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Chapter – 08
“Seriously—how can someone with an injured ankle walk this fast?”
Ignis had left the exam hall only moments before me, yet there was no sign of him anywhere around the testing grounds.
“Did he go straight to the infirmary?”
“H-hic…”
“Huh?”
What was that sound?
From somewhere not too far from the exam hall, I heard something strange.
It sounded like someone crying.
It was so faint that most people wouldn’t have noticed it at all—but still.
Yes. That really was the sound of someone crying.
I followed the sound.
The place it led me to was dark and secluded, somewhere people would never normally pass through.
Why would someone be crying in a place like this?
“…Could it be Ignis?”
No matter how fast he was, if I followed him almost immediately after he left and still couldn’t see him, then the chances were high that the one crying was Ignis.
I stepped closer, carefully.
As the distance closed, the sight came into view—Ignis, who had always seemed so composed and mature, was crying bitterly like a child.
I stood there for a long time, just staring blankly at him.
And what did I do after that?
What else?
I quietly watched him cry… and then I left.
At first, when I saw Ignis crying, I wondered if I should go to him right away and comfort him. But his behavior stopped me from doing that.
The louder his sobs became, the more desperately he tried to hide himself. At one point, it even looked like he was trying not to breathe at all.
Seeing that, I decided it would be better to quietly leave and pretend I hadn’t seen anything.
I was afraid that offering clumsy comfort to someone trying so hard to hide their weakness would only make things worse. And at that moment, Ignis seemed to desperately want no one to see that side of him.
“Is your leg feeling better?”
“Yeah. It’s much better now. Sorry for making you worry.”
“Don’t say that.”
Watching Ignis talk with Aiden, I fell into thought.
From that point on, Ignis acted as if he had never broken down at all—always composed, just like usual.
If things get hard, it’d be okay for him to lean on us a little.
Just like Ignis waited for me when I was stuck digging myself into a hole… maybe the right thing for me to do is to wait, too—until the day he can comfortably show his weak side to us.
“Wow, it’s already this late. I’m heading out.”
“Alright.”
“You guys not leaving? What’s with her—what’s she thinking so hard about?”
“I’ll walk Renia back.”
“Then I’ll leave her to you.”
At that time, Ignis showed no sign that he’d noticed I was there earlier.
“Renia.”
“……”
“Renia?”
“…Huh? Where’s Aiden?”
“He left just now.”
“Oh, really? Then we should—”
Ignis suddenly grabbed my wrist.
As always, his touch was gentle and careful.
“Hey.”
“What is it?”
“……”
He stayed silent for quite a while before slowly opening his mouth.
What is he taking so long to say?
…I have a bad feeling about this.
It’s probably nothing, right?
“You saw it, didn’t you? Back then.”
“……”
Oh.
So it wasn’t just my imagination.
I was screwed.
I instantly understood what he meant, and my head filled with confusion.
Then my thoughts stopped entirely.
“No? I didn’t see you.”
“I didn’t say it was me, Renia.”
Still holding my wrist, Ignis spoke with a gentle smile.
So he noticed.
“…Did I say your name just now?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh. I see.”
“……”
Only my awkward laugh echoed through the heavy silence.
Why did Ignis stop me?
Was he trying to threaten me because I saw him crying?
“No way,” I thought.
“Renia, you don’t have any more classes today, right?”
“Huh? Oh—yeah, none.”
Threaten me? Ignis?
There’s no way. He’s way too gentle for that.
Honestly, what am I even thinking?
“So I told him that there, right?”
“Yeah, you did.”
“And then he just started saying—!”
At that moment, other voices suddenly approached from Ignis’s direction.
Hearing them, Ignis pulled my wrist and quickly led me somewhere else.
“Let’s move somewhere else to talk.”
“…Huh?”
After that, I was dragged along by Ignis like a paper doll, fluttering helplessly behind him.
He kept leading me deeper and deeper into the forest behind the academy.
…This place already seems isolated enough.
An uneasy feeling crept over me, and I carefully called his name.
“…Ignis?”
“……”
“Um… how much farther are we going?”
“Just a little more, Renia.”
Is he really going to threaten me?
I mean, there’s no need to drag me this deep otherwise.
No—still.
I’ve known Ignis for so long. There’s no way he’d do that.
…Then again, my mom’s second son would absolutely do something like this.
No, stop it. Ignis isn’t like that.
Honestly, what is wrong with me today?
I wasn’t scared of Ignis.
I trusted him.
“Renia.”
“AHHH—!”
“…Renia?”
“……”
“What’s wrong? Did something happen?”
“Huh? N-no, no! I mean—”
Ignis looked at me with clear concern.
…I can’t exactly say I screamed because he scared me.
“Well, um…!”
“……”
“Ah! I think a cold breeze suddenly hit me from behind!”
I laughed awkwardly as I said it.
Ignis turned to look around, and his expression gradually darkened.
“Come to think of it… when did we get this far?”
“Huh?”
Wait—you didn’t even realize how far you’d gone?
His eyes, which had seemed empty just moments ago, filled with guilt.
“Renia, I’m sorry. I was lost in thought.”
“Oh, it’s fine. There’s nothing to apologize for.”
“……”
“……”
But… why does it feel like he’s standing closer to me now?
Is that just my imagination?
I looked straight at Ignis and asked,
“So… what did you want to say that you brought me all the way here for?”
“Oh! Well, um…”
“……”
“Well, you see…”
I waited patiently as Ignis struggled to continue.
After a long silence, he finally spoke.
“…You’re disappointed in me, right?”
Huh?
“What?”
“Because you saw me back then.”
Disappointed? What is he talking about?
“They say I’m the most likely candidate to inherit the throne.”
“……”
“And yet I cried over a single mistake—like an idiot.”
“Wait, hold on—”
Ignis lowered his head, staring at the ground, and muttered in a trembling voice,
“They said if I ever showed weakness, everyone would be disappointed in me.”
“……”
“So you must be the same, right? Of course you are.”
As he spoke bitterly to himself, he suddenly took my hand in both of his.
“I’ll try harder so I don’t show you that side of me again.”
“Ignis, you—”
“So please don’t be disappointed in me, Renia.”
“……”
“Please…”
Why is Ignis so convinced that I’d be disappointed in him?
That’s not true at all.
I stared at him silently for a long moment, his gaze still fixed on the ground.
Then I steadied myself and spoke calmly.
“Ignis.”
“…Yeah.”
“When I took the exam last time, my legs were shaking so badly I almost fell—and I nearly cried.”
“……”
“That monster was so gross and terrifying.”
I gently lifted his face with both hands and looked straight into his trembling eyes.
“Even if I looked fine on the outside…”
“……”
“I’m scared and weak, too.”
“Renia.”
“So—were you disappointed in me?”
Ignis’s eyes widened in shock as he immediately denied it.
“Of course not! Never!”
“Right? Me too.”
“……”
“I’m not disappointed in you either.”
Tears pooled like clear lakes in his blue eyes as he asked in a shaking voice,
“Even if I’m like this… as the future emperor?”
“Anyone cries when things are hard.”
“……”
“You don’t have to force yourself to hold it in or suffer silently.”
I smiled and gently patted his shoulder.
At last, Ignis let the tears fall.
“I’m not especially talented at anything… If I don’t work myself to death, there’s nothing I’m good at.”
“……”
“And I’m really, really scared of things.”
The more he spoke, the harder he cried.
I kept softly patting his shoulder.
“And… I’m not actually that mature. I just pretend to be.”
“……”
“I messed up back then, and it hurt so much—but pretending I was fine was even harder.”
Wiping his tears roughly, he continued,
“Are you really not disappointed in me?”
“No. I’m not.”
I stopped him from rubbing his eyes and gently brushed beneath them with my fingers.
“Being scared, not that mature, not especially good at anything…”
“……”
I smiled and playfully ruffled his hair.
“That doesn’t make you not you.”
“Renia.”
“I like you—just the way you are.”
Ignis stared at me blankly for a moment—then suddenly pulled me into his arms.
…Huh?
I froze in surprise, then came back to my senses when I heard him sobbing again.
I lifted my hand and gently patted his broad back.
I really have grown a lot.
Back when I was still in love with Ignis, I wouldn’t have even been able to say things like this—just controlling my feelings would’ve been overwhelming.
Once again, I thought that giving up on Ignis back then had truly been the right choice.
