IRER 04

Chapter 04

 We Can’t Keep Living Like This

With Brody supporting him, the Grand Duke was dragged along and collapsed onto the bed just like before—rolling over with a thud.

And just like last time, he held her in his arms.

Also like last time, he buried his face deep into the nape of her neck and inhaled.

“…Your Highness.”

Maybe he thought, “It’s easy after the first time.”

Brody felt that he was being a little more persistent than he had been that night. Once again, his sorrowful eyes shook her resolve.

‘Ah, seriously… I guess there’s no helping it.’

Without resistance, Brody accepted his lips.

And once more, she passed a meshu leaf into his mouth.

This time, in a larger amount than before.

‘It’s not like I can do this every time.’

Fortunately, Aydan couldn’t resist the effects of the meshu and soon fell asleep.

However, he was holding her so tightly that Brody couldn’t escape from his arms.

She had planned to wait until he fell into a deep sleep and then slip out, but the meshu made her drowsy too, and she ended up dozing off in his embrace.

Just before dawn, Brody opened her eyes.

But his arm was still wrapped around her, and she couldn’t move an inch.

The more she squirmed, the tighter his grip became, so she eventually gave up.

Unable to rise, she fell into thought.

‘Why is this happening in the first place?’

Brody looked at Aydan, sleeping peacefully.

The meshu had clearly worked well.

He seemed like someone with sharp senses and a work addiction, yet he was now sleeping soundly.

“Why do you want meshu, Your Highness?”

She whispered as she gently brushed his furrowed brow with her index finger.

As expected, Aydan, deeply asleep, only inhaled and exhaled in a steady rhythm and didn’t wake.

‘He probably doesn’t even know I gave him meshu. Maybe it’s not the tea he wants, but the meshu itself. Is he really unable to sleep peacefully without it?’

She couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sympathy.

But perhaps he only wanted it because he didn’t know it was meshu—a plant with sedative effects.

If he found out this comfort came from a drug, he might reject it.

After all, he was the leader of a rebellion in the middle of a war.

This was a time when he needed his nerves razor-sharp. Relying on meshu would be dangerous.

‘Not that it’s really any of my business.’

If what he needed was meshu, then Brody didn’t have to be by his side.

Whether he used it or not was his decision.

‘Anyway… has this man always needed a woman like this every night? Going around begging other women, acting all innocent?’

Thinking about it that way made her feel unpleasant.

Maybe she’d only felt sorry for him because she got ahead of herself, assuming things because of his handsome face and mysterious air.

After several more failed attempts to escape, Brody finally managed to free herself after a while.

She walked around the tent quietly.

Perhaps sensing movement, she heard someone outside.

‘Damn. Looks like the security’s been tightened.’

Realizing escape would be harder than before, she frowned.

‘I’ll have to wait for the right moment. I need to come up with a plan to survive a few more days.’

Once she left Aydan’s arms, the warmth disappeared quickly.

Shivering, Brody moved closer to the brazier.

‘I hate the cold.’

Instinctively, she recalled the moment in her past life when she’d faced death—trapped in a warehouse on a freezing night before the fire broke out.

Her face turned pale, and she felt the chill stiffen her hands and feet.

‘He’s from the North, and the imperial capital is in the central region, so we’re likely heading south. I hate the North. I really do.’

Even though she scooted right up to the brazier, the chill that seeped into her bones refused to leave.

She curled up as tightly as she could.

Only the parts of her body closest to the brazier were hot, while her back and shoulders stayed cold—it was infuriating.

She missed heated floors and electric blankets.

A wave of sorrow washed over her.

Her nose tingled, and her eyes filled with tears.

But she bit her lip and held back.

‘No matter how hard life here gets, it won’t be as bad as my previous life. With my talents, I can survive just fine here. My life is just getting started! There’s no reason to cry! Perseverance is my specialty! Think positive!’

Trying to distract herself with daydreams of a happy future, she hugged her fatigue from the past few nights and nodded off.

“Watch out!”

A sudden shout made Brody’s eyes snap open.

Right in front of her was the face of the Grand Duke of the Ice Wall, with his pitch-black hair and blue eyes.

Startled, Brody sat upright.

‘Wait—did I sit up just now?’

She quickly realized what had just nearly happened.

Aydan’s hand was between her head and the brazier.

She must have dozed off and nearly fallen into the fire. Aydan had caught her just in time.

Understanding the situation, Brody blushed and bowed her head.

It was her way of saying thank you.

‘She talks even less than I do.’

Aydan, who had often been scolded by his aides for being too reserved, shook his head.

He suddenly realized—they hadn’t even introduced themselves.

‘She probably knows who I am, though.’

He looked at Brody, wondering what to say.

Then he noticed her eyes were red.

‘Did… did she cry?’

His conscience pricked him.

His memory was blurry, but he had definitely spent the night with this woman.

He had tried to ask for her consent—but her distant demeanor now made it clear: it hadn’t been entirely her choice.

He regretted his behavior, but felt a little wronged too.

‘Why do I even feel this way?’

He recalled her scent.

Fresh like leaves, but steady like tree bark.

Even now, it lingered faintly—reminding him of the overwhelming feeling he had when he’d buried his face in her embrace.

He’d always hated being touched, but for some reason, he kept wanting to get closer to her.

When he finally did, the new sensations nearly drove him mad.

He had never slept with a woman before.

Not because he’d been repressing himself, but simply because the desire hadn’t really existed.

‘But I definitely wanted her. This woman…’

And he couldn’t deny how satisfied he’d felt.

From start to finish, every part of it.

A deep, restful sleep, a refreshed body, and a clear mind without the usual headaches.

With his condition improved, everything felt sharper and more manageable.

He even came up with a strategy to capture a fortress he had struggled with for weeks—all while chasing her.

‘What’s going on? What did she do to me? If she did something—why?’

Had she used an aphrodisiac? But how? She would’ve been searched thoroughly.

If she wanted the position of Grand Duchess, would she be acting so indifferent?

Or if she simply wanted his body, would she have cried like that? Or tried to run away the night before?

No. This woman wanted nothing from him.

Which meant the tea she’d served was the only possible cause—for both the disappearance of his headache and everything else that had happened.

For the first time since the war began, he felt hope.

And to maintain this condition, he needed her.

He decided to treat her well.

“Are you cold?”

Startled by Aydan’s sudden question, Brody nodded.

He draped a long cloak made of thick black fur over her shoulders.

It had been his own, so when she wore it, it trailed on the ground.

But the cold that had been gnawing into her bones began to ease.

“What’s your name?”

Why ask her name now?

Brody had no intention of getting involved any deeper, so she stammered and gave a fake one.

“Br…Brio.”

Damn. Her improvisation and creativity were terrible—it was too close to her real name.

“Brie, huh.”

Finally having a real conversation with the Grand Duke, Brody looked straight into his eyes.

It felt strange, seeing him awake like this.

‘Why is he called the Grand Duke of the Ice Wall?’

He didn’t seem as cold or cruel as the rumors claimed.

His face looked scary when he frowned, but now—with the vertical crease between his brows gone—he seemed almost gentle. Still stoic, but not unkind.

Brody stared at him intently, and he blushed and cleared his throat.

No one had ever looked at him like this before. Most people couldn’t even meet his eyes.

But this prisoner woman was calm and unhurried with him.

A strange feeling welled up inside him.

“Your Highness, it’s time for the meeting.”

The aide’s sudden call broke the delicate atmosphere.

Aydan stood in front of Brody and said awkwardly,

“I’ll be back. Escaping is impossible, so don’t even think about trying.”

Brody blinked at him with wide eyes.

That wasn’t how I meant to say it…

Cursing his lack of eloquence, Aydan turned away.

While the Grand Duke was gone, Brody couldn’t leave the tent and had no choice but to wait.

She served him tea when he returned—that was her whole routine.

The rest of the time, she mostly slept from sheer exhaustion.

Aydan, engrossed in his work, didn’t care what Brody did as long as she stayed quiet.

Now free from headaches, he operated like a man freed from shackles—swiftly handling tasks and finalizing battle plans.

Soon, night came again.

‘He doesn’t want tea. He wants the meshu.’

Brody was certain.

When she had served him regular tea without meshu, it hadn’t worked.

So she had to serve tea laced with meshu.

‘But if I use meshu…’

His glazed-over eyes would return, and he’d start clinging to her again.

‘I need to make sure that doesn’t happen.’

Determined, Brody added an unusually large amount of meshu to the tea.

‘With this much in it, there’s no way he’ll stay awake.’

The dose was nearly toxic.

Just in case of side effects, she planned to feed him the antidote the next day.

Aydan drank the tea without suspicion.

The moment he emptied the cup, he dropped it—and collapsed onto the desk.

‘Di…did it work? Wait, this isn’t sleep—it’s more like passing out!’

Panicking, Brody rushed to him.

Thankfully, he was still breathing.

Grunting, she managed to carry him to the bed.

But something felt off.

When his breathing grew irregular, she turned pale.

‘I…I gave him too much!’

Quickly, Brody mixed the antidote she had prepared with water, held it in her mouth, and gently poured it into his.

It was her first time doing anything like this, and seeing someone on the verge of suffocation made her flustered. The water kept spilling.

Only after several tries did she confirm that his breathing and pulse had returned to normal.

Relieved, she finally let out a long sigh.

The next morning, Aydan woke up perfectly fine.

He looked refreshed, without the usual furrowed brow—and said nothing to Brody.

‘I… I did it! I just have to get the dose right!’

She rejoiced inwardly.

Once she nailed the perfect dose of meshu, she would hand over both the recipe and the antidote—and ask to be released.

That night, she again served him tea with meshu.

He drank it without question. This time, after being helped to bed by Brody, he fell asleep peacefully.

It seemed the dosage was just right.

Satisfied, Brody smiled and lay down beside him, back turned.

But the next morning…

Brody was once again met with the terrifying face of the Grand Duke.