BVWG 01

chapter 01

“Please marry me! My heart belongs to you!”

A man with long, deep-indigo hair neatly tied back knelt on one knee before me, pleading.

He brought the back of my hand to his well-shaped lips and met my gaze. His vermilion eyes, like spring sunlight, were so warm.

“Don’t marry that weakling! Marry me instead! I’ll cherish you for the rest of my life.”

This time, a man with a particularly large build brushed back his lava-red hair and pulled at my hand.

Because of that, I almost bumped my head into his broad, solid chest, only to look up into honey-dripping purple eyes.

“Wouldn’t I be better than them? Please marry me!”

A man with dark-green hair and golden eyes glittering like jewels smiled smoothly, enticing me.

He had already seized my other hand in his own rough grasp.

Aren’t you all mistaking me for someone else? I don’t even know who any of you are.

Three men, sculpted like divine works of art, were proposing to me at the same time.

It was overwhelming. Still, at least my eyes were being spoiled.

Then, from behind me, a dragon with white scales appeared and coiled itself around my body. Despite the tremendous pressure, there was something strangely comforting about it.

The warmth of this unfamiliar snugness made me relax my guard.

Suddenly, a dangerously alluring man appeared before us, wearing a sly smile.

“That choice—won’t you regret it?”

Despite his empty expression, his black eyes held an unusual tenderness as they looked at us.

Choice? I haven’t made any choice. Who are you, anyway?

That was when my consciousness returned.

Ah. It was a dream.

And waking up in reality meant my body had either fallen asleep or fainted.

Bee-dee, bee-dee, bee-dee—

Sirens blared. I was strapped to a stretcher inside an ambulance.

On either side of me sat my caseworkers, Kim Yeong-ung and Yoon-somebody—I couldn’t even remember the female worker’s name, as I’d only seen her a few times.

This time, it seemed, I’d had a brain seizure. My whole body trembled involuntarily.

Well, it wasn’t the first time. I lay helpless in the familiar pain, waiting for my body to open its eyes again while my mind closed.

It felt like my muscles were being ripped along the grain by a dull blade. I endured the pain as it was. No—there was no choice but to endure.

Because when my body passed out, my mind would strangely become clear.

When my body slept, my mind awakened. When my body awakened, my mind clouded.

That was the curse placed upon me.

Whenever I was awake, my mind would grow so muddled that I’d been diagnosed with an intellectual disability as a child. My family eventually grew exhausted from caring for me.

So, for several years now, I had been living in an institution. A place rife with abuse.

Sometimes, when my body was awake, I would even dream through the haze of my consciousness. But when my body slept, my awareness became sharper.

This meant I perceived everything happening around me—and everything being done to me—with painful clarity.

And those experiences were never happy ones.

Kim Yeong-ung’s large hand pushed my head down roughly. That coarse motion was to prevent foam-spit from going down my airway.

“This one’s lasting a while. Sweetheart, hang in there!”

‘I wish, like you say, my body would wake up quickly! Take your filthy hand off me, you piece of trash!’

This man, Kim Yeong-ung, was the person I hated most in the world—and also feared most.

Because when we were alone, he acted like a god and was the one who beat me.

It’s too hard. I’d rather lose consciousness. But my damned body had already collapsed from exhaustion.

Both the convulsions and the sharp pain I felt with my clear mind seemed like they’d last a long time.

The gap between that sweet dream and this reality was unbearable.

Suddenly, a flash of light crossed my vision.

And then I found myself standing in a space of blinding white. But I quickly collapsed—the pain hadn’t gone away.

Through my blurred vision, I caught a huge silhouette.

‘A monster?’

Its face resembled that of a white dragon, as if it were melting into and out of the white all around.

Was it the same white dragon from my dream earlier? I couldn’t even tell how far its body stretched behind its face.

I must be hallucinating from the pain.

The white dragon spoke.

“Are you in pain?”

“…”

I couldn’t answer, too pained.

“Shall I end that pain for you?”

“…Yes.”

Gathering my remaining strength, I barely managed to answer, desperate to escape this state.

“Then, in the name of God, I shall end your pain.”

Suddenly, I was back in the ambulance. The vehicle began to lurch violently.

Clatter—screech—crash!

With a loud noise, the ambulance overturned. And at last, my seemingly eternal state of consciousness ended.

My awareness faded, very slowly.

I thought I’d never wake up again. But when consciousness returned, for the first time my eyes opened along with it.

The feeling was strange. My body didn’t feel like my own.

“Young Lady! You’re awake!”

An unfamiliar face smiled down at me.

Usually, when my mind was awake, I couldn’t even move my lips—but now, strangely, I could. I mustered courage and spoke.

“Who… are you?”

The gentle old woman’s face crumpled with worry.

“Young Lady, don’t you recognize me?”

Come to think of it, this wasn’t a hospital or a care facility.

Luxurious decor, a soft bed, delicate little items. This was clearly a beloved girl’s room.

I felt a strange dissonance and, as if possessed, hurried to the vanity.

In the mirror, a doll stared back.

Wavy purple hair, fresh green eyes, translucent skin like pale-pink pearls, a distinct nose and mouth.

A girl, both splendid and lovely, just on the verge of womanhood.

‘This is me?’

And then, like a dam breaking, unfamiliar memories flooded into me—and I lost consciousness again.

When I came to again, the old woman—my nursemaid—was there with a man she called my father.

“Asha, are you awake?”

Asha. Asha Esperanza. That was the name of this body. The flood of new memories told me so.

Along with it, I knew how much this man loved his daughter.

Asha Esperanza was the complete opposite of the me who had known only pain and neglect in my previous life.

“Young Lady Asha!”

It was my nursemaid’s surprised voice. Without realizing it, tears had dampened my cheeks. The new memories were so warm, I guess.

“I’m fine. I must’ve just been tired. A little rest will make me better.”

“Do you know who I am?”

“How could I not recognize my nursemaid? I think I was just out of it because of a bad dream earlier.”

At my glib words, both my nursemaid and my father looked relieved.

“Still, I’ll send for a physician soon. You should be examined.”

I agreed without complaint and was left alone in the room to sort through my memories.

‘Let’s accept reality.’

In my past life, I had probably died inside that overturned ambulance. It had been a life without attachment anyway.

In this life, I—Asha Esperanza—was the only daughter of the Esperanza Duchy, one of the empire’s four great ducal houses.

I was sixteen years old, coincidentally the same age as in my previous life.

My mother, who had adored me, had died of an epidemic when I was five. Since then, my father and nursemaid had poured unconditional love upon me.

I had, in my own way, lived a fairly abundant childhood.

‘Have I been reincarnated? Then why do I still remember my previous life?’

As I pondered, a warm breeze blew, and before me appeared the white dragon I had seen in my previous life.

“…You’re much smaller than before.”

Despite my timidness, I blurted out what I was thinking. This must be a side effect of having so few experiences with body and mind awake together.

“You must have many questions, yet your reaction is unexpected. I reduced my size out of consideration for you.”

The white dragon’s tone was gentle, but its eyes looking at me were detached, even dry.

Yet I couldn’t look away from this creature. Its deep-blue eyes were like sapphires—so pure and clear.

“Am I allowed to ask questions?”

The dragon furrowed its brow each time it spoke. It truly seemed to be here reluctantly.

But in contrast to that, the warm scent of a forest drifted from somewhere, tickling my nose.

That scent eased my tension without my realizing. Perhaps that’s why my questions flowed so easily.

“You granted my wish, didn’t you?”

“Yes. In the name of God.”

“In the name of God?”

“I am God’s agent, carrying out God’s command.”

“God’s agent? Then are you saying God really exists? And that God ended my pain?”

“Yes. God’s agent is one who carries out God’s orders. This was partly God’s command. The rest was my whim.”

The dragon’s passing words caught my attention especially.

“What do you mean, ‘the rest’?”

“Next question.”

From its demeanor, I could tell it wouldn’t answer no matter how much I pressed.

So I stayed silent a moment and then carefully asked my next question—the one I was more curious about anyway.

“Why do I have two people’s memories?”

The dragon answered plainly.

“Asha is you in a parallel world. When your life ended in your previous world, your soul entered this body in the other world.”

“Then where did the original soul in this body go?”

“The two of you are the same being in parallel worlds. Thus the two souls were originally one. Only your memories merged. In the process, the self with the stronger will manifested fully.”

I frowned just like the dragon.

How strange. In my previous life, I had almost no will to live, struggling only with pain.

Unconsciously, I raised my head at the thought.

And my eyes met the dragon’s, flickering like blue flames—eyes so coldly blue and beautiful they ached to look at.