TDSM 03

Chapter – 3

When I left the classroom with Ignis, strong sunlight hit me.

I furrowed my brows and lowered my head against the piercing light.

Then suddenly, a dark shadow passed over my eyes. I relaxed my frown and lifted my head.

I saw Ignis creating a shadow over me with his large hand.

“Are you okay now?”

“…….”

What did it mean to imagine Ignis acting like this?

It felt like everything would be fine…

What was I just thinking?

I’m doomed.

The more kindness Ignis showed me, the harder it became to give up on him.

After all, the reason I had fallen for Ignis in the first place was because of moments like this.

I first saw Ignis on the day of the Academy entrance ceremony.

Perhaps because of my past life, or maybe because it was always in my nature, I had been quite timid as a child.

So, on the day of the entrance ceremony, I hid my body, unable to show myself in front of the crowd.

“…I want to go home.”

I muttered that to myself with a sigh, but I had no choice but to appear before people. The ceremony would start soon.

I slowly stepped toward where everyone was gathering.

As soon as I revealed myself, countless eyes were fixed on me—so many that it could not have been mistaken for anything else.

This wasn’t because I was remarkable.

It was all because of my unusually outstanding older brothers.

I walked on silently, taking all the gazes.

Then…

“Ouch.”

I tripped and fell to the floor.

Tears were almost ready to spill. Being stared at so openly was already terrifying, and this made it unbearable.

I couldn’t even think of moving and desperately wished that someone would help me.

…I should have just stayed by Aiden’s side.

Regretting that, I passed the time helplessly. Then, a shadow covered me.

I slowly raised my head.

A boy was in front of me, holding out his hand.

He touched my dirty hand without hesitation and smiled at me, reassuringly.

“This floor is really slippery. Anyone passing by would have surely fallen.”

“…….”

“So it’s okay.”

At that time, when no one else helped and only stared, this one boy’s kindness left a strong impression on me.

And eventually, it led me to this long-lasting, unrequited crush.

As I briefly recalled my first meeting with Ignis, I continued to look at him, still shielding me from the sunlight.

If only you had been a little less kind…

If only I hadn’t fallen for you…

After that, days passed without me noticing, flowing by like water.

It was my first time having a crush, and my first time trying to give it up. I couldn’t find a way to solve this situation.

And there was no clear answer to what it even meant to give up a crush, which made it even harder.

“Renia!”

“Uh….”

Lost in my thoughts, I almost bumped into something, but Sierra caught me.

“What’s with you these days? What are you thinking about all day?”

“……”

“Why?”

“…Sierra. How do I give up on Ignis?”

Exasperated, I finally asked her.

Sierra stared at me in surprise for a while, then looked up at the sunset and said:

“Give up…? Is it because liking Ignis is too hard for you?”

“Yeah? Ah, yeah.”

“I see. If it’s too hard, there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“……”

“Then maybe you should stop speaking so formally to him first.”

That’s right. Everyone else had dropped formalities and spoke casually to him—but I had stubbornly refused.

Since entering the Academy, Ignis had grown close to friends like Liliana, Sierra, Adam, Aiden, and me.

Even though he was a prince, he wanted us to be comfortable around him.

Everyone else became casual with him, but I couldn’t. It was just my pride—I didn’t want to be just a friend.

I wanted to be special to Ignis.

…And now I feel sad again.

Eventually, Ignis would fall in love with Liliana, who didn’t worry about these things at all.

When I realized later that Ignis and Liliana would become close, I had wondered if I could somehow change the story, like in the novels I’d read in my past life.

But I concluded I couldn’t. I had admired Liliana even before regaining my past-life memories, and I couldn’t summon the courage to surpass her.

“Hello! You must be Renia, the one Aiden mentioned!”

From the moment I first saw her, Liliana had never failed to shine.

“Renia, how do I look? Am I cool?”

Unlike timid me, she was confident in everything she did, everywhere she went.

“Oh, I messed up. Let me try again!”

When she made a mistake, she would brush it off quickly, unlike me who would dwell on it for a long time.

It was inevitable that I admired her.

I tried to follow her to overcome my timid nature, to shine like her.

But no matter how much I tried, I would never surpass Liliana.

Even without being the main heroine, she would always shine.

Being so close to her, I knew this for certain.

I looked at the sky, feeling melancholy.

The sun, which had brightly shone, had already hidden itself.

Tomorrow, I’ll try harder.

I’ll try not to like Ignis.

“Ah, go inside quickly, Sierra. You said you were tired all day.”

“Yeah. You rest too, and don’t think about anything.”

I gave her a forced smile as I saw Sierra off, unable to relax her worried expression.

I trudged to my dorm room.

“You’re studying hard again today.”

“Renia-sama, you’re back?”

Inside, Airi, my roommate, looked up.

Seeing me approach, she hastily closed the notebook she had been writing in.

“Ah, sorry Airi. Were you doing something important?”

“No! There’s no need to apologize at all….”

“……”

“…Actually, I was researching new magic, but I felt embarrassed to show it to you… That’s why.”

“I see. I’m glad I didn’t intrude.”

I gently ruffled Airi’s hair with a smile.

Airi was the only commoner among the kids my age.

Most students at this Academy were nobles, so commoners rarely got in. Even if they did, many left due to discrimination.

I liked Airi. She had a warm heart and always tried her best at everything.

I always wanted to help her whenever possible, and did so whenever I could.

“Lately, it seems like you haven’t been sleeping well….”

“……”

“If you have any worries, you can tell me. I’ll listen anytime.”

“Thank you, Airi.”

After thanking her, I went into my personal room. A sudden curiosity struck me.

In the original story, did Renia also share a room with Airi?

Or did I unconsciously create this situation due to my past-life influence?

If I were truly cruel enough to betray friends, I wouldn’t have shared a room with her.

Or maybe the betrayal was just out of jealousy toward Liliana.

Why can’t I remember the details of the original story?

I don’t even need the full details—I just wish more would come back.

All I know is my future of betraying friends and eventually dying, and that Ignis and Liliana, the protagonists, fight the dark magic forces and have a happy ending.

Oh, and Aiden is a side male lead too.

Anyway… I’m still stuck in the same thoughts.

Confused. So confused.

Since there were no classes today, Sierra and Liliana suggested we go out.

But I declined and headed to training instead.

I felt weak, and seeing Liliana recently was somewhat painful.

When my head was this full, I figured it was better to tire my body out with training.

After walking for a while, I reached the training grounds.

There, I encountered Ignis.

“Ignis?”

“Renia. You didn’t go out with the others.”

“Ah, yes. I thought it would be better to train today.”

But why does he look so gloomy?