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Chapter 17
“We have to dance together anyway.”
Lauren didn’t answer. She only stared at him blankly, her widened eyes blinking slowly. Unable to quietly wait for her reply, Aster spoke first.
Then he crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. For some reason, he wanted to appear relaxed in front of her.
“Uh… is that really okay?”
“There’s no reason it wouldn’t be.”
“Wow, thank you so much! I’m not sure if I’ll do well, but I’ll try hard!”
The pale violet eyes that had been wavering with worry instantly lit up. A bright smile spread across her face. Aster couldn’t take his eyes off her.
She looked so dazzling.
…Huh?
Startled by the sudden thought that hit him, he covered his mouth and lowered his head.
“Aster?”
“Ah— no. It’s nothing.”
Aster hurriedly waved his hand.
He couldn’t stop the heat rising to his face. He didn’t even understand what kind of foolish thought had crossed his mind.
At this moment, he felt like he probably looked just as absentminded as his academy classmates did whenever they talked about their fiancées or opera singers they were infatuated with.
He felt like Lauren absolutely must not notice, so he took a deep breath, trying to erase the thought from his mind.
“Um, Aster.”
At the sound of Lauren calling his name, Aster looked up.
As if those sparkling eyes from before had never existed, her brows were furrowed.
Ah, right.
He knew why she was making that expression.
That woman—her cousin—was coming tomorrow.
He had forgotten for a moment because of the Imperial Ball invitation.
Even he, seeing her for the first time, could tell at a glance what kind of person she was: greedy and shameless, someone who didn’t know her place.
Lauren was intelligent. There was no reason she wouldn’t be able to handle someone like that.
So there shouldn’t have been anything to worry about.
Yet…
He didn’t actually know much about Lauren’s circumstances.
Of course, he had memorized every detail from the investigation report, but there were things a few lines in a document could never explain.
There had to be a reason Lauren froze when facing Delania Siaz.
Perhaps talking about it was difficult.
Lauren lowered her head and absentmindedly traced the rim of her teacup.
“Lauren, I told you yesterday too—you don’t need to force yourself to talk…”
“No. I want you to listen. If I’m going to face Delania, I think I need to prepare myself in my own way…”
Was she saying that simply telling him would help her prepare herself mentally?
Aster quietly studied her face.
Lauren smiled without lifting her gaze.
For some reason, that smile looked painful.
That wasn’t the expression he wanted to see.
Before he realized it, Aster found himself frowning just like she was.
* * *
“That’s… just how it happened. I’m sorry. Now that I’ve said it out loud, it doesn’t even seem like much.”
After a long while, her story ended.
Lauren, who had confessed everything in a small whispering voice, drained the now-cold tea in one gulp.
Then she let out a long breath.
She raised her head to smile at Aster, who had watched her with worried eyes the entire time—
But he sat there with crossed arms, staring at his empty coffee cup with a grave expression.
Why was he making that face?
A much younger version of him from her memories suddenly overlapped with the face before her now.
“The Murderer,” Aster Lilliwood.
Lauren muttered his nickname inwardly.
Whenever she saw expressions like this, she couldn’t help but think:
There was no one less suited to the nickname “murderer” than Aster.
Maybe…
He had never really changed at all.
“What a pointless thing I did.”
Leaning against the back of the long sofa, Aster clicked his tongue.
The movement of his hand brushing back his loose golden hair was rough.
Pointless?
She herself had said it wasn’t much of a story, but she had still gathered considerable courage to tell him.
Even though she knew she shouldn’t—
For a moment, she almost felt hurt.
“If I’d known, I wouldn’t have invited that woman to dinner.”
But Aster’s words were completely unexpected.
“…What?”
“Memories like that tend to stay with you for a long time.”
Lauren couldn’t say anything.
His gaze seemed fixed somewhere far away.
What was Aster thinking about right now?
But she couldn’t ask.
His sunken green eyes looked darker than usual.
“I’m sorry. For making you face someone you hate.”
He lowered his head toward her.
Lauren could only shake hers.
“It’s okay now. I feel a little lighter after talking about it.”
“That’s a relief.”
Aster smiled bitterly.
Just moments ago, she had been worried about seeing Delania tomorrow.
Yet perhaps because she had spoken those words aloud, Lauren truly felt like things would be okay.
So she smiled at him.
This smile came much easier than the first one.
“So… I think I’ll be okay even if I face Delania. She doesn’t mean anything anymore.”
That’s right.
She had to mean nothing.
It should have been that way long ago.
Lauren clasped her hands tightly and thought:
Tomorrow—
I have to act like none of it matters.
* * *
Aster sat down and refilled his glass.
Today had been exhausting.
Enough to make his head spin.
After finishing his conversation with Lauren, he called Calvin.
Lauren still looked slightly distressed, and Aster had wanted to stop her, but she told Calvin that the Siaz family members made her uncomfortable.
The dinner invitation had already been promised, so nothing could be done now—
But if they came again afterward, she’d rather avoid meeting them if possible.
She said it with her usual composed smile.
Firmly.
Calvin bowed and apologized to her.
Lauren accepted the apology calmly.
Then, as though she had never been troubled at all, she immediately began preparing for the dinner.
Receiving guests was the Duchess’s duty, she said.
Aster had thought Lauren, who once worked on behalf of Baron Siaz, was only talented in administration—
Apparently, that wasn’t all.
Lauren, who had spent time managing and organizing the estate, transformed a small room into a dining hall in no time.
When asked why they weren’t using the regular dining room, she smiled bitterly and answered:
Because it was a place they had happily used until now—and would continue using in the future.
She didn’t want to give such a place over to people like them.
Then she looked toward him with her violet eyes.
Wasn’t it ridiculous to redecorate a whole dining room for such a trivial reason?
Lauren asked him that.
Aster shook his head.
After all, the Duchess was Lauren.
She could do whatever she wanted.
Calvin agreed with him.
In the end, following her wishes, a temporary dining room was created in an instant.
Aster raised his glass.
His thoughts drifted toward the opposite side of the mansion—
Toward the forbidden wing lying dark and unlit.
Without realizing it, he let out a hollow laugh.
No one could understand Lauren’s feelings better than Aster.
…No.
That wasn’t true.
Even Lauren, who feared nothing when moving forward, might recoil in disgust if she ever learned about the malice sleeping within this ducal estate.
Compared to what Aster had endured, Delania Siaz’s “malice” was almost cute.
Though he felt guilty for thinking that, considering how much Lauren had suffered.
Aster quietly watched Lauren work.
Since it was a dinner with someone she disliked, she could have done the bare minimum—
Yet Lauren worked diligently.
She personally checked everything:
The paintings to hang on the temporary dining room walls.
The flowers decorating the table.
When Calvin left to inform the kitchen of the menu he and Lauren had discussed, Lauren finally released a long sigh.
Watching her made Aster feel strangely frustrated.
Without thinking, he interfered.
He asked whether there was really any need to work so hard preparing for someone she hated.
His own tone sounded harsher than intended.
But correcting himself felt awkward, so he simply stayed silent.
Lauren, who had only just finished preparing for guests and was already reviewing documents again instead of resting, looked up at him.
Her eyes seemed to ask:
Why would you ask something like that?
Aster couldn’t answer.
When he said nothing, Lauren set down her pen and smiled softly.
Unless they had refused the invitation from the start, wasn’t it better to properly demonstrate the dignity of the ducal house now that things had come this far?
At her words, he nodded.
The dignity of the ducal house…
Something like that had already been lost long ago.
Unable to answer, he merely nodded while thinking that.
If Lauren found out—
She might be horrified enough to run away.
It was Aster who had decided to accept her as Duchess.
Yet even to her, he had no intention of revealing the malice and secrets hidden within the estate.
If fortune favored them, perhaps things could continue like this.
And if fortune did not—
Stop thinking.
Aster shook his head sharply.
That must never happen.
No one else should lose their life in this estate.
Once was enough to earn the disgraceful nickname:
“Murderer.”
After draining his glass in one gulp, he recalled the contents of the report Garnet had brought.
He remembered the fierce longing for freedom burning in Lauren’s violet eyes when they first met.
A longing he knew all too well.
Because he had once desperately wished for the same thing.
Lauren was an attractive woman.
Even when he tried not to, his gaze kept drifting toward her.
When she smiled, he found himself smiling too.
But simply because his eyes sought her—
He couldn’t chain her to this ducal estate.
Lauren Siaz would become the next Baron Siaz.
Maybe not immediately.
But eventually, that was how things should be.
She had lived her whole life preparing to inherit the title.
He had to send her back.
The place she belonged was the small, peaceful barony she loved so dearly.
The daughter of Emel Siaz—
The man who had once saved him and his comrades.
He accepted Lauren only to repay the debt he owed her father.
And perhaps…
That was all it should ever be.
Aster lay back against the armrest of the long sofa.
Staring at the familiar ceiling, he bit his lip.
My eyes keep following her…
The thought irritated him all over again.
Was that why he had said such things?
Because the corners of her eyes drooped sadly when she admitted she couldn’t dance?
Even if the Imperial Ball invitation gave him an excuse—
Shouldn’t he have known better?
What a foolish thing to say.
He still didn’t understand why he had offered.
No matter how he looked back on it, it was ridiculous.
Still…
It was fortunate Lauren had accepted happily.
At least she seemed to have regained some energy.
And for that—
Aster was genuinely relieved.
