TDSM 10

Chapter 10

“I don’t even know why I’m like this…”

“Mm.”

“It’s just… when you’re beside me, Lenia, I keep wanting to touch you. I want to hold you.”

“…Huh?”

I lifted my hand and lightly brushed under my nose.

Thankfully, no blood.

Just a moment ago, Ignis had lowered his head slightly, his cheeks flushed as he spoke shyly. Anyone who saw that expression would’ve been doomed to a nosebleed.

If it had been me back when I was hopelessly crushing on him, I probably would’ve fainted on the spot.

Unaware of my thoughts, Ignis continued speaking, still wearing that bashful expression.

“I’ve only ever felt this way with my mother before.”

Just as I’d expected.

It seemed Ignis was feeling the affection he’d longed for from his parents through me.

Because of their belief that he had to grow up strong, his parents never indulged his childish affection at all.

Still, no meant no.

Having lived a strictly Confucian life in my past one, even this level of skinship was hard for me to accept.

But how was I supposed to refuse him naturally?

That was when Ignis, gazing at me with eyes like a tranquil lake, gently placed his hand over the back of mine.

“Can I… hold your hand again?”

“Well, that is…”

Let’s try to refuse naturally.

“Hm? Lenia?”

“Um… I mean…”

Should I say I sweat a lot and it’s uncomfortable?

“Can’t I hold it?”

“Well… from now on…”

As my answer kept dragging on, Ignis’s eyes drooped at the corners, making them look even more luminous.

“Don’t ask. Just hold it comfortably.”

I lost.

I lost to Ignis again.

That gaze—there was no way I could refuse it.

As Ignis continued to look at me expectantly, a strange feeling welled up inside me—a desire to protect him, to keep him safe.

Wait.

This isn’t… some kind of maternal instinct, is it?

I stared at Ignis as he spoke, my gaze fixed forward.

At some point, my hand was already in his.

Maybe I’d been too absorbed in my own thoughts, because I could barely hear what he was saying.

“Lately, I keep thinking I want to always be with you, Lenia.”

“……”

“I don’t know exactly what this feeling is yet.”

“……”

“So… I was wondering…”

Yeah. That’s it.

I’ve been thinking lately that I want to protect Ignis, to take care of him.

“This isn’t a crush anymore… is it maternal love?”

“I mean… that you’ll stay with me…”

I really am something else.

“…until the very end. Could you stay by my side?”

Then suddenly, Ignis turned his head from looking ahead and met my eyes.

“Can you… do that for me?”

“Huh?”

“……”

“Uh—yeah! Of course!”

I was doomed.

I hadn’t actually heard what Ignis asked.

Afraid he’d notice I was lost in my thoughts, I reflexively agreed.

And upon hearing my answer, Ignis’s face lit up like flowers in full bloom.

He burrowed deeper into my arms.

“Thank you, Lenia.”

“Huh? Ah, it’s nothing. Really.”

What exactly was he thanking me for?

What do I do?

I’m doomed. Completely doomed.

“Guys, guys! It’s almost vacation!”

“Time really flew by.”

“What are you all planning to do?”

Lilliana looked brighter than usual as she cheerfully asked everyone.

Having wrapped up the last of the semester, we gathered in a quiet garden for a rare moment of casual conversation.

“I don’t really have any plans yet.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Then let’s go with the plan I already made! We’ll spend it together!”

“…Now that I think about it, I might suddenly have something to do.”

At Lilliana’s confident declaration that she’d already planned everything, Aiden panicked and hurriedly changed his answer.

Understandably so.

Lilliana was overflowing with energy.

If he tried to keep up with her vacation plans, Aiden probably wouldn’t survive.

He preferred staying inside and reading books far more than going out.

“Ignis, you’ll be busy again this vacation, right?”

“Yeah. Probably. Sorry.”

“Don’t be. There’s nothing to apologize for.”

Though Lilliana looked a little disappointed, she quickly brushed it off at Ignis’s apology.

Being the Crown Prince, Ignis was bound to be busy this vacation as well.

“That’s too bad. You’ll be busy—take care of yourself.”

“I will. Thank you.”

“Ignis, weren’t you heading back today?”

“Yeah, I think I should get going.”

Because of his schedule, Ignis had to leave the academy early, even before vacation officially began, choosing to return to the palace.

“Travel safely, Ignis.”

“Write to us when you have time.”

“Yeah. I will. You all take care and enjoy your vacation.”

After greeting the others, Ignis looked toward me, still seated.

I stood up, approached him, and straightened his slightly disheveled collar.

“Even if you’re busy, don’t neglect yourself. Okay?”

“…Okay.”

Ignis nodded with a soft smile.

We waved as his figure gradually disappeared into the distance.

The day before vacation officially began had already arrived.

Before leaving the academy, we gathered to hear Lilliana’s plans.

She recited them weakly, unlike her usual self.

“Guys… my schedule is too empty. Isn’t it disappointing?”

“……”

“Up until the day before yesterday, it wasn’t like this, but then something suddenly came up…”

“……”

Unlike the past two years, her plans were unusually relaxed.

This time, during the month-long vacation, there weren’t many days she could spend with us.

The reason Lilliana—who loved being with us more than anyone—was so busy was because she’d be accompanying her father on an inspection of their territory.

“My vacation is ruined…”

“Hey, ruined? It’ll be a meaningful experience.”

“Yeah. We can always play later.”

“That sounds like a great opportunity.”

Sierra, Aiden, and Adam each offered words of comfort.

Despite that, their faces held smiles tinged with relief.

They liked spending time together, but keeping up with Lilliana’s boundless energy during vacation wasn’t easy.

She was active every single moment.

She even told her parents that the reason we met during vacation was for a study group.

Thanks to her mature demeanor, they seemed to truly believe we only studied and discussed things together.

In reality, we were just dragged around by Lilliana to play.

Still, since all of us had good grades, our parents trusted us enough to allow it.

Anyway, at this moment, aside from Ignis and Lilliana, everyone else was probably thinking the same thing:

Finally, a relaxed vacation.

“Don’t be too disappointed, Lilliana.”

“…Still.”

“We can play even more next vacation.”

I comforted Lilliana, who was slumped over the table, while secretly exchanging glances with the others.

Everyone was clearly looking forward to lazing around at home.

By the time we finished cheering her up and chatting, darkness had already fallen.

“If we’re all heading back tomorrow, it’d be better to rest early tonight.”

“Yeah. We probably won’t get to see each other tomorrow, so let’s say goodbye now.”

“Take care, everyone!”

Since we’d all be leaving early the next day, we exchanged farewells in advance and returned to our respective dorms.

Back at the dormitory, I exchanged a brief greeting with Iri and, for once, prepared to go to bed early.

And—after a long time—we were sharing the same bed again.

How did it come to this?
Well… I don’t mind, honestly.

I quietly asked Iri, who lay beside me.

“What made you suggest we sleep together tonight?”

“It’s just… for some reason, I wanted to sleep together like we used to.”

“……….”

“I’ve adapted a lot now, but back when I was struggling, you stayed with me every night like this.”

“…You knew?”

“Of course. How could I not?”

When we first started sharing a room at the academy, Iri had been especially distressed at night.

After noticing it by chance, I used the excuse that I was scared to sleep alone and lay beside her—hoping it might bring her some comfort.

“…Lady Lenia.”

“Hm?”

“Thank you. Always.”

After thanking me, Iri nestled into my arms and closed her eyes.

I gently stroked her hair, and before long, her breathing became steady and even.

She must’ve been tired.

My hand drifted from her hair down toward the collar that tightly covered her neck.

She still covered herself up to the neck even in the dormitory.

That probably meant she still hadn’t fully opened her heart to me.

Iri had told me there was a disturbing scar near her collarbone, and that was why she always wore clothes that constricted her like this.

I wish she’d open up to me a bit more.

Truthfully, beyond the scar, Iri rarely accepted my help.

No matter how much I begged her to accept even a small amount of assistance, given her difficult circumstances, she always refused.

The same went for my request that she speak casually with me when we were alone.

Feeling the softness of her hair beneath my fingertips, my vision slowly faded into darkness.

Lost in thought, sleep came easily.

And just like that, I drifted into a deep slumber.