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Chapter 18……………………
“But the original story is already ruined, isn’t it.”
There was no point in worrying about it. Three character OOC cases, one person—or rather, one dragon—who might also be OOC.
Feeling a dull ache in her normally fine head, she let out a light sigh.
“…Brother Gawen, let’s head back now.”
The growing attention from around them was starting to feel overwhelming. As she spoke, Gawen raised his arm and used his cloak to block the gazes of others.
“Alright.”
Surprised by the small gesture of consideration, she looked up at him. Gawen’s cheeks were faintly flushed as he averted his gaze.
Receiving such small kindness, they were able to return to the carriage. Once the door closed and the curtains were drawn over the window, only then did a relieved breath escape her.
“Haah….”
“You must have been startled to meet Prince Gwangwang.”
“It was an unexpected encounter.”
…And she hadn’t expected Shurandis to react so favorably either.
In the original story, Shurandis was the type of character who was indifferent to others but kind only to his woman.
“I was just a little surprised because he was different from the prince I had heard rumors about.”
Gawen’s eyes narrowed slightly.
“…I didn’t expect him to say something like that either.”
He tried to maintain composure, but his voice still seemed to tremble with embarrassment.
“That said, I’ve only met Prince Gwangwang a few times myself, so I’m not really in a position to say much.”
“…Is that so?”
“After his awakening as a dragon, he stayed only in the southern principality.”
Even as he spoke, Gawen frowned as if he couldn’t understand it, then relaxed his expression again.
“…I’m sorry. I should have told you earlier that the prince was staying in the capital. Our rare outing ended up like this.”
Regret appeared on Gawen’s face. It was awkward, but his apology was sincere.
“Brother.”
“I’ll take you back to the estate immediately since you want to… but if anything comes to mind at any time, just tell me. I’ll do anything for you.”
As expected of siblings, Gawen and Russell were alike even in speech. “I’ll do anything for you,” huh.
‘They’re probably just bad at apologizing.’
I disliked how calmly I was analyzing the situation. Was I already getting used to this OOC situation?
‘Am I seriously getting used to this?!’
No matter how adaptable humans were, I needed time! I still wasn’t used to it! Today alone had been full of incidents, and yet “adapting” was out of the question!
Was it just my imagination that events kept unfolding around me like I was the protagonist of a novel? It had to be an illusion!
I just wanted a quiet, leisurely life, far away from the now-nonexistent original story!
‘No, even if the original has completely collapsed, there’s still a chance.’
At nineteen, the awakening ceremony. Before that ceremony, I just needed to escape somewhere crowded with nobles. Becoming a priest would be best… but.
“Was there a special reason you wanted to visit the temple today?”
At Gawen’s curious question, she looked at him. He hesitated for a moment, but didn’t stop speaking.
“It’s the first time I’ve heard you say you wanted to go to the temple. If you needed something, I can get it for you instead.”
He looked like he would jump out of the carriage immediately if she needed anything. Seeing that, she suppressed a dry laugh.
“I just wanted to go since we were already out. Like you said, I’ve never been to the temple before.”
At times like this, she remembered something from her diary. People remember bad things for a long time—there really wasn’t anything wrong with that saying.
“No, it’s just… since Mother left for a distant villa to recover, I haven’t gone out like this at all. Honestly, it didn’t matter where we went.”
It was a casually thrown remark. At that, Gawen flinched like a frog hit by a stone. The change in his expression wasn’t dramatic.
But behind his calm face, she could see a flicker of regret in his eyes, which made her feel complicated.
‘Still, I feel more satisfied than anything.’
Strictly speaking, he hadn’t personally done anything directly to her, so was it really okay to keep poking at him like this?
But the moment she remembered that he had caused her mental breakdown through his OOC behavior, even a hint of guilt vanished.
‘Is this why people say you shouldn’t live committing sins?’
How was it that every word she said caused him emotional damage and made him scramble to hide his expression? At this point, it was almost pitiful. Of course, if this were a regression/revenge genre novel, this would be nothing.
“…From now on, I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”
“It’s okay, Brother Gawen.”
You want her to go through something like today again? No thanks. Suffocating situations were not welcome.
‘Besides, if I keep traveling with him, he might figure out my intentions.’
She didn’t know whether Gawen would support her or stop her, so it was better to be careful.
“Brother Gawen is the captain of the royal guard. He must already be busy. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you to make time like this.”
“That’s not something you need to worry about.”
Gawen spoke while looking at her with an almost desperate gaze.
“I’m simply making time for my little sister. It’s something I must do, especially to make up for everything I couldn’t do until now.”
His words carried a sense of resolve. With a light sigh, she turned her head away.
There was nothing more to say. Even when she casually threw out words that hurt him, nothing seemed to break his determination to make up for his past mistakes.
‘He’s determined.’
Even when it burned inside, he wouldn’t give up. No wonder he ended up as a male lead candidate or supporting character.
She honestly admired it. And just as strongly, it annoyed her.
‘If you guys had treated Erina properly, I wouldn’t have been possessed in the first place!’
Just thinking about it made her boil with anger. No, calm down. Blaming them wouldn’t change anything.
“Please don’t overdo it.”
That was why she said it so bluntly. Gawen’s eyes widened, as if he hadn’t expected it.
“If a vacancy suddenly appears… my mother alone is more than enough.”
After saying that, she closed her eyes. She didn’t need to see his reaction to imagine it.
Until they returned to the estate, Erina kept her eyes closed as if she didn’t want to speak anymore. Watching her, Gawen swallowed a sigh.
Every word Erina casually spoke felt like a sting. If only she had spoken with resentment, it wouldn’t have hurt this much. But she hadn’t.
Her words were calm, slightly regretful, and that was what hurt—because it was an irreversible mistake of his past.
‘Thinking about it…’
He had never once gone out with Erina. Aside from mandatory noble gatherings, they had never spent simple family time together.
A dull ache spread in Gawen’s chest. Only now did he understand what that meant.
When he was young, his mother had been healthy—kind, smiling, calling him her son, sharing warmth rather than strict etiquette. His childhood had been warm.
He had never consciously understood it, but in hindsight, that warmth had made his childhood… happy.
But what about Erina?
He couldn’t remember well. There was a significant age gap between them, and by the time he was old enough to understand, their mother had already left for treatment.
During that time, their father had been absent trying to find a cure, and the only one left to fill that role was him.
So he had been busy. Extremely busy. Managing the duchy’s affairs, taxes from territories, business matters passing through his hands, and his duties as a knight of the royal guard.
There had been no time to care for his youngest sister properly.
All that remained was a fifteen-year-old boy desperately trying to fill the absence of his parents.
So it had been like that.
At times, just looking at that small, round face had felt irritating. He had even wished she wouldn’t look for him. That was how overwhelmed he had been.
He had reached his limit.
When he had been struggling just to survive his responsibilities, what had Erina been doing?
While he and Russell trained and studied, while they were busy under their mother’s absence…
What had Erina felt alone at that age when she should have been held in her mother’s warmth?
He looked at her, leaning quietly in the carriage. Seventeen years old now. The seven-year-old child had become a young woman.
And yet, why did she still look so small in his eyes?
Why did she still seem like a lost child stuck in the past?
Gawen clenched his fist tightly. Regret was rising like a tide.
Perhaps, because he had been too busy, he had deprived his sister of something irreplaceable.
Or perhaps something even worse.
Something he had vaguely sensed now took shape and stood clearly before him.
It bared its sharp teeth, opening a massive maw as if to devour him whole, saliva dripping from its mouth.
That thing… was Gawen himself.
His own selfish past—the thought that his youngest sister was troublesome, that it might be better if she simply didn’t exist.
A past that could never be undone.
