TDPMVI 5

Chapter : 05

As I grew older, that child taught me many things.
About the current dukes and the situations of other dukes, about the rebel forces rising in the “forbidden lands” and the royal movements to suppress them, and so on.
Thanks to the information that child gave me, I was able to go from being a “useless child” to, at least, a child with some sense of the world.

Around the time the boundaries of the ban were gradually lifted—from my room to the Duke’s mansion—I lost contact with that child.
I wanted to find them, but the situation was too unstable with the movements of the rebels. I couldn’t rush out.

Then, one anxious day, when I had turned eighteen, that child came to me again.

[It’s the Day of Mercy.]

It had been months since we had last been in contact. And yet, suddenly appearing, the only thing they said was this.

[Why didn’t you come all this time?]
[I had things to do.]
[I was worried. I kept waiting… wondering if something had happened.]

I stopped writing there.
I couldn’t continue.
I was afraid that they would leave again.
So, just like the first time we met, I restrained the tears I knew they hated and wrote shortly:

[I want to go outside.]

I wanted to be free.
So… I wanted to see you.
I didn’t write these words because I thought they would be too burdensome.
Since they disliked annoying questions, I thought I’d have to endure it if no reply came. But then—
thunk.
A reply arrived.

[Shall I let you out?]

I moved my hand as if entranced.

[Yes.]

It was an answer I wrote even knowing it might not be allowed.
Although the ban had been lifted, I was still Agnito. Unless I married someone, I would never be able to leave the name of Agnito forever.

[Okay.]

Yet the reply that arrived was filled with certainty.

[I’ll make it happen.]

As if they could grant my long-cherished wish.
That certainty was so overwhelming that, for the first time, I couldn’t reply that day.
There was no time to think further.

“Get married, Hanisha.”

After that day, the Duke of Agnito commanded me to marry.
The leader of the rebel forces, the illegitimate child of the abandoned emperor—Renee.

What happened to that child?
Since the message promising to “make it happen,” they never came to see me again until the wedding.
“Still, they were my closest friend. At least I would have wanted to hear about the marriage directly.”
Of course, that was now a past that had disappeared, a memory that belonged only to me…
Yet I still wanted to meet them one more time.
“It would have been nice to at least know their name…”

I was thinking about the first female friend I had made as I stepped out of the bookshelf.

“Oh? Sister!”

I froze at the familiar voice.
With dark blonde hair and green eyes, a child with a lovely appearance.
Esther—Bert’s twin sister and my cousin.

On the Day of Mercy, the saint would usually go out into the streets to offer prayers and blessings on behalf of the gods.
But with the saint absent, I—her daughter—was supposed to replace her. The Duke of Agnito, using my poor health as an excuse, kept me hidden. Esther had gone out to assist the event in my stead.

“Sister, why are you here alone? Where’s your nanny?”
“My nanny…”
Before I could finish, Esther, acting as if she hadn’t realized, clapped her hands.
“Oh, right. You have maids, but no nanny, huh.”
“…”
“I must have forgotten after being at the temple for a few days. Sorry.”

Esther wrinkled her nose and smiled.
I quietly observed her.
Even when everyone ignored me, Esther always called me “sister.”

“Even if others speak ill of you, I won’t.”
“You and I lost our mothers the same way. We are sisters who have endured the same pain.”
“So, you’ll be on my side too, right?”

I truly believed I was Esther’s sister.
Not realizing she was also trying to manipulate me.

“Ugh, running errands outside instead of you has tired me out.”
Stretching, Esther handed me the small bag she had been carrying.
“Sister, hold this for me. My arm hurts too much.”

That tiny bag probably contained nothing but a mirror. A young lady of Agnito had no reason to carry heavy things.
This was only a display, to show that my position was lower than hers.

“Alright.”
I took the bag from Esther.
“Then you hold this for me.”
I handed her the book I had just been holding.

“Ah!”
Clutching the book, Esther blinked in disbelief.
“Uh, sister. What are you doing?”
“Weren’t we supposed to share the load?”
“Why should I carry yours?”
“Then why should I carry yours?”
“…What?”

Esther blinked in confusion.
“…Sister, what are you saying? You…”
Anger rising, she composed herself and continued.
“…I ran the Day of Mercy event instead of you, so you should help me.”

There was another meaning in her words:
‘You realize the saint’s power was interrupted because of you, right?’

“Yeah, thanks for that.”
I answered honestly.
“But I don’t think you need to do it anymore.”
“…What?”
“I mean you don’t have to go instead of me anymore. It’s no longer necessary.”

“I don’t really understand what you mean, sister.”
“Well, I wonder what it could mean?”
I smiled gently.

Esther’s expression gradually clouded with unease.
Her mouth pressed tightly shut.

She must have heard about my fight with Bert on the way to the Duke’s mansion.
But Bert was the one punished.
And I, who had been confined the whole time, was now out like this.

Moreover…

Esther slowly lowered her gaze.
The books I had handed her were all organized information on the four major ducal families.
Essential readings for anyone of a ducal household.

I could see her mind forming a certain assumption:
Perhaps the duke recognized me…

“Th-That’s impossible. Sister, you can’t become a noble like me!”
“Why not? We agreed to live like sisters.”
“Th-That’s true, but…!”

Unable to refute, Esther sealed her lips.
Esther was like that. She wanted to act like a sister but refused to share any benefits.

Then I realized. Esther didn’t want a sister—she wanted all the love of the family for herself.
But at that time, I didn’t bother arguing.
Because I truly… wanted to be family with you.
Now I realized that wasn’t true anymore.

Unable to find a rebuttal, Esther’s face turned bright red, her nose twitching.

“Waaah—!”
Finally, she burst into tears.
“Mommy—!”

True to being twins with Bert, her cry was identical to his.

“My goodness, young lady!”
“Young lady!”

Servants who ran at the sound of crying picked her up.
“Why are you crying all of a sudden?”
“Waaah…!”
“Did you have a fight with Hanisha, perhaps?”

One servant looked at me incredulously.
“N-No, it’s not like that…!”

Perhaps afraid I would pay attention to her, Esther shook her head frantically.
“It’s just… oh, father didn’t come to fetch me… so I got scared…”

The servants sighed, thinking this was her consideration for me.
But having learned what had happened at the temple today, they could not scold me.
Knowing I wasn’t well, they wouldn’t want to make the situation worse.

“I want to see Mom. Waaah—!”
Esther began calling out loudly for the late Duchess of Agnito.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, young lady.”
“Come inside first. We’ve prepared the scented oil you like. A warm bath with it will make you feel better.”

The maids, including the nanny, gently soothed Esther and moved away from me.
The books I had given her fell to the floor, limp.

“….”
Left alone, I picked up the fallen books and headed back to my room.

I wasn’t sad. Everything had been for the “next” step.

But…

“I want to see Mom. Waaah—!”

When I’m sad or heartbroken enough to cry, I still call for my mother. And that’s okay.
Then… who should I call?
Even if I called her name… would my mother in heaven pity me?
I didn’t know.
In my past lives, and in this life I returned to, I still had no family.

Still, I didn’t cry.

“…Khh.”

It was only that I felt sad I couldn’t grasp the feeling of calling for my mother, and my nose reddened just a little in resentment.