped in an uneven rhythm.

I felt I had to say something, anything.

Before my thoughts could even settle, words rushed out of my mouth.

“O–Of course I’m worried! But Aces is under a curse right now. I can protect him, so that’s the only reason I’m staying with him for a while!”

“…”

“And besides, Aces has nightmares, and when I put him to sleep, he feels better, so…”

My voice, which had been spilling out hastily, began to weaken.

The more I spoke, the stranger it all sounded.

Even without me, there were more than enough people to protect Aces.

After all, Serenia’s ducal house alone commanded five knightly orders.

And Aces was a grown man.

Wasn’t it odd for an adult to need someone to put him to bed every night just because of nightmares?

“…”

I fell silent.

All those reasons I’d given aloud were nothing but excuses.

There wasn’t any unavoidable reason at all.

‘This is just… because I want to stay by Aces’s side.’

“…Ah.”

Once I realized that, everything became clear.

Why I was so terrified whenever Aces avoided me.
Why I so desperately wanted to change the mind of someone who wanted to keep his distance.
Why I grew clumsy whenever I stood before him.
Why I was so furious at Millen for kidnapping him.
Why I hated so much that he was in pain.

There was only one reason.

Because I liked Aces. In a romantic way.

…It was such a simple reason.

“…”

My face burned so hotly I couldn’t put it into words.

I buried it in both hands.

Since when? Since when had it begun?

‘At first… he really was just like a little brother.’

That’s why I cherished him. Held him dear.

I thought that was all there was to it.

I had never once imagined I would see Aces in a different light.

When had that changed?

‘After all those times my heart raced and fluttered…’

Why was I only realizing it now?

“…”

Sunlight streamed faintly through the kitchen, and a heavy silence filled the air.

At the edge of that silence, I slowly spoke.

“…Sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

When I raised my head, Harnen was looking at me, the smile gone from his face.

I parted my lips blankly before finally speaking.

“Earlier… the reasons I gave were just excuses. That’s not it. The truth is, I…”

I like Aces. That’s why I want to be with him.

The words caught in my throat before I could speak them.

My hand moved slowly to my neck.

An old, humiliating memory surfaced in my mind.

‘…I like you. A lot.’

Back then, when Aces had confessed to me.

‘I–I’m sorry!’

I had run away without even looking back, hurting him.

And now I wanted to say I liked him?

‘…How pathetic.’

It had been five whole years.

Back then, Aces had only been sixteen. He might treat me kindly now, but who could say he still felt the same way?

We had only just managed to clear up our misunderstandings and smile at each other again.

That alone was more than enough for me.

I didn’t want to risk even the smallest chance of ruining it with a confession.

“…It’s nothing.”

So I chose silence.

I didn’t want anyone to know.

“I just… want to, that’s all.”

Harnen didn’t press me.

He simply smiled slowly and said:

“I see.”

“…”

“Alright.”

His easy acceptance made me feel relieved.

I was so overwhelmed by my newfound realization that I couldn’t notice anything else.

So I didn’t realize—
That the smile Harnen wore was different from usual.

Tea time ended vaguely.

I bid Harnen farewell, then hurried off to the Grand Duke’s estate.

Perhaps because I had only just come to terms with my feelings, I found myself longing desperately to see Aces.

But when I entered through the window into his bedroom, the room was empty.

Restlessness stirred inside me, so I set out quickly to search.

I cloaked myself in the Silavys’ air veil and rushed through the mansion.

My anxious mind wasn’t working properly.

I opened every door I came across, hope and disappointment rising and falling each time.

Where is he? Where could he be?

Where do I have to go to see him?

After scouring the ducal estate for what felt like forever—

“Einra?”

I found Aces in the office.

Though it was close to the bedroom, its position forced a roundabout route, which was why it had taken me so long.

With his wavy hair tied back neatly, he was going through papers with a composed air. His eyes widened when he saw me suddenly barge in.

“…Aces.”

I felt like I was about to cry.

My face crumpled, and a startled Aces rose to his feet, hurrying over to me.

“Einra, what happened—”

I dropped to my knees and pulled the small body before me into my arms.

The little figure stiffened in my embrace.

“…Einra?”

He called my name.

I held him tighter and answered.

“Yeah, Aces.”

“…Did something happen?”

His soft voice asked quietly.

I gave a small laugh and shook my head.

“No, it’s nothing.”

“…”

“I just… suddenly wanted to see you.”

There was no reply from him.

I felt grateful he didn’t ask “Why?”

Because I was such a poor liar—if he did, he would have seen through me and discovered everything.

“…”

After a long silence, he clutched the hem of my clothes.

Then his small forehead leaned gently against my shoulder.

“It feels like I’ve been given a surprise gift.”

“….”

“I haven’t even done anything good to deserve it.”

That made me laugh.

I stroked his hair and said:

“You’re beautiful, that’s why.”

“…I’m beautiful?”

“Yeah, beautiful.”

So very much. I swallowed the rest.

Blushing red to the ears, Aces buried his face completely into my shoulder.

As I held the small body pressing into my arms, I thought:

I’m satisfied with this.

I want to stay just like this.

…But it wouldn’t take long for me to realize just how foolish that wish was.