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chapter 9
The Lion is a Herbivore
Maria, who had pushed through the bed curtains, had already stepped back, retreating.
It was thanks to Miren waving her hand at Maria, signaling that she could leave.
Ryan didn’t lift his face from the back of Miren’s neck until Maria had gone.
Seeing Ryan like a big, gentle dog made Miren smile.
Hearing her laugh, mixed with a cough, Ryan lifted his head.
“Miren, your breathing isn’t good.”
“Is that so? I could go into the water…”
Ah.
Miren realized mid-sentence that it wasn’t her own body that had entered the water—it was the other body.
As she paused, Ryan’s puzzled gaze turned toward her.
“I want to drink water.”
At those words, Ryan didn’t hesitate and got down from the bed.
He poured her a cup of lukewarm tea from the kettle on the bedside table and handed it to her.
Miren cleared her scratchy throat with the tea that had cooled just right.
Only then did speaking become easier.
Meanwhile, Ryan stood and began drawing back the bed curtains one by one.
Though he couldn’t open the window for fear of letting in the cold, he at least wanted to make it feel less stifling.
Maria stood at the door, head bowed.
“Ryan, what about your work?”
“I finished it already and was waiting for you to wake up. Miren, even just a spoonful today…”
“You’ve been busy recently, haven’t you?”
“I’ve taken care of everything.”
“Really?”
Really, Your Majesty?
Miren asked once more, seeking the truth.
Ryan, who had been standing beside her and looking down, sighed and averted his eyes.
“Yes. The southern border has been unstable lately. War could break out at any moment.”
“Then why are you here in my bedroom? You should rest at least a little.”
Fatigue was evident across Ryan’s face.
Miren reached out to touch his cheek but withdrew her hand when she couldn’t reach.
Then, suddenly, Ryan took her hand first.
Noticing what Miren had been trying to do, he pressed her small hand against his cheek.
Unlike the coldness of Miren’s hand, Ryan’s cheek was burning hot.
“You’ve never spoiled me, not even with your mother.”
“I didn’t fail to—I just couldn’t,” Miren replied calmly.
Ryan chuckled. She was right.
Since birth, he had always been told he would become emperor.
Because he would be emperor, he couldn’t cry or throw tantrums.
How had his wife known that? And how could she comfort him so easily?
“I see. Then… may I spoil you just a little more?”
With that, Ryan climbed onto Miren’s bed.
The bed had rocked, but when they sat quietly with a small space between them, it calmed.
An awkward silence fell afterward.
Miren hesitated. Their hands kept brushing beneath the blanket.
‘So this is… how you hold hands.’
She suddenly remembered Hegel’s words.
Tentatively, her fingers twitched, then she placed her hand over the back of Ryan’s hand.
Of course, his large hand wasn’t fully covered, but even so, both of them momentarily held their breath.
Miren could feel Ryan stiffening.
“R-Ryan… this is… um.”
“…”
“I heard… lovers usually hold hands.”
So she tried it.
Had Hegel taught her wrong? Thinking back on his playful attitude, it seemed plausible.
Yes, it was moving too fast.
Maybe she should have talked a bit more and gained his consent.
Yet Ryan said nothing, strangely silent.
Lost in her thoughts, Miren hadn’t noticed his expression until just then.
At that moment, he spoke.
“Miren.”
Ah. In an instant, Miren fell backward.
Ryan was on top of her in a flash.
Her pale hair was scattered across the bed.
Ryan placed her hands, which were still holding his, beside her head.
Then he slipped the other hand in, interlacing their fingers.
Suddenly, Miren’s hands were trapped under Ryan, lying beneath him.
“Why…?”
“Ryan?”
“Why are you tormenting me?”
Tormenting?
Miren replayed her actions but realized she had only held his hand.
Did he not want to hold hands? Or was holding hands actually tormenting someone?
She decided she would scold Hegel about this the next time she slept.
Looking down at her, Ryan squeezed his eyes shut as if in true agony.
Seeing this, Miren tried to pull her hands away. If he was suffering, there was no reason to hold his hand.
But Ryan didn’t let go.
Instead, he gripped tighter.
“Because you’re in pain… I’m holding back.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m afraid that if I touch you, I’ll lose control. That I’ll act like a beast, putting my desires above you. I’ve been holding back… for eight years.”
His voice lowered like a growl.
“If you can’t handle it, don’t touch me.”
“…”
“Miren, someone like me…”
I’m afraid I might devour you.
Ryan’s voice trembled slightly at the end.
Even on top of her, he kept his knees bent, careful not to crush her.
Thick veins bulged on his neck and arms as he restrained himself.
Eventually, he couldn’t bear to look at her face and closed his eyes tightly.
Yet he didn’t release her hands.
He trembled but held them firmly, as if afraid to let go.
“I wish I had liked you when I was even healthier.”
“…Don’t say that.”
“If I were a bit healthier… cough… I could have given you everything you wanted.”
Ryan didn’t speak further and lowered his head to press his lips against the nape of Miren’s neck.
His lips touched her collarbone.
Even this kiss was careful, as if he were dealing with someone fragile.
After the kiss, Ryan stood and spoke in a calmer voice, with a faint smile.
“As much as you want?”
“Yes… as much as you want.”
“Do you know how much that is?”
Standing, Ryan laughed playfully.
He looked like the Ryan she had first met at thirteen, and Miren couldn’t help but smile.
“Do you know how greedy I am, saying such things?”
“I want to give you anything I can.”
Finally, Ryan released one of her hands. Miren reached out and stroked his head.
Ryan, smiling into her hand, then collapsed sideways.
They lay on the bed side by side, one hand clasped.
“You speak so easily.”
“It’s not easy. Not at all.”
“I would give up the throne just to save you, Miren.”
“Ryan!”
“But it’s ironic. To save you, I must remain emperor. I have to bring the finest priests and find the legendary medicine.”
Above them loomed the high ceiling.
They lay quietly, talking.
Stories they had kept to themselves for eight years.
While talking, Miren wondered if she should tell him about her other life.
Until now, she had thought this marriage was purely political and hadn’t intended to mention it.
As she pondered, Ryan suddenly propped his arm and turned toward her.
“Sorry, Miren. I got a little excited. War and other affairs kept me busy.”
“The southern border?”
“Yes. The Terun Duchy, which lost land under the previous emperor, seems to think they can challenge me. They’re biting their teeth.”
“You mean the Frenity territory?”
Miren froze.
The Frenity territory was where her other family lived.
“Is it okay to tell me this?”
“I don’t see why not.”
He said as if it were obvious.
In these moments, his presence as emperor shone.
Yet when talking about Frenity, his expression darkened slightly.
“Frenity has been part of the Waroden Empire for decades… but Terun probably wants it back.”
He sighed, troubled by the Frenity territory.
Miren, also from Frenity originally, listened intently.
“I’m even considering returning the people.”
“Returning them?”
“Yes. It may shock those adjusting to the empire, but since the previous emperor forcibly annexed the territory through war, the people were originally Terun’s. Terun would see them as theirs anyway.”
Ryan was right.
Her parents were originally from Terun but had become citizens of the Waroden Empire.
Miren, born after the annexation, was always a citizen.
“If they want to go back, I must allow it. Opinions keep coming in. The territory stays with us, but the people can leave. The village has agreed on this.”
Miren had never heard this before.
Her house was far from the village, and her parents, who often went there, might know.
“You’re an imperial citizen too, so you know how much Waroden hates Terun.”
The two states had long been in conflict.
Though Waroden won the last war and Terun’s status dropped from kingdom to duchy, Terun people never forgot their past.
Raids were frequent along the borders.
Disputes between ordinary citizens escalated uncontrollably.
Miren quietly asked, staring at the ceiling.
“Your Majesty… what do you personally think of Terun?”
“As emperor, I cannot mix personal feelings with politics… but as Ryan Thor Waroden? I can’t forgive those who killed my people.”
Silence fell.
Both were lost in thought.
Miren gave up telling him about her other life.
It had never been a good idea.
Everyone else wished she would die.
The longer she lived, the more Ryan’s political position would weaken.
Revealing her secret would be selfish.
She swallowed the story she had almost told.
“Miren, who taught you to hold hands? Maria?”
“…Yes, Maria did.”
“I should reward her. Perhaps a house in the capital?”
“Might be burdensome for her. She’s afraid of Your Majesty.”
Ryan’s eyes widened.
“Afraid of me?”
“Yes. She sees you as too distant.”
“…I heard even my ministers fear me. Is it true, Miren? Am I really such a frightening emperor?”
Ryan’s shoulders slumped.
Miren chuckled at his sulking face.
She turned from staring at the ceiling and pulled him into her embrace.
Wrapping her arms around him, she gently patted his back.
Without words, her touch conveyed all she wanted to say.
Ryan, in her arms, breathed out in satisfaction, like a beast after a hunt.
Yet he curled up weakly, like a timid herbivore.
At least in front of Miren, Ryan was nothing but a fragile herbivore.
