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Chapter 24
“Vanessa.”
It was a place Evan had prepared even before returning, wanting to show it to her. Just like in Cent, he wanted to drink tea together there and share small, ordinary conversations. That was all he wanted.
When Evan left Cent, he used a message hawk to track her location, just in case. He had told her to wait, but waiting for him was not an obligation for her—it was a choice. He was puzzled by Vanessa’s sudden movement, but felt relieved when he learned her destination was the capital. No—honestly, he wouldn’t have cared even if she had been a foreign spy.
“I apologize for having to report this.”
But the Vanessa he heard about after returning was not the woman he knew.
A debauched flirt who toyed with people at will.
He didn’t believe it. And even if it were true, it didn’t matter. As long as she loved him. As long as she showed him that bright smile she had in Cent.
Still, anxiety gnawed at him, and each time Evan comforted himself. She wouldn’t do that. I’m special to her.
But it didn’t take long before he was forced to face the reality he had stubbornly denied, reflected in her cold gaze.
“Please erase that name. It’s no longer necessary.”
“Wasn’t it just a childish relationship?”
The emotions that slowly welled up seized his mind. Misery, resentment, anger—coalescing into a mass of feeling that swallowed Evan in an instant.
Yet none of those emotions could overcome fear. The fear that she might leave him pressed down on his heart.
If Vanessa never smiled at him again. If he could no longer touch the lustrous hair that had shimmered in the lamplight. Then, gradually, it became clear.
He could not leave Vanessa.
Knock, knock.
Evan lifted his gaze as the door to the study opened. A neatly dressed butler, Alto, appeared.
“Your Grace, I apologize. There is an invitation you must see urgently.”
Alto was a capable man who had served the heads of the Dustin family for generations, supported by the family itself. His loyalty and pride as a member of the ducal household were immense.
“I told you to refuse them all.”
Alto bowed gently and stepped into the study.
“It’s an invitation from the Peard family.”
At the word “Peard,” Evan’s eye twitched. His gaze moved past the flowerbed and settled on Alto.
Taking it as permission, Alto strode over and handed him the invitation. The purple card bore a crudely scrawled message.
You’re invited to a date with Vanessa. I’ll tell you why Vanessa cannot marry Your Grace.
Let’s meet at the [Dinta] Jewelry Shop.
—Sherry Peard
Looking at the provocative words that barely qualified as an invitation, Evan recalled Sherry’s hostile eyes and tone.
“How ridiculous.”
He tossed the invitation into the air. They must think that baiting me with Vanessa will make me take the hook—but they’re right. Quite clever, actually.
Turning to Alto, Evan asked,
“Where is the [Dinta] Jewelry Shop?”
In truth, he accepted the provocation simply to see Vanessa.
Evan’s heart burned because Vanessa always avoided his gaze, but at least he could watch her from afar. He didn’t like that the knight guarding her was a man either, but remembering how she seemed to avoid exposing their relationship—like at the restaurant—he endured it.
Of course, she wasn’t the only one who bothered him.
“Hmph.”
Sherry deliberately clung to Vanessa’s arm, staying close to her side. Whenever their eyes met, she would sneer and lift her chin childishly. Evan endured even that.
But then—
“Is there something you need, miss?”
“Vanessa, say ‘ah.’”
“Miss, you’ve spilled some.”
It felt as though a taut string in Evan’s mind snapped.
Sherry, servants, even a stranger knight—everyone could be by her side. So why couldn’t he be with her?
“If it’s not too much trouble, would you grant me the honor of a conversation?”
Unable to endure it any longer, Evan approached Sherry to gauge her intentions. For Vanessa’s sake, he extended his hand with utmost politeness.
“All right.”
Sherry readily took his hand, and they left the restaurant. The moment they were out of Vanessa’s sight, they briskly shook each other’s hands free.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
Sherry lifted her chin proudly and crossed her arms.
“You’ve seen it, haven’t you? Vanessa isn’t interested in Your Grace at all.”
So it was just a ploy to drive me away.
Evan looked away indifferently, his interest already gone. Sherry, her face full of triumph, stepped closer.
“If you don’t want to be humiliated, withdraw your proposal. Our family is tolerating this for Vanessa’s sake.”
Evan stared through the window at Vanessa drinking water inside the restaurant.
“Why—why aren’t you reacting at all?”
Sherry panicked when she didn’t get the response she wanted.
I thought this would make him back down. He really isn’t normal.
At Evan’s emotionless reaction, Sherry anxiously bit her lip.
“I wasn’t planning to say this much, but…”
Hiding her agitation, she deliberately put on airs.
“Vanessa still can’t forget her first love.”
Evan slowly turned his face toward Sherry. His ink-dark brows twisted.
“First love?”
“Yes. Her first love.”
Sherry leaned close and whispered, not forgetting to snicker at the end.
“You’re just one of the many men Vanessa met to forget her first love. Pfft.”
At that moment, Evan’s eyes dimmed, like the moon veiled by clouds.
“First love.”
He spat out the words coldly, pressing emotion into every syllable.
“What… what is that?”
Sherry’s momentum broke instantly. The killing intent flowing from Evan made even her, trained in combat, hesitate.
Unlike Sherry, Evan felt as though he had swallowed a fireball—his insides boiling over in an instant. His mind was dominated by the three syllables first love, and a crater opened in his heart, magma surging forth.
Evan lifted his gaze and stared straight at Sherry.
“Is he still alive?”
Sensing danger, Sherry clenched her fist, certain now that her judgment had been right.
Is he saying he’d kill him if Vanessa’s first love were alive?
Sherry often lost her reason over matters concerning Vanessa, but she had never truly wanted to kill someone.
I knew it. You can’t let someone that dangerous stay by Vanessa’s side.
“Well, maybe he’s dead—that’s why Vanessa can’t forget him. She’ll probably pine for him her whole life.”
Sherry turned a mercenary she’d never even seen into a dead man. It wasn’t entirely untrue. She had killed the mercenary who made Vanessa cry a million times over in her heart.
“So I’ll be waiting for you to withdraw your proposal. Hmph!”
Dropping that bomb, Sherry snorted and went back into the restaurant.
Unlike her, Evan couldn’t leave easily.
How much time passed? Evan slowly moved his feet toward a dim alley.
His mind was so dazed that he couldn’t even tell whether he was stepping on solid ground or water.
His pace quickened until he reached a dead end, where he finally stopped. His blue eyes drifted from the brick wall to the empty air, then down to his feet.
“Vanessa.”
He closed his eyes, grinding out her name between clenched teeth.
“First love…”
Since Vanessa was his first love, he had believed she felt the same.
But not toward Evan—toward someone else.
The moment he realized that, an indescribable emotion consumed his entire being. Evan gritted his teeth and stared into the deep darkness.
If Vanessa wasn’t going to love him, it would have been better if she had never loved anyone at all. If her heart was never meant to come to him, it would have been better if it belonged to no one.
If that one and only heart wasn’t his—if he couldn’t have her heart—then Evan would at least have her by his side. So she could never abandon him again.
“Vanessa.”
His blue eyes gleamed lonely in the darkness.
Evan did not open his tightly sealed lips the entire way back to the ducal territory. Only when he arrived at the estate and faced Alto, who came out to greet him, did he speak.
Like the moon emerging from behind clouds, the dim light in his eyes sharpened.
“Alto.”
Alto prostrated himself before Evan with flawless form.
“I need to catch a rat.”
Evan’s eyes rolled slowly, reptilian, as he stared at the flowerbed. He narrowed his eyes, recalling Vanessa standing with Count Jerrod.
“First, I’ll cut off its mouth.”
That filthy muzzle that dared rub itself against the back of Vanessa’s hand.
“If it’s not too much trouble, would you grant me the honor of a conversation, Lady Sherry Peard?”
Strangely enough, humans only realize certain things when they’re forced to face them. For me, that realization was my feelings for Evan.
“I thought I’d sorted them out.”
Yet it was I who still harbored lingering feelings.
Since that day, the image of Sherry and Evan together remained vividly etched in my mind, impossible to forget.
Ironically, seeing the story follow the original plot didn’t feel entirely welcome.
I was at a loss at my own sly heart.
“No. No.”
Who had lingering feelings? This was the outcome I wanted. I shook my head faintly, desperately denying it.
Soon Evan would withdraw his proposal, and I would take the money under the pretext of finalizing a contract with Jerrod and head back to Cent.
“Yes. That’s what I’ll do.”
Crack.
At the familiar sound, I lowered my gaze to see the tip of my thumbnail broken. Tormenting my nails whenever I felt anxious was a habit I’d never managed to break, even from my past life.
Ha… As I let out a deep sigh and tried to steady my unsettled heart, an irritated sigh drifted in from the window.
