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Chapter 04
“I wish to marry you, my lady.”
“…!”
As expected.
Even in my second life, where I avoided seeing even his shadow, I still ended up forcibly engaged to Lai.
I had even considered running away to the countryside this life to avoid getting entangled again, but since several days had passed without any reaction, I had let my guard down.
Eva raised a hand to her throbbing forehead.
“Did I startle you greatly?”
Thinking she was holding her forehead out of surprise, Lai gazed at Eva with concern.
“It’s only natural to be surprised when you suddenly show up and propose.”
‘If you suddenly appeared and proposed to anyone, they’d be shocked.’
Memories of a previous life surfaced unbidden. She had heard those exact same words in her first life when she had fallen for Lai and recklessly proposed to him. The uncanny déjà vu crept up her neck, leaving her unsettled.
Lowering the hand from her forehead, Eva crossed her arms and looked at him sharply, like a strict interviewer sizing up an applicant.
“I’ll ask you frankly. Why exactly are you proposing to me?”
“…Pardon?”
“Surely you’re not proposing to me without any reason at all?”
“That’s not it.”
Lai spoke slowly.
“As I understand it, the debutante season is a culture where the children of noble houses who intend to marry interact for the sake of family alliances.”
“That’s right.”
“I thought I’d like to establish ties with the Blanche family at such an event.”
His tone was more like a soldier giving a mission report than a man proposing, making her suspect this might be someone else’s order, not his own will.
“So you came to propose to me merely for the sake of connecting with my family?”
“…”
“In that case, there are plenty of other count families besides the Blanche family…”
“It’s because you are here that I came to the Blanche family.”
Lai added quickly, his voice trembling slightly.
“I understand it’s shocking to suddenly show up and propose. So I’ll be honest.”
The more serious his gaze became, the more Eva’s eyes shook with unease.
No, don’t say it. Please, just keep it in!
“Do you remember the time we met and spoke on the balcony during the debutante?”
“…I remember.”
Of course she did. It was the first time she had ever spoken her mind so openly to him.
“After hearing your words that day, I began to think deeply. I had always believed that, in order to protect my family, I had to endure everything without complaint. I thought saying more would only worsen the rumors.”
Lai’s fingers brushed the scar on his face.
“But you were the first to tell me I didn’t have to endure, that my scar could be a badge of honor.”
His voice quivered slightly, as if the memory was still vivid.
“Since that day, my heart has been… strange.”
“Your heart?”
“It keeps beating so fast.”
“…What?”
“Whenever I recall that moment, my heart pounds violently.”
Eva’s expression grew equally serious as she listened.
“I can’t stop thinking about that moment. Even when I’m doing other things, my heart keeps racing.”
“…”
“I’ve spent my whole life suppressing myself to avoid being ruled by instinct. But since that day, I can’t control anything—not even my own body.”
Lowering his hand from his scar, he clutched his chest.
“My body keeps reacting on its own. I’ve often found myself overheated and at a loss.”
The more sincerely he spoke, the more Eva’s face hardened. She understood exactly what he meant—because in her past life, she had experienced the exact same thing when she fell for him at first sight.
“Eva Blanche, I fell for you at first sight.”
And there it was—the very thing she had prayed he wouldn’t say. Eva let out a deep sigh in her heart.
“At the debutante, from the very beginning, I saw no one but you. I want to remain by your side, not just for a fleeting encounter. That is why I propose marriage.”
Eva almost laughed in disbelief. Really? I’ve lived three lives because of you, and now this?
Suddenly appearing to say what? Marriage?
Maaaarriiage? The audacity is breathtaking!
She decided then and there to reject him completely. She had to do it now, so there would be no future entanglements. She would cut off even the smallest bud of possibility.
“You must think I’m an easy woman to win over, Your Grace.”
“…What?”
“Do you think that if you suddenly show up and say ‘marry me,’ I’ll just follow along obediently?”
“That’s not what I meant. I truly have an interest in you…”
“You’re interested in me?”
Eva narrowed her eyes at him.
“Then do you know my birthday?”
His honest brown eyes, so steady when speaking sincerely, wavered.
“…I do not.”
“Do you know how many brothers or sisters I have?”
“…No. How many?”
“None. I’m an only child.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Of course you didn’t. You were too focused on giving me flowers to find out whether I even like them.”
Her words hit him like a dart, leaving him speechless.
“I know noble ladies often wait to be chosen and marry without any real knowledge of their husbands-to-be.”
“…”
“But I have not the slightest desire to live that way. Proposing to me based on a single moment you saw on a balcony is… frankly, offensive. I will not marry you, Your Grace. Please leave.”
It was a firm, unequivocal rejection. Lai couldn’t add another word and rose to his feet. Yet, despite being the one rejected, his expression was more apologetic than wounded.
“I understand your feelings, my lady. I understand why you’re upset.”
“I’m glad you do.”
He knew he should turn and leave.
But whenever he stood before her, his thoughts and body seemed to move separately. Even now, his mouth spoke before his mind could stop it.
“Do you remember telling me on the balcony that my looks were… quite advantageous?”
Never in his life had he imagined saying such a thing aloud.
Though mortified, Lai wanted to knock on her heart’s door at least one more time.
“That means I am at least somewhat to your taste, yes?”
The longer the conversation dragged on, the more anxious Eva became.
“Give me one chance to use my face to seduce you.”
“…What exactly do you mean?”
“I mean… let’s go on a date.”
“What?”
“I want to get to know you. Just give me one chance to do so.”
“Why should I…”
“And I’d like you to get to know me as well.”
Lai looked her straight in the eyes.
“If, after getting to know each other just once, your feelings remain the same, I swear on my title as the Imperial Knight Commander to walk away.”
Just meet me three times. By then, you’ll surely fall for me.
Wait…
That’s almost exactly what I said to him in my first life.
The déjà vu dragged her back to the memory of how she had once clung to him desperately.
Back then, Lai had coldly rejected her proposal of three dates. But she hadn’t given up—she had sent gifts daily to his mansion and his office at the palace.
Always women’s jewelry and dresses.
Her plan had been to force him to meet her just to return the items.
When the endless gifts finally wore him down, he had agreed to meet, and after three dates, she had secured an engagement.
She had never been happier in her life.
She had prayed over and over for a different ending from the original story. But, as always, the moment Julian appeared, he broke off the engagement. He always left her alone in the end.
“No.”
“…What?”
“I have no intention of dating you, Your Grace. I have nothing more to say—please go home.”
Out of cards to play, Lai had no choice but to turn to leave.
“I’m sorry for showing up so suddenly.”
“…”
“But I hope you’ll reconsider my offer.”
With a polite bow, Lai departed. Eva felt certain that this was truly the end of him.
“Duke Lai Castro has sent a gift.”
“The Duke has sent a dress.”
“Today, it’s an ornament…”
“Ugh! Enough, enough!!”
Just as she had once done to him, Lai began sending gifts. The flood of presents made her clutch her head in agony.
“Send them back! Tell him I don’t need them!”
“If we send them back, he just sends something bigger!”
“Oh, come on! Is this payback or what?!”
Even this was exactly the same? Why was everything happening the same way, just with our roles reversed?
“So this is how it felt when I sent him gifts…”
Now that she was on the receiving end, she found them truly burdensome. The warehouse was filling up to the brim, leaving her parents and servants at a loss. Worse still, her parents had gotten the wrong idea and pestered her constantly.
If this kept up, she thought she might die of stress before her time.
In the end, Eva wrote Lai a letter: she would go on a date with him, so long as he stopped sending gifts.
His reply arrived almost immediately.
“Thank you for agreeing to a date. I’ll be waiting next weekend on Hilton Street.”
The reply was nearly identical to the one she had received before her regression, which made her even more uneasy. If things kept going the same way, just with different people, then in the end… the one who died might be Lai, not her.
“No, that’s ridiculous. I’m not getting engaged or married, so no one’s dying.”
She certainly didn’t want to die, but that didn’t mean she wished death on Lai either. She just wanted them both to live peaceful, separate lives.
If she couldn’t avoid the date, she would make it the worst date in imperial history.
“I’ll make him so furious, he’ll run off on his own. Heh heh heh.”
With a faintly maniacal gleam in her eyes, Eva began to plan the empire’s most disastrous date.
