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Chapter 4
Reina sat in the carriage beside Calix.
Across from them sat Maya.
Reina and Maya exchanged glances.
Avoiding Jonathan’s eyes, Reina had quietly told Maya their destination and asked her to arrange a trustworthy coachman.
That look had been to confirm whether Maya had followed her instructions.
Maya understood immediately and gave a small nod.
As someone from a knightly family, Maya’s loyalty to Reina was exceptional.
She was sharp-witted and tight-lipped—Reina’s only reliable ally in the estate.
At least I have Maya.
While Reina felt a sense of relief, the carriage carrying the three of them began to move.
Reina turned her gaze out the window.
She tried to focus on the scenery, but it was no use.
Now it’s really…
She quietly pressed a hand to her forehead.
I’m screwed.
Reina keenly felt the ominous future awaiting her.
That was probably why, earlier, she had instinctively broken character and smacked Jonathan on the back.
Instead of fixing the situation, she had ended up making the same choice as the original novel’s heroine.
Calix was undoubtedly a pitiful and fragile child.
Reina knew from the original story how he had been treated in the Ingersoll Grand Ducal House.
That was precisely why she had never intended to interfere with the story.
Because if she met Calix, she knew she wouldn’t be able to ignore him.
“Haah…”
Reina let out a small sigh.
What’s done is done. I just need to think of a way to fix it.
She had to protect Calix—without ending up falsely accused like the heroine.
But I can’t just avoid Lucius and hide forever.
Reina expected Lucius would soon track down Jonathan.
Lucius will come to the Krolot family.
If she had to face Lucius anyway—
Reina bit her lip.
Then I need to be completely cleared of suspicion by that time.
How could she do that?
First, I hide Calix…
She clenched her fist.
And then I help Lucius from his side.
Pretend to assist him, while feeding him false information so he couldn’t find Calix right away.
I need to buy as much time as possible.
Reina recalled something the heroine had said in the original story:
“It’s a misunderstanding, Your Grace! I only took care of Calix and searched for a way to cure his illness!”
The heroine had tried to prove that she had been helping Calix.
Because she believed that if only Calix had been cured, the war wouldn’t have happened.
But by then, Calix was already dead.
No matter how much she pleaded, Lucius never believed her.
When Reina had first read the story, she thought it was just a device to highlight the heroine’s tragedy.
But now that she herself had possessed Reina’s body, those words had become her only lifeline.
“There is definitely a way. If only I had a little more time…”
The heroine had been certain—a way to cure Calix existed.
I have to find out what that is.
Because if Calix lives, she lives too.
Reina quietly turned her gaze toward him.
Since getting into the carriage, Calix hadn’t said a single word.
His hands were folded on his lap, his head lowered.
Like someone who had already given up on everything.
He must have learned how to give up from everything he’s been through.
The Ingersoll Grand Ducal House only wanted to exploit his illness, and the sanatorium director only cared about money.
No wonder he ran away and became a wandering orphan.
As Reina felt a pang of sympathy, her eyes suddenly widened.
Calix was pinching the back of his hand.
It seemed to be a habit—scabs had already formed there.
“What are you doing?”
At Reina’s question, Calix flinched.
Reina realized her mistake.
She had spoken in her usual cold tone without thinking.
“Stop it.”
But even her next words came out harsher than intended, making her more flustered.
Calix paused briefly at her words, then resumed.
His anxiety and unease had reached their peak.
I did something stupid.
Calix regretted his foolishness.
He had followed a stranger simply because he didn’t want to go home.
He recalled the conversation he had overheard between the man and woman at the estate.
The carriage he was in was probably heading toward the place where he would die.
Would it have been better if I had stayed at the sanatorium?
…Of course not.
No matter what choice he made, he would have ended up unhappy.
Because I’m destined to be unhappy.
With that thought, his hand grew rougher against his skin.
It was a habit he couldn’t break, no matter how many times he was scolded.
Each time, his uncle would harshly yell at him to stop such disgraceful behavior.
I have to stop before I get scolded…
But his body wouldn’t obey him.
His face twisted in distress.
“Stop.”
A warm, gentle hand softly took hold of his.
“It hurts.”
At Reina’s words, Calix looked at the back of his hand.
It hurts.
Only then did he feel the pain.
It stung and burned—so why hadn’t he noticed before?
He should stop because it hurt, but all he had thought was that adults disliked it.
When Calix finally stopped, Reina took out a handkerchief from her pocket.
“You said you’d stay quietly if we let you stay here—without seeing, hearing, or saying anything, right?”
She wrapped the handkerchief around his hand.
“I used to say things like that a lot too.”
With a faint, cold smile, Reina recalled her past life.
After losing her parents in elementary school, she had been passed around between relatives.
Even when she simply picked up a spoon to eat, the adults would sigh.
They treated her like a burden.
New school supplies, new clothes, being included in family time—those were things she couldn’t even hope for.
I won’t ask for anything, so please don’t hate me.
The moment she heard Calix’s plea—no, ever since she read the original story—she had seen herself in his childhood.
She understood better than anyone what he must have felt.
That was why she couldn’t turn away from him like the adults who had mistreated her.
“If you want too much, you’ll be seen as greedy.”
Calix slowly lifted his head to look at her.
“But if you only ask for one thing, maybe they’ll think you’re a good child.”
Surprise filled his eyes.
Just like Reina, he had tried to be that kind of child.
“I only wished not to be hated. But in the end…”
Reina tied the knot on the handkerchief and met his gaze.
“That just meant I wanted to be loved.”
“…That…”
Calix’s lips trembled.
“That’s actually the biggest greed of all.”
He had always wondered why even wishing for just one thing was so hard.
Only after being abandoned at the sanatorium did he realize—
That one wish was greater than all other desires combined.
And he had dared to want it.
“It’s not greed.”
Reina spoke calmly.
“It’s natural for a child to complain, and it’s natural for a child to be loved.”
“……”
“A child who tries to be loved deserves even more love.”
Calix bit his lip tightly.
Something deep inside his chest began to swell, hot and heavy.
It felt like it might burst, stinging at the bridge of his nose.
Soon, his eyes turned red, and his vision blurred.
“But no one…”
No one loves me.
Tears rolled silently down his cheeks.
Seeing him cry without a sound, Reina reached into her pocket again.
Along with the handkerchief, she always carried something else—
Candy wrapped in paper.
Reina, who had weak lungs and often coughed, always carried candy at the count and countess’s insistence.
Recently, people in the empire had been born with minor incurable illnesses.
Rumors said the land itself was contaminated, but Reina thought it was just speculation.
After all, her current body was perfectly fine.
Good thing I carried these anyway.
She held out the candy to Calix.
“Whenever you feel like picking at your hand, eat this instead.”
Calix’s gaze dropped to the candy in her hand.
“I’ll give you candy tomorrow too. And the day after that.”
“……”
“Instead of hurting yourself, I want you to look forward to what kind of candy you’ll get.”
Reina placed the candy into his hesitant hand.
“Listen carefully.”
Her tone still came out like a command, but Calix didn’t flinch.
Unlike her cold voice, her hands were warm.
“If you don’t want to, I won’t send you back anywhere. And I won’t sell you to slave traders.”
Calix’s mouth slowly fell open.
“I’ll let you stay somewhere safe when we arrive.”
Somewhere he would be safe—from Lucius and the Ingersoll Grand Ducal House.
“So you have to help me too. Can you do that?”
Calix looked at her with trembling eyes.
As he blinked, the tears gathered at the corners fell.
But no more came after that.
The suffocating heaviness in his chest, like being crushed under a stone, slowly began to fade.
“I can do it.”
Instead, his heart began to beat quickly—filled with hope and anticipation
