ITHTJ 36

Chapter : 36

The Relationship That Bothers Me (11

Ah, so that’s what you meant. I was wondering about something else entirely.

“Phew, you really startled me.”

Eclipse, who had been staring at me with an awkward smile, fell silent for a moment, then fiddled with the letter I had handed him and spoke.

“Is this all from Jade?”

“Yes.”

I nodded. The letter was fairly concise.

“I’m not saying that because you’re a research subject, we’re going to experiment on you. So don’t be too scared. If you change your mind, contact me anytime. I’ll wait as long as it takes.”

In the corner of the stationery, with no recipient or sender listed, was a symbol representing the Mage Tower in the Hearn Mountains.

Seeing that symbol brought a bittersweet feeling.

‘It’s a little disappointing, but I still want to stay here.’

There were things here that only I, someone familiar with the original story, could do.

But the Mage Tower in the Hearn Mountains was different.

What it needed wasn’t me, but another capable person.

So there was no need for me to go there.

It’s not that I’m afraid of Jade—not at all!

‘Of course, Jade is a strange person, but the Mage Tower itself seems to operate solidly.’

Besides, having the solid backing of the Ledeir Archducal family made it even better.

‘No, on second thought, he’s not just strange. He’s the one who supported Eclipse to the very end as he went mad under the curse.’

Jade had trusted and followed Eclipse to the very end.

It was because Eclipse was the only one who had stood by him when he was struggling, and he couldn’t betray him.

‘Though, because of that loyalty, he ultimately meets his end at Lynette’s hand.’

It may seem a bit odd, but he wasn’t twisted as a person.

‘Still, calling me a research subject is a bit…’

I glanced at Eclipse, who remained silent.

His gaze was still fixed on Jade’s letter.

After a moment, Eclipse spoke.

“Anyway, I’ll keep this letter myself.”

Saying this, he naturally tore the letter in half.

‘Wait, tearing it again?’

He had done the same last time—boldly tearing it without hesitation.

“You said you’d keep it…?”

“I didn’t say I’d keep it in its original form, so it doesn’t matter.”

He said it so casually that I found myself agreeing.

‘Come to think of it, he’s not wrong.’

Eclipse called Silbern and had him fetch a small wooden box.

He then placed the torn letter inside it.

“Jade Carlon. On the outside, he looks fine, but his inner thoughts are impossible to know. You can’t easily predict what he’s thinking or why he acts the way he does.”

Usually, people say someone looks odd on the outside but is fine on the inside.

Yet I silently nodded.

Nothing in the world could describe Jade better than that.

“However, at least he doesn’t hide his inner self from others. Whatever he wants, he reveals it openly, without restraint.”

After Silbern left, it was just the two of us in the study again.

His eyes, clear like glass, fixed on me.

“But I cannot do the same. As you once told me…”

“……”

“As someone of the Archduke’s status, I cannot be honest with anyone. The moment I reveal my feelings as they are, I become easy prey for someone.”

It seemed Eclipse’s passive trait, “Low Self-Esteem,” had activated again.

I didn’t avert my gaze.

He quietly stared back at me.

“Therefore, it’s only natural that Lynette got angry with me. Unlike me, she doesn’t hide anything. She must have been fed up with me, always concealing myself for fear of someone seeing through me.”

I wasn’t a particularly honest person either.

After all, I had tried to deceive Eclipse earlier, though I hadn’t fully succeeded, and I didn’t tell him.

In a way, I was probably the least honest person in this mansion, not Eclipse.

“Thanks to your advice, things went over this time, but nothing will change in the future. The same thing will surely repeat. I will continue to hide, and Lynette will blame me for not changing.”

“……”

“Even if she ends up hating me, it’s fine. I… won’t be honest until the moment I die.”

Eclipse, who always had a blank expression, looked unusually calm today.

He lowered his eyes silently, then spoke again.

“…I’ve said something unnecessary. Please forget it.”

The damp, heavy atmosphere sank between us like waterlogged soil.

Wanting to clear the air, I spoke immediately.

“Your Grace, do you like taking walks?”

“Wa…lks?”

“Yes. The weather’s perfect for strolling outside these days. The garden’s full of beautiful flowers, too.”

From where I stood, Eclipse seemed to be overthinking.

Lost in thought alone, he inevitably became melancholic, eventually blaming himself.

‘People like this shouldn’t be left alone in a room.’

I thought a walk under the warm sun might help him shake off those lingering thoughts.

“At least, that’s what I believe.”

“Well… I don’t particularly like it. I don’t go out otherwise.”

Besides, he seemed to have no hobbies outside of work.

‘That’s because he’s always locked up in his office, working.’

No wonder his skin was so pale and flawless.

I wanted to pull him out of the shadows into the sunlight somehow.

“Then how about taking just one hour a day for a walk?”

“I cannot devote so much time to matters outside of work.”

One hour a day seems like too much?

I began to worry slightly about what kind of schedule he kept.

“Hmm, then how about four times a week?”

“……”

That might be too frequent.

Alright, you can’t expect a full change immediately. Then…

“Then just three times! How about it?”

I held up three fingers for emphasis.

“Three hours a week should be fine, right? That’s roughly the amount of time I spend on my own classes. Personally, two hours feels too short, and four feels too long.”

I may have overexplained, but the point was clear.

“To work efficiently, it’s important to refresh your thoughts. Staying cooped up all day won’t solve things on its own. Haven’t you experienced that before?”

I asked, and Eclipse fell into deep thought.

“I… have.”

“And what did you usually do in that case?”

“I kept thinking until I found the answer myself.”

That sounds like the case of staying cooped up all day…

I didn’t want to argue, so I continued.

“How long did it usually take to resolve it?”

“About half a month, I think.”

“Excuse me?”

I shouted in surprise, then immediately apologized.

“I-I’m sorry. Please forgive my rudeness.”

Eclipse slowly nodded.

“It’s fine. I think it’s understandable to be surprised.”

So he knew. He knew his behavior wasn’t normal.

I felt somewhat reassured knowing he was aware of himself.

“Then you’ve been in your office all this time?”

Eclipse didn’t answer, just nodded.

I inhaled sharply, aghast.

‘Good heavens, for half a month straight?’

For reference, if something didn’t work out for me, I would immediately go outside for fresh air.

Of course, I couldn’t judge whose method was “correct.”

Everyone has their own way.

‘But half a month is just extreme…’

I was certain that if I left Eclipse like this, he would eventually collapse in his office.

‘I have to intervene.’

I clapped my hands to get his attention.

“When things don’t work out, I sometimes went out for a walk. When I was stuck and frustrated, feeling the cool breeze from afar… oh, it’s amazing.”

I pretended to be amazed, continuing.

“The part that was stuck just… clears up.”

Lynette was capable enough to take care of herself, so she didn’t need much attention.

But Eclipse was different. He needed someone’s warm attention.

Not necessarily me… but I couldn’t leave him be out of pity.

‘What can I do? I just can’t leave him alone.’