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CHAPTER 12
Calyon picked up on anything he could use as an excuse, and the only thing in sight was the bed, so I blurted out whatever came to mind.
Despite how flimsy the excuse was, Calyon didn’t doubt it and nodded readily.
Honestly, it was a little worrying how deeply he believed my “amnesia” story.
“I understand. Please wait a moment.”
Calyon asked Senez for permission, and Senez glanced in my direction.
For a moment I worried that rude bastard might start picking on me again, but he soon looked away and slung a bag over his shoulder.
“Then I’ll go. Just exchange as usual?”
“Thanks, Brother.”
It looked like Senez was going to restock supplies in his place.
He walked past me casually, brushing by as if I wasn’t even there.
“……”
For some reason, his back drew my attention.
Maybe it was because I was seeing Senez’s back properly for the first time.
“Master. Shall we go inside?”
“Oh, yes.”
When I opened the door, Calyon went in first. I followed and closed it behind us.
“Hmm. Master?”
Calyon checked the bed and said, slightly puzzled,
“The bed sheets already seem to have been changed…”
“Sorry. That was a lie.”
“…Pardon?”
“I just wanted to be alone with you, Calyon.”
My throat suddenly tightened.
Was it because I lied?
I pressed my trembling chest with my palm, but it didn’t calm down at all.
“Before we part… I wanted to know how you feel.”
When I looked up at Calyon, his expression stiffened.
He was probably confused. Honestly, I was too. I wasn’t the type to drag a man into a room like this so suddenly.
Last night, after confirming that Calyon had feelings for me too, I had thought I’d properly seduce him once we reached the village… but this was more impulsive than planned.
“Is this… uncomfortable?”
“Huh? No, it’s not. I just… think this is not right.”
Calyon seemed to struggle to find the right words, bringing a hand to his mouth, frowning, then straightening his posture and bowing his head slightly.
“Master. I am not someone suited for you. I cannot settle in one place, nor can I promise you a future. For someone like me to form an intimate relationship with you would be irresponsible. So…”
In other words, he was saying he couldn’t take responsibility for me, so he shouldn’t get closer.
Very like Calyon. If I didn’t have a limited lifespan, I might have completely fallen for those words.
“So am I.”
“…Pardon?”
“Everyone is like that, aren’t they? No one knows what will happen tomorrow. It’s not just people who fight monsters in battlefields who are in danger. You can fall down stairs and die, get hit by a cart and die—it’s just life.”
Of course, ordinary people don’t usually think they’ll die tomorrow, but I didn’t have much time left.
If anything, I might die sooner than Calyon, who risked his life fighting monsters.
“I’m not asking you to promise me a future. I don’t want that either.”
If anything, that would be more of a problem for me.
“I just wanted to know how you feel. Whether you feel the same as me.”
“Like you… feel?”
“I won’t beat around the bush. Before we part… I wanted to sleep with you once.”
Calyon’s body jolted. That was probably too direct for someone who had been flustered at the slightest touch. But he wasn’t naive enough not to understand.
Honestly, I didn’t even fully understand my own feelings.
Curiosity about an attractive man. Impulsive desire. The wish to make a memory before this short second life ended.
And the selfish hope that someone would see me as special.
And that I wanted that someone to be Calyon.
It probably wasn’t love.
I wasn’t romantic enough to fall in love so suddenly.
It was unfair to Calyon—I knew that. Still, I wanted it.
Not just for physical satisfaction…
I wanted to leave something behind between us.
They say even the dead get their wishes fulfilled—why shouldn’t a dying person?
“Master. Do you mean…?”
“You don’t need to think about responsibility or obligation.”
I stepped closer. Even though I wasn’t touching him, his posture stiffened.
“Sometimes it’s fine to play with fire, don’t you think?”
I placed my hand on his chest. He let out a small sound. His eyes darted around as if searching for excuses, but the fact that he hadn’t refused outright meant he had already lost.
I slid my hand up to his collarbone.
“Ah…”
When I grabbed his collar, he looked flustered but still allowed himself to be pulled closer. As he bent down and I rose onto my toes, our faces drew near.
Sunlight from two windows filled the room, making everything bright.
It was perfect—I could see his flushed face clearly.
“Can I kiss you?”
“Huh? Ah, I…!”
I didn’t wait for an answer. By the time our faces were close, my mouth was already watering.
I took his lips—the same ones I had lightly tasted last night.
At first touch, they were meltingly soft, but when I gently bit and sucked his lower lip, they were surprisingly firm.
Cool, sweet fragrance.
If sugar snow fell in winter, it might feel like this.
When I blew a soft breath into the gap, Calyon’s eyes widened in shock. His suspended hands trembled.
I released his collar and wrapped my arms around his neck.
“It’s okay. Keep going.”
As I coaxed him with my tongue and clung to him, he supported my waist. His arms were still tense, awkward with the embrace.
He had no problem lifting me effortlessly before, so why was he so clumsy now?
Like a child who forgot how to breathe from nervousness.
As I teased him with small tongue taps and repeated light kisses, his heated lips parted, and his breath grew more urgent.
It felt like a loose rope suddenly tightening around my body.
The gentle contact deepened. His still-tense neck grew damp with excitement.
Calyon… he learns fast.
My hands moved from his neck to the back of his head, brushing his warm ear and cheek. His hand on my waist slowly moved upward.
His awkward touch—like he didn’t know what to do but still tried—only fueled the excitement further.
His gentle hands, as if afraid I might break, felt oddly pleasant. And the way he tried so hard to respond despite clearly not knowing how to touch a woman… was cute.
“Calyon…”
I stepped closer, pressing my body against his. The air around us grew hotter. Even through clothes, the friction of skin through fabric was intense.
Rustling cloth and ragged breathing mixed together.
His grip on my back tightened. The veins in his arms stood out clearly even through fabric.
Every time I moved, he tensed further. Was it too much stimulation?
But I wasn’t patient enough to teach him slowly.
I bit into his lips again. A soft moan slipped out, his breath turning uneven. The always calm and composed man trembled as he struggled to suppress his instincts.
It was strangely thrilling.
Not domination—more like the tension of pulling out a single unstable block in a Jenga tower.
The still water rippled violently. Our tongues met and slid, sending a sharp wave of heat through me.
It was the first time I had ever felt this aroused just from kissing.
“Calyon.”
My breathing grew heavy. Was it the posture?
Before I could recover, Calyon kissed me again—this time not hesitant, but instinctively desperate.
He sucked lightly at my lips, then pushed his tongue inside. Our saliva mixed thickly, filling my mouth.
The sweetness melted through my body. I felt like I could drown in it without regret.
As I went limp against him, he finally broke the kiss and adjusted his hold.
“Master. Are you alright?”
“…It’s a bit overwhelming.”
His eyes wavered—he must have thought I was rejecting him.
I quickly corrected him before he misunderstood further.
“You’re tall, so even standing on tiptoes makes my neck hurt.”
“…I’m sorry.”
“No need to apologize. Just… could you lower yourself a bit?”
I pushed his chest slightly, signaling him to lie down, but he didn’t move. When I looked up confused, his lips relaxed into a small smile.
Why is he smiling?
Then he blinked and suddenly lifted me.
“Eek! Calyon?”
“Is this better?”
My feet left the ground in an instant.
He supported my hips and held my waist, but suddenly being lifted made me uneasy, so I grabbed his shoulders.
For the first time, I was looking down at him instead of up.
His face was still red—but no longer anxious.
He parted his moist lips and said,
“Let’s do it again.”
Oh my god.
Who knew Calyon could be like this?
His smile, eyes gently curved, was dazzling enough to make my mind blur.
