PAMF 20

Chapter 20

The Person I Know Is Actually My Past Life

“What kind of nonsense is that?”

I was utterly dumbfounded.

I raised one eyebrow at the words Lilith whispered to me.

“God created me first. As a human.”

After all that tension, that was the ridiculous answer I got.

“Huh?”

Oh, what’s with that reaction now?

I straightened the bent posture I had been holding and felt a bit irritated at Lilith, who had her hand pressed to her cheek.

I thought she was teasing me with baseless nonsense, using sophistry, even though we had known each other since my first life, when I was favored by God.

“It seems Your Highness doesn’t realize…”

But then she said something unexpected.

“You don’t seem to know how dangerous this is.”

No, that’s not what we’re talking about right now.

I smiled wryly and, covering my mouth with one hand, asked Lilith brusquely:

“You recognized me, didn’t you? Isn’t it strange for me to hide it now?”

There was no danger unless it was a special case like Lilith, who could perceive my identity even in a different form.

Moreover, I hadn’t revealed it to anyone else who understood me completely—except Ulrika, like Hecate or Jeff.

There’s no one left in the world who would understand, and even if I told them, it would just cause confusion. There was no need to create unnecessary trouble.

After hundreds of years of life, I wouldn’t foolishly repeat actions that would shorten my lifespan.

“That’s true, indeed.”

So hurry up and explain who it is that hates me!

I pushed down the words that rose up in my throat and decided to change the subject.

“I’m different from back then, as you can see.”

Honestly, I wanted to interrogate the one who supposedly hated me.

But if I did, that serpent would wrap her nonsense in complicated words, and it would waste another hour. I couldn’t know how much she would tease me, pretending to reveal little by little.

So I decided to steer the conversation differently.

“You don’t have divine power anymore, so how did you recognize me?”

Better to go this way. I changed my mind and looked up at Lilith.

I hadn’t cared much before, but I needed to know how the serpent recognized me in a different body.

“Of course… it’s because of those special eyes.”

Why does she smile so ominously? I blinked, and Lilith raised the corner of her mouth.

“Your noble purple eyes, you see.”

Finishing her words, Lilith moved her right hand.

Calmly and slowly, with a pleased expression, she extended her fingers, then moved her index finger to cover the exact point where our eyes met, and fell silent for a moment.

“Because they are allowed for only one person in this world.”

Breaking the instant silence, she removed her hand and looked at me.

For a while, Lilith stared as if she were looking beyond my eyes, then placed both hands on the desk and leaned forward.

“So, how did I recognize you?”

Curiosity instantly filled Lilith’s face as she added the question.

“It’s been centuries since we last saw each other.”

“Your name and face are the same as they were back in the ancient times.”

I sighed with my eyes closed.

“Next time, I’ll have to use a fake name.”

“Useless.”

Unless someone repeatedly reincarnates and becomes a completely different person from their past life, simply using a different name cannot fully hide one’s identity.

‘Eventually, great beings are forgotten.’

Hearing Lilith speak reminded me of the founding myths Sasha mentioned.

‘Even the gods did not remember the great beings.’

The reason I, the first human, was loved by the second humanity back in ancient times was that God had created me first.

‘What if one of them is the great being mentioned in the myths?’

Lilith didn’t explain properly, so if I were to speculate, the one who supposedly hates me might be among them.

‘No, that’s absurd.’

But still, I judged it as implausible.

‘A mere human’s account of the myth is not to be trusted.’

The stories told by Elaylana, Sasha, and countless other scholars were the same.

‘Besides, over countless lives…’

I had felt it myself over a long life.

‘No one could ever stand in my way.’

There was nothing that could stop me.

Even though I lived through poor and miserable lives in between, I had never failed to achieve what I wanted. If I wished for ten things, I would obtain all ten, no matter the hardships.

‘If the one who was created before me hated me, they would have interfered with everything I did.’

Of course, finding just one answer to God’s question in my current life, centuries later, is another matter. That was something I had never been able to grasp.

‘Ugh, the serpent’s useless talk has only made my head more complicated!’

It’s nonsense to think there’s a being who hates my perfect self. Confused, I ran my hands through my hair.

“Are you confused learning about a new being?”

Then Lilith, seeing me, let out a high-pitched laugh.

“Well, I only found out recently too, so imagine how much more confusing it must be for you.”

Really. I gritted my teeth in my mind.

‘She’s the only one excited!’

Glancing around, Poppy was dozing with drool, and the theory class had ended, so I decided to leave quickly.

“It seems the class is over, so I’ll be going now.”

I didn’t want to waste time in a childish argument with the serpent.

“Oh, is that so?”

Just as I was about to get up, Lilith commented in a tone implying, “Where are you going?”

“The tour of the training grounds isn’t over yet.”

Damn it. I thought I was free, but suddenly it felt like lightning struck my head.

‘Unbelievable.’

After hardships, more hardships awaited.

Despite my irritation and gloom, the weather was bright.

Cheng!

I watched the clouds stretched across the sky like cotton candy and turned my head at the sound of clashing swords. We had reached the training grounds.

Cheng, cheng!

Soon, passing the entrance, my view opened up.

Knights wielded various weapons, training and sparring; some rested, while others exerted themselves with sweat and passion. I observed them carefully as I moved forward.

Lilith, walking beside me and keeping pace, stopped on the stairs leading to the central training area.

“Your Majesty!”

The place was noisy, so she shouted to Hecate, who was focused on training in the distance.

“!”

Hecate, sweating from her intense practice, turned her head.

“Darjeeling!”

Spotting me before noticing Lilith, Hecate returned her sword to the rack and ran over immediately.

Ahahaha-.

She lifted me up and spun around happily several times, almost like a whirlwind of sunflower petals. I froze, unsure of what to do.

“My daughter~ did you miss Mommy?”

I thought she’d put me down soon, but instead:

“Mommy missed our daughter so much, I almost collapsed!”

Hecate played drums and janggu alone, like Jeff. I hadn’t said a word.

‘She’s crazy too.’

I chose silence, feeling awkward.

And Lilith was right behind me. While she was always around, imagining the serpent knowing my identity and secretly giggling made me want to bury my face in a plate.

‘They say couples resemble each other… is this what it means?’

I really hated it and screamed silently inside.

“Oh! Did you enjoy the treasure hunt?”

“O-of course.”

I answered absentmindedly, thinking it had been more embarrassing than fun.

“That’s good.”

Hecate seemed pleased with my response.

“The treasures were made by me each night while thinking of you on the battlefield.”

Given her position as a general, I expected this, but seeing her warm smile while explaining she made them in her spare time made me feel odd.

Throb-

A wave of sensation hit my chest.

‘This feeling again…’

I instinctively placed my hand over my chest and clenched my fist.

“All the treasures were cute.”

Honestly, I didn’t find them particularly impressive, but I played along to escape the awkwardness.

“Ah, Sir Lilith! How did you bring the princess here?”

But things didn’t go as I wished. Hecate addressed Lilith belatedly.

“Your Highness missed the princess so much that I brought her. Forgive the impudence of not notifying in advance.”

Where does she get this nerve! I was flabbergasted by Lilith’s brazenness.

“You said earlier it was just a tour of the training grounds…”

“Ah! Mommy will show our daughter the spirit of the Royal Knights!”

I felt deceived but couldn’t reach Hecate. She lifted me higher toward the sky, laughing cheerfully.

“No!”

I struggled naturally, but apparently she didn’t realize it was resistance.

“Stop all practice immediately.”

As soon as I was put down, Hecate grabbed her sword and returned to the upper ranks.

Bang-

“Everyone, assemble in order!”

She stamped her sword straight on the ground and returned to her commanding presence.

“Today, the one and only princess comes to witness your refined skills.”

Hecate continued with a voice full of authority and charisma.

“Normally, you would display swordsmanship, but there is risk to the young princess.”

Looking down at the knights perfectly aligned, Hecate raised her hand high with a solemn expression.

“Therefore, you will show the military song that united and guided us for the past three years!”

“Yes, Your Majesty!”

The knights responded loudly and immediately aligned their swords straight on the ground.

“Raise your swords with loyalty, advance with your mission in mind.”

Then they placed both hands over the hilt, bowed slightly, and sang solemnly:

“Our blue spirit protects the nation’s soul with justice.”
“Even if hardships and adversity try to break us, we will rise and fight.”
“Brave comrades like falcons.”
“The unsetting sun lights our path, our spirit defends family and country!”

The knights’ voices echoed through the training ground like wind. I saw Hecate watching them with a faint smile.

“How was it, Darjeeling?”

After the performance, Hecate straightened her shoulders proudly.

Really not impressive.

Initially, it seemed okay, but my opinion changed by the end.

Knights should only need to master swordsmanship. What is this?

The dignity of a knight cannot be expressed in song. I pretended it was fine to avoid directly criticizing.

I could have clapped and said it was great, but my personality doesn’t allow me to flatter easily.

“Really wonderful, isn’t it? Shall we return now?”

Later, when Hecate resumed training, Lilith quietly approached.

“No.”

Annoying. I crossed my arms and pouted.

“I’ll sit here and watch how competent the knights are.”

I pointed to a long resting bench in the training grounds with my right index finger.

“I’ll return at mealtime, so leave me be.”

I hoped she’d disappear, and Lilith politely acknowledged and left. She had paperwork as Hecate’s aide, apparently.

Whatever. Not my concern.

Swing, swing-

Time passed as I watched, moving my legs back and forth until the sky turned orange.

“Even after three years on the battlefield, these knights’ skills still have room for improvement.”

I was disappointed by their performance and pouted.

Glancing left, I saw Poppy sitting obediently, dozing off.

“Boring.”

I turned my attention elsewhere.

“?”

Then I noticed a statue I hadn’t seen when first entering the training grounds.

“What’s this?”

A marble statue of a woman atop the stairs in the exit direction.

I walked toward the art piece, placed amid manicured grass and a fountain, as if hypnotized.

It looks exactly like me in ancient times.

The reason was simple.

I was stunned, thinking, how could this coincidence exist?

Even upside down, there’s no doubt—it’s me.

Curious about the sculptor’s identity, I wondered if I should find out…

“Statue from our family, dedicated to the empire.”

Suddenly, a familiar voice came from behind.

“You startled me!”

I realized it was Sasha and scolded him immediately.

“If you’re coming, make some noise!”

Embarrassed and annoyed, I decided to change the topic.

“So, your family made this statue?”

Clearing his throat, Sasha smiled.

“Yes, Your Majesty ordered statues for the training grounds.”

He looked up at the statue.

“This is one of them.”

“Really?”

I replied indifferently, feeling uneasy.

Though I had approached out of curiosity, the more I looked, the more uncomfortable I felt.

Among many statues, this one looks exactly like my ancient self. Unpleasant.

Why did they replicate my first life?

I even suspected someone, besides Lilith, who knew my past, deliberately made it resemble me.

“Why can’t Your Highness take your eyes off this statue?”

“This statue is strangely….”

I answered Sasha:

“It reminds me of someone I know.”