IGBD 81

chapter 81

Serret had been standing by the window the entire time. Her expression, as she looked down at the darkened front yard of the duke’s mansion, was as shadowed as the world outside.

Yuan, who had brought up the divorce and then left with Lydia, hadn’t returned even as night fell.

Serret felt a heavy sinking in her chest, as if she had returned to her previous life. She felt abandoned.

Staring blankly at the window, Serret turned away. Even though she knew Yuan’s carriage hadn’t returned to the mansion, she walked toward his bedroom, hoping against hope that he might have come back.

When she opened the bedroom door, she was met with an empty bed. As expected, Yuan had not returned, and the bed, abandoned like its owner, looked as lonely as Serret’s heart.

Serret perched on the edge of the bed. Sitting alone in that dark room, she felt disconnected from the world.

Feeling truly abandoned, Serret let out a small, bitter laugh.

“If Yuan was the one who suggested the divorce, I should be happy. After all, it’s the divorce I’ve been longing for.”

She couldn’t understand herself. Shouldn’t she feel joy at finally being freed from Yuan Frecthuster?

Serret let out a quiet sigh and left Yuan’s bedroom. After that, the room remained without its owner for some time.

“I love you, Yuan. Truly.”

Lydia smiled at the touch of Yuan wiping away her falling tears.

As Yuan approached, leaning in as if to kiss her, Lydia closed her eyes like she had been waiting for this moment.

From Yuan’s actions, Lydia was certain. He felt the same as she did. Serret was nothing to him, and she could not interfere between them.

“Is this what love is? Damn it.”

Whispering with a hollow voice, Yuan leaned his head on Lydia’s shoulder.

“Is this what love is?”

Murmuring, Yuan fell unconscious right there.

With the help of a servant, Lydia moved Yuan to a hotel. She didn’t want to take him back to the duke’s mansion just yet.

If he were back at the mansion with Serret there, he would resume his role as a husband to someone she considered nothing, and Lydia couldn’t bear to watch that.

Sitting on the bed, Lydia looked at the sleeping Yuan.

His reaction to her confession of love was ambiguous. She had expected a kiss, but all he did was murmur that this wasn’t love.

“It’s just because he’s drunk. Just because he’s drunk.”

Lydia murmured as she gently stroked his head.

But seeing him so helpless from drinking heavily made her feel gloomy. This wasn’t the reaction she wanted.

She wanted to see Yuan despise Serret, to feel disgusted by her, not struggle because of her.

“Don’t suffer like this because of Serret. It’s not even love, anyway.”

Lydia’s eyes welled up with tears.

Why is he suffering for a woman he doesn’t even love? Is it just his pride? Serret had been flirting with Jack Clark, after all. That must be it.

Yuan, you can’t like anyone else. No one but me. Lydia wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand.

She suddenly remembered the white cat that had once followed Yuan around. The cat had appeared one day and monopolized his affection.

Yuan, who should only pay attention to and look warmly at her, had given affection to that insignificant cat.

That cat, daring to receive Yuan’s attention!

The white cat and Serret seemed to overlap in her mind. A trivial woman daring to receive Yuan’s attention by his side.

It should have been her place. Everything should have been hers. Lydia bit her lip.

“Serret…”

At that moment, Yuan, lying on the bed, muttered Serret’s name.

Seeing him search for Serret twisted Lydia’s face. She didn’t want to hear Serret’s name escape his lips, so she covered his mouth with her hand.

The one who should receive all of Yuan’s affection was her. Why didn’t he understand? I love you, so you should love me back.

Tears fell from Lydia’s eyes. Her chin trembling, her gaze suddenly hardened with a dangerous intensity.

“If Yuan keeps doing this, I’ll want to kill Serret.”

Just like that white cat.

Feeling an intense thirst, Yuan opened his eyes. He frowned and sat up, realizing he was in an unfamiliar place.

It took him a moment to register his surroundings. This wasn’t home. A hotel?

With a sigh, Yuan ran his hand through his hair. The excessive drinking had given him a headache and upset stomach.

He barely remembered last night. He remembered leaving the mansion and drinking at a bar, but everything after that was patchy.

“Damn it.”

Cursing under his breath, Yuan got out of bed.

He poured water from the teapot on the table and pressed his temples. Yesterday had been a complete mess.

‘Do you know you’re the worst right now?’

Serret’s voice echoed in his ears.

Yes, it had been the worst. Terribly, horrifically the worst. Yuan began unbuttoning his shirt. With slightly agitated hands, he removed it, draped it over a chair, and headed to the bathroom.

After a light bath, Yuan, now in a robe, sat on the edge of the bed. Water dripped from his hair.

His expression was unreadable, yet within him raged waves of intense emotion.

While lost in thought in the bathtub, Yuan had reached a conclusion. Once realized, it seemed so obvious he wondered why it took him so long.

“Ah, so that’s it. That’s what it was.”

He let out a hollow laugh.

He felt pathetic for realizing it only now. If only he had realized it sooner, things might not have come to this.

“Is it too late?”

His whispered voice was lonely. Perhaps it was too far gone to turn back. He had multiple chances to notice his feelings but only realized them now.

At that moment, a knock came at the door.

Yuan looked up. Before he could answer, the door opened, and Lydia stepped in.

“Yuan, you’re awake?”

Seeing Yuan’s state, Lydia blushed and lowered her gaze, clasping her hands.

Recalling last night, Yuan furrowed his brow.

‘I love you, Yuan. Truly.’

The image of Lydia speaking those words lingered in his mind.

Yes… love.

The feeling Yuan realized now was that damnable love.

After sending Lydia off and spending the morning at the hotel, Yuan went to the park to meet Dr. Coleman. It was their regular counseling day, and Yuan told him about the events of the previous night.

Seeking advice, Dr. Coleman cautiously recommended taking some distance from his wife.

Keeping a distance from someone who stirs irrational emotions could help calm his feelings. Yuan agreed, deciding to stay at the hotel for the time being.

After the session, Yuan returned to his office, only to find an unwelcome visitor.

He approached Regan, who was seated on the sofa.

“What is it?”

“You’re late.”

Regan stood and looked at Yuan, his face unusually serious.

Yuan spoke first.

“If this is about last night…”

“I made a mistake. I came to apologize for calling the Duchess’ name carelessly.”

Regan interrupted Yuan, apologizing.

Yuan watched him silently. Though he came to apologize for the name, his expression suggested he had more to say.

“If you have something to say, say it.”

Sighing, Yuan sat on the sofa.

Regan fiddled with his hands for a long while before finally meeting Yuan’s gaze.

“Has it always been like that?”

Yuan’s mistreatment of Serret was hard to erase from Regan’s mind. If he wouldn’t treat her with care, he might as well…

“He’s not that much of a bastard.”

Understanding Regan’s meaning, Yuan frowned.

“Poor Duchess.”

Regan rubbed his face, unsure how to contain his emotions. He hadn’t slept at all last night. Though it was a couple’s matter he couldn’t interfere with, he felt compelled to do something.

“Why do you… why do you pity my wife?”

Yuan reacted sharply.

He didn’t like Regan’s words or expression. Another man worrying about Serret was unpleasant. He doubted the word “poor” carried only pity.

Regan took a deep breath and looked at Yuan.

“Do you love the Duchess?”

“What?”

“Do you love her?”

Regan asked again, even knowing Yuan didn’t love Serret.

The Yuan Regan knew was not someone capable of genuine love.

Yuan cared only about his family and business. He considered marrying for love foolish. He pitied other men who chased after women for affection, seeing a wife only as necessary for the family.

So Yuan could not love Serret.

“Why are you asking that?”

Yuan asked dryly.

Love… that damnable love. Realizing it left him exhausted.

“Love her. She’s your wife.”

“Out of line.”

Yuan scowled at Regan’s next words.

“I know. But I must say it. As your friend, and…”

Regan couldn’t finish. The words that would follow—about how much he cherished Serret—could not be spoken.

“I’ll handle it myself. Our marriage is ours.”

“Please, Yuan. Don’t hurt the Duchess.”

Suddenly, Regan was earnest. He didn’t know where the intense emotion came from, but he felt the urge to plead.

Please, don’t hurt her. Cherish her, love her.

“……”

Yuan fell silent at Regan’s words.

“She deserves love. You have a duty to love the Duchess. Don’t forget that, Frecthuster Duke.”

Regan spoke and stood. After a moment’s glance at Yuan, he left the office.

Left alone, Yuan stared at the spot Regan had occupied, his expression firm and unreadable.