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Chapter 10
Cahinel drank the juice I made as if he had been waiting for it with bated breath.
It felt good that he finally drank it, but…
the unexpected reaction completely ruined the plan I had carefully set up to repeat yesterday’s situation and use it to initiate physical contact.
‘I can’t just go back to my room like this.’
I had to confirm it.
Whether physical contact was really the key or not.
“I have a favor to ask.”
“What is it?”
“Can I hug you?”
Pffft!
An orange fountain burst out.
“Did I hear that correctly?”
“Judging by the juice you just spat all over me, yes—you did.”
Cahinel roughly wiped the juice from his mouth, growling.
“No.”
“Then what about holding hands?”
“That’s also refused. What exactly do you want from me?”
He slammed the glass down.
It hit the table so hard a thin crack formed at the bottom.
“Say what you really want. Stop talking nonsense.”
What I really want?
I stepped closer to him.
“I need you.”
I’m running out of time.
Only three months left until my death birthday.
* * *
“I don’t know what to do now…”
Because I said something insane like “I need you,” Cahinel probably wouldn’t even eat with me anymore.
“Haah…”
Sighs kept spilling out of me.
I curled up on the bed, burying my face in my knees.
Was I too reckless? Too impatient? Even if I was acting without a plan, wasn’t this too much?
“But I really don’t have time…”
Is it selfish of me to just not want to hurt anymore?
Is it that hard to just live comfortably and do what I want?
‘Well… back in my previous life, my illness didn’t even have a cure.’
Becoming a healthy person had always been difficult for me.
But that was because I didn’t know how back then.
Now it was different.
There was a cure—and it lived in the same house as me.
Cahinel.
So I couldn’t give up.
If there had been no hope from the start, maybe I could have.
But once I knew there was hope, I couldn’t let go.
“Maybe I should’ve just asked to hold hands…”
Same thing, different wording.
If the goal was physical contact, even a handshake would’ve been enough.
“It’s ridiculously hard to even hold someone’s hand…”
The more Cahinel backed away from me, the more I ended up cursing that damn Deil family.
‘Seriously, if they hadn’t provoked Cahinel so much… why am I the one paying for it?’
Nothing about this situation was fair.
I got a second life miraculously, only to end up with a time limit again.
My “husband” doesn’t trust me no matter what I do.
And everyone avoids me because of the terrifying “outcast” image the original Rishua left behind.
“Milady, here’s warm chamomile tea.”
Anna brought tea and sweets when she saw I wasn’t in a good mood.
“Thanks.”
At least I had Anna.
But the one I really needed wasn’t her.
It was Cahinel.
I sent Anna out and was left alone again.
“…Are you seriously going to be like this?”
The moment I was alone, the curse activated.
My chest tightened painfully as I grabbed the handkerchief I had thrown aside in frustration.
My movements were slow because of the pain, even though my mind was urgent.
I pressed it to my nose and inhaled deeply.
“It hurts so much…”
I don’t want to hurt anymore.
I didn’t want to live every day afraid of when the pain would strike next.
As I kept breathing in the faint scent left on Cahinel’s handkerchief, my condition slowly stabilized.
But I didn’t have the strength to stand.
Even then, I was still clutching the handkerchief tightly.
“If I didn’t have this, what would I have done…”
I held it carefully and closed my eyes.
I wasn’t exactly sleepy, but my consciousness began to fade from exhaustion.
* * *
A pale light filled the room.
It felt like someone was stabbing my heart with nails.
Even unconscious, I couldn’t endure the pain.
I tried to survive using the handkerchief, but it wasn’t enough.
The curse was especially cruel at dawn.
Dragging my nearly collapsing body, I went out into the hallway.
The Duke’s castle in the dark night was quiet—almost still.
And I, walking through it, looked like a zombie.
I leaned on the wall as I moved.
When I reached Cahinel’s bedroom, I slid down the door and sat against it.
‘He’s still not back…?’
The energy leaking through the gap was faint.
I didn’t have the strength to look for him, so I relied on the scent on the handkerchief and the thin trace of his presence.
It took longer than usual to stabilize, but I managed to survive the night again.
I tried to return to my room.
But my body wouldn’t move.
It felt like I was sinking to the bottom of a deep lake, bound to a stone.
Maybe I had overexerted myself.
My mind also felt strangely calm.
‘I’m going to get scolded by Anna and Cahinel again…’
With that thought, I closed my eyes.
* * *
Cahinel looked down at his sleeping wife in front of his room with a conflicted expression.
‘Why is she sleeping here again?’
He rubbed his brow, frowning.
He disliked how she ignored his mood and kept forcing herself into his space.
But what irritated him even more… was that he couldn’t stop paying attention to her.
He didn’t trust her. Not even now.
But lately, he had begun to think he might have to.
Ever since she started smiling and running toward him like a rabbit, she had become bothersome, noisy… annoying.
Was it that smile?
He couldn’t ignore her.
Not when she rambled, not when she brought breakfast, not when she waited for him.
Once, Albert had said:
“Milady is in the dining room.”
“So?”
“She hasn’t eaten breakfast or snacks.”
“What’s your point?”
“She’s been waiting for you for an hour.”
That had irritated him beyond belief.
He told himself he could just ignore it.
But before he realized it, he was already walking down to the dining room.
“Why are you suddenly like this?”
He had asked that many times.
And every time, her answer was the same:
“I want to get closer to you, Cahinel!”
And she kept coming closer.
“I wish she would just stay the same…”
Wouldn’t it be easier if they simply ignored each other like before?
Cahinel sighed deeply.
If she wouldn’t ignore him, he would.
“…Hn.”
She shifted in her sleep.
His steps toward his room stopped.
He tried to ignore her—but he couldn’t.
It was too bothersome.
He knelt down to her level.
Her golden hair shimmered softly in the hallway light like starlight in the night sky.
Carefully, he lifted her into his arms.
“Can I hug you?”
He let out a tired laugh at the memory from the morning.
He had clearly refused her—and now she was in his arms anyway.
He carried her to her room, but when he opened the door, darkness swallowed everything.
The moonlight wasn’t enough to calm his unease.
He couldn’t go inside.
“…Damn it.”
His breathing grew rough.
His chest tightened, and the woman in his arms shifted slightly.
He stepped back out of the darkness, exhaling in relief—but quietly so she wouldn’t wake.
‘Should I take her to my room?’
He immediately shook his head.
No chance.
She was already eyeing his bed like a predator.
Eventually, still holding her, he went downstairs.
He kicked open a door.
Bang. Bang.
“Who is it at this hour—Your Grace?”
Taylor jolted awake immediately.
“Come with me.”
“Where—and why are you holding—”
Cahinel didn’t answer and walked ahead.
Taylor followed, stunned.
Only then did he notice the bright golden hair in his arms.
“Why are you carrying the lady?”
“She was sleeping in front of my room.”
“…Again?”
Cahinel didn’t answer.
That made it even stranger.
Taylor had never seen Cahinel react before when she fell asleep outside his room.
He always ignored it.
So why now?
Unable to find an answer, Taylor followed him up to the third floor—the private quarters of the Duke and his wife.