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Chapter 6
It was a peaceful afternoon.
The very person who had become the center of all the maids’ gossip, Ruby, was fast asleep after lunch. Melia quietly watched over her.
“…She’s sleeping well.”
It was hard to imagine this was the same child who once insisted she had to be perfect in everything.
Then again, according to her original schedule…
‘This was supposed to be study time.’
“She kept saying she had to become accomplished from a young age or something.”
All because that insufferable “Marie Harper” had created such a schedule.
‘Still, should I wake her up?’
If her nap went on too long, she would struggle to sleep at night.
“Young Lady, it’s time to wake up.”
“Mmm…”
Ruby opened her sleepy eyes and looked at Melia.
“Ah.”
Of course, embarrassed, she immediately tried to hide back under the blankets—
“You’re not getting up?”
—but Melia caught Ruby and hugged her tightly, causing Ruby to emerge from the blankets again with a bright red face.
“I-I haven’t even washed up yet.”
“Then can I hug you again after you brush your teeth?”
Ruby shook her head fiercely.
Someone seeing them now might think Ruby and Melia were still distant from one another, but Ruby’s reasoning said otherwise.
“N-No way. It’s embarrassing!”
There was no longer any obsession with acting dignified or ladylike.
She was simply embarrassed.
Yes, Ruby was merely shy around the nanny who kept hugging her.
“You’re way too expressive.”
“Mmm, but if I hold this kind of thing back, I’ll get sick.”
“Sick? N-Nanny, are you hurting?”
Still, thanks to Melia, Ruby no longer paid much attention to the gazes of the maids waiting nearby.
She focused solely on talking with Melia.
“Yes, I’m hurting.”
“You are? Where?”
“My heart hurts terribly.”
Because Melia was doing her absolute best to win Ruby’s attention.
“It’s all because you’re too adorable, Young Lady.”
After all, Melia had died shortly after giving birth to Ruby.
There was no way she wouldn’t regret the six years she had lost.
“How can even your just-woken-up face be this cute?”
In other words, she was too busy showering Ruby with affection.
“…S-So annoying.”
Eventually, the exhausted Ruby climbed out of bed first.
But at that moment—
Knock knock.
A knock at the door stole their attention.
“Who is it?”
“It’s the head maid, Young Lady.”
The visitor was the head maid.
“Come in.”
As soon as Ruby gave permission, the head maid entered the room.
“What is it?”
“I have important news to deliver.”
At those words, Melia naturally stood up.
“I’ll wait in the hallway.”
If it was important, she intended to leave with the other maids so they could speak comfortably.
“O-Oh, no. Nanny, you should hear this too.”
The head maid stopped Melia.
“It’s good news.”
For once, she couldn’t hide her joy.
“I just received word from the head butler.”
And then—
“The Imperial Army has won the war.”
That meant—
“His Grace will be returning next month.”
News of Royden’s return.
Thud.
It felt as though something inside Melia sank straight downward.
For the first time, she doubted her own ears.
“They say the Imperial Army has already reached the outskirts of the Kingdom of Arisa.”
But cruel reality pressed closer and closer.
‘The Kingdom of Arisa.’
At that distance, it would only take a month—no, perhaps just weeks—to reach the capital.
And the duchy was very close to the capital.
Which meant Royden would arrive even sooner.
“Hng…”
Her breathing trembled, and anxiety filled her eyes.
‘Royden.’
He was returning.
‘I’m not ready yet.’
Before long, the man who had killed her would stand before her again.
‘Can I…’
Could she truly remain calm in front of Royden?
Could she stay beside Ruby without her identity being discovered?
‘What if he finds out?’
If she were once again misunderstood and pressured into death—
would she choose death again?
Would she once more be forced into making that choice?
‘I’m scared.’
All she could think about were the things she might lose again.
Riiiiing—
Even the sounds around her began fading away.
Tick… crack.
The ticking of the clock on the wall pierced her ears like the sound of shattering glass.
‘Don’t tell me…’
Was she still trapped on that day?
Had her time stopped on the day she was forced to accept death?
Melia felt her body growing colder and colder.
“…Nanny?”
Noticing something was wrong, Ruby slowly approached her.
“Nanny, are you okay?”
A tiny warmth filled Melia’s hand.
“Y-Your hands are cold.”
Ruby tightly grasped Melia’s hand, her face pale.
“What’s wrong? Hm?”
Of course she looked like she was about to cry.
Whether it was fortunate or unfortunate, Ruby’s trembling voice managed to pull Melia’s fading senses back, at least briefly.
Only then did she notice—
“…”
“…”
Everyone was staring at her.
There were gazes full of concern and surprise.
Naturally, there were also negative ones mixed in.
But none of them affected Melia.
Except for the smallest gaze among them.
“N-Nanny…”
‘She’s trembling.’
Me?
‘No.’
Ruby was trembling.
“Are you cold? Should I ask them to close the window?”
Only then did everything become clear again.
The voice full of worry.
The warmth coming through their joined hands.
And finally, her reason returned alongside her fading consciousness.
‘Ah.’
Only then did she realize what she had just done.
“Young Lady.”
Melia hurriedly clasped Ruby’s hands.
What should she say?
How could she comfort the child in front of her?
‘Your father is the one who killed me.’
‘Your father might kill me again.’
Your father—
‘…was my husband.’
At that moment, Melia let out a hollow laugh inwardly.
‘And I’m supposed to comfort her?’
The very person who had let things come to this point?
A person who couldn’t even properly speak her own thoughts?
Melia slowly had to admit it.
Today, she had failed.
As a nanny.
As a parent.
The moment she made the child anxious, she had ceased being a good adult.
At the same time, she realized something else.
The time had come to separate work from personal feelings.
The two could never coexist.
‘To me, it feels like only yesterday.’
But the people around her didn’t know the truth.
They were simply watching cautiously.
And this was absolutely not acceptable behavior.
No matter how one looked at it, she was causing trouble.
‘At this rate, I might only frighten Ruby even more.’
This was a child who had already grown up in terrible loneliness.
A child who had only just begun living the way she wanted.
A child who was only now beginning to understand love.
Melia could never allow such a child to retreat back into herself because of her.
Anything that hindered Ruby’s growth had to disappear.
‘I can do this.’
Royden would return next month.
‘I can control it.’
There was still time.
Just not right now.
Not in front of Ruby.
If she couldn’t erase these feelings, then she would have to hide them.
‘At least…’
At least in front of the child.
After all, pretending to hide pain was something she had done since childhood.
“…I’m sorry, Young Lady.”
Melia tried hard to force the corners of her trembling lips upward.
‘Slowly.’
She desperately thought only of happy memories.
Ruby smiling while putting sugar into milk.
The faint scent of blankets she had noticed when hugging Ruby earlier.
“….”
And before long, her usual warm smile finally returned.
“I think I got dizzy because I didn’t sleep enough.”
Even believable lies began to come naturally.
“I’ll make sure not to worry you again.”
“…Promise?”
Fortunately, Ruby’s breathing gradually steadied, and the trembling in her shoulders calmed.
The head maid and the other servants also returned to their tasks.
But Melia did not realize on that day—
that the Imperial Army had already passed the Kingdom of Arisa…
and was nearly at the border.
* * *
Countless crowds gathered in the streets.
Every person carried bouquets of flowers.
“It’s the knights! They’ve come to announce the victory!”
At one person’s shout, flowers rained onto the roads.
“The war is finally over!”
“Long live the Olga Empire! Long live His Majesty! Long live the Imperial Knights!”
Today was the day the Imperial Knights returned.
And the day Royden, commander of the Imperial Knights, returned home after many years.
“Commander, after reporting your return to His Majesty, what are your plans?”
One of the knights riding behind Royden asked.
“You’re not planning to skip all the celebrations and head home immediately, are y—”
But he immediately fell silent beneath Royden’s sharp gaze.
“I’m returning home.”
Royden gripped the reins tightly.
“There’s nothing enjoyable about staying here any longer.”
“…Enjoyment, huh.”
The knight looked at the flower petals drifting through the air.
“You’re unusual. Isn’t this sort of welcome usually considered enjoyable?”
The knight’s gaze followed the flowers until it landed on Royden’s black hair.
“If there’s no joy even in a place like this, then where exactly does your joy exist, Commander?”
At those words, Royden slightly loosened his grip on the reins.
He stared blankly at the cheering crowd.
‘There were many cheering people that day too.’
The first day they had won this war.
The day they achieved a precious victory after more than ten years of battle and received blessings from everyone.
“I see. Certainly…”
Yes.
Back then, he really had been happy.
He had thought he would soon return home to the family he loved.
He had bought gifts for Ruby there.
Gifts for Vanessa too.
He believed something even greater than this joy awaited him at home.
‘Meanwhile, my daughter was living in hell.’
He had been selfish.
Arrogant.
“I don’t deserve happiness.”
Nor peace.
Nor joy.
Nor tranquility.
‘That’s right. After sacrificing everything just to obtain this…’
This was penance.
Royden let out a faint breath and looked up at the sky.
The sky was beautifully blue.
But inside Royden, there was nothing except emptiness.
An endless loneliness and hollowness washed over him like a tide.
